I found 2 of the bullies that made my life misery in Jr. High on Facebook the other day: C from grade 7 and M from grade 8 and so I sent them a message telling them who I am and that I still remember what they did and that they owe me an explanation as to why they tormented me like they did and why they and their friends thought that it was ok to bully me like that, and that after all these YRS I have finally forgiven them and let go of the anger I had for so many YRS but I just want to know WHY and they at least owe me that. I waited fearfully for a reply, afraid that perhaps their reply might be that it’s because I’m ugly and worthless and I deserved everything that I got….and that they might even continue to bully me now,too, by cyber-bullying(although now at least I can block them if so)….and I awaited a reply….afterall, what can you possibly *say* to someone you were so awful to? Would they even reply back? If it were me, I’d feel so embarrassed and ashamed.
So far I only heard back from C…..and she started off by apologizing to me! She said she did remember me and said she and her friends were really horrible to me and she’s really sorry, and that nothing can condone the way they treated me but the reason she acted the way she did was she was new at the school and wanted to fit in and not be bullied herself so she went along with what her friends did. She said she hopes her apology and explanation will help me in healing and that it was big of me to forgive her after all she’s done and I was pleased to see that she seems to have really changed and doesn’t seem to be the same person that she was back then. People really CAN change.Redemption is possible! Looking at her profile picture she even LOOKS different and I don’t just mean with age; she doesn’t look like the snooty, bitchy mean girl she once was; she even looked like a totally different person. I told her that her apology really means alot and it will help me in moving forward and that people just don’t seem to realize how serious bullying really is and how it impacts the victims for YRS.I also wanted them to know that I’m a real person with real feelings and that I was greatly affected by their actions.
I never did tell either of them the extent of the damage they caused, however, for 2 reasons: first, if they hadn’t changed and were still the same I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they broke me, and second, if they had changed I didn’t want to burden them with the guilt they’d feel knowing the responsibility they had in causing my brokenness, incl. self-hatred, no self-esteem, my years of depression and the suicide attempts.I just wanted them to know that even after all these YRS I didn’t forget and I wanted answers, and the apology was just a bonus.Plus, it felt empowering calling-out the bullies and not being afraid of them anymore.
As well, for the long weekend, my hubby, the 21 YR old, and his GF went to Ottawa, so his American GF could see the national capital and tour the Parliament buildings and also see where he was born, and the 17 YR old and her friends went with a male friend of theirs to watch him get his LEGS waxed, but I think that’s really gay for a guy to do, and most of our flowers in our garden are all dead now, all brown, dried out ,and wilted now due to it being so hot and dry for so long, even though we do water them.