Screen Shot 08-14-16 at 07.28 PM I was listening to some Arabic music on my iPod and it brought back memories of when I was a teen, around age 15 or so and I used to do bellydancing. Yes, I really did, and I was pretty good,too. I was lithe and flexible and good at shaking my hips and moving my head, my neck, my shoulders,my arms, my hands, my wrists,my waist,my stomach,and my hips and could really shake my thing and it had been so long that I had almost totally forgotten about it actually but I really enjoyed it and it was good exercise as well as fun and it made me feel sensual(HA!)and I’m thinking maybe I should get back to it and “reclaim” the person I once was, and even though I’m a fat hippo now and have a BIG belly to shake, why the hell NOT if I enjoy it?I can just do it in private so my family won’t make fun of me. Maybe I can even find a costume at the Egyptian pavilion at the “Ex” (CNE) when I go next week? It’s one of those many things that I did back in my “old” life that my family doesn’t even know I did…..

As well, God sent me a gift: a little hummingbird stopped inches from my face and was hovering there for a few seconds long enough for me to enjoy the beauty of it before it flitted off and I thanked God for the opportunity, and Patti finally goes home today( to her *new* place!) after spending most of the summer in the hospital with her broken femur, and we’ve totally ran out of forks,too, not a single fork can be found in our house, it’s like they all mysteriously disappeared( maybe they ran off with the dish and spoon?) and I had to eat my chicken pie with a plastic Dairy Queen spoon as it was the only utensil that I could find!

My cousin with cancer is now moved into hospice for end-of-life care so the end must be near and she turns 69 at the end of this month assuming she lives long enough and it’s just been 3 months since she was diagnosed in May, and Bible Camp sucks now that S no longer does it and they have someone new organizing it and both the 9 YR old and 13 YR old don’t like it and won’t be going back next YR as it’s boring and half-assed now, for instance they’ve eliminated the story and song stations for the kids activities now, and their headbands/wristbands they used to get like the ones on the “Survivor” TV show are now just cheap elastic cut off from old socks and drawn on with markers,and what snacks used to be creative and fun are now just a marshmallow with a pretzel  shoved thru it!

The 13 and 15 YR olds are being mean to Buddy now as well and saying he’s “ugly” and “dumb” and he bit the 17 YR old,too, as she was sitting on top of the washing machine with her legs  dangling over the side just like her and the 13 YR old always do and kick the side of the machine to taunt and tease him purposely to get him going; he’ll go all “hairy” and bark in a frenzy, and everything that comes out of the 13 YR old’s mouth lately is so mouthy and  the 15 YR old’s just so shallow and mean and they’re both always saying cruel and nasty things to insult or hurt me…… My family is always pushing me away….I just have to get away from all this craziness….I have to get out somehow…’s affecting my emotional well-being.

I also had this dream that I was moving back to my old Toronto house and someone was supposed to bring Buddy up when I’d settled in but they didn’t….they brought me a Dachshund PUPPY instead with a short tail with a ribbon on it but then the tail fell off, and it was a female and had baggy skin on it’s paws,trying to pass it off as Buddy…..and I said, “That’s NOT Buddy! Where is MY dog?” and they said that someone wasn’t watching and they’d left the door open and he’d gotten out onto the street and hit by a car and killed,and I was just devastated and inconsolable. I was just so glad when I woke up to find it wasn’t real but just a dream and he was safe, curled up beside me.