She Died.

Screen Shot 08-27-16 at 03.29 PM My cousin with cancer( seen here) has died. They had given her 6 months and she died just 3 months after she was diagnosed. At least the good of it is she didn’t suffer for long and now she’s at peace. She died just 2 days before her birthday,too; she would have turned 69. So now instead of celebrating her birthday here she’ll be celebrating it somewhere else and I pray for her soul, that she’s in Heaven, although she wasn’t a religious person, but we’re not to speculate, it’s up to God to judge, not us. I only met her once and I didn’t really like her as I found her to be brash and loud-mouthed, too much like my aunt(she even looks exactly like her,too!) My aunt’s brother( my uncle) was her father. I wonder if she can see me now and hear me wherever she is?

It would be nice if I could go over there for the funeral too as I’d love to go back to Europe again; it’s been YRS since I’ve been there and it would nice to visit my cousins. It would also be nice to get a break away from my family here, a vacation, but I can’t afford the airfare, yet part of me just screams, “Oh, f*ck it! Charge it on your credit card and just  go!” but then the logical , responsible part of me nixes the idea and goes, “What were you  thinking?” Aw, shit….

Screen Shot 08-28-16 at 04.14 PM This picture of me was also taken when I had make-up on and was all dressed up nice for church…..but still ugly. No matter what I do or how hard I try I’m still always ugly. Ugly runs on  both sides of my family so I really had no chance right from the beginning. My mouth always looks like it’s been put on crooked,too. What the hell is up with that, anyway? We got a guest priest from Africa in church yesterday,too, and for church I believe in dressing in your Sunday best; if you were to have lunch with the Queen you’d dress all nice and fancy so doesn’t our Lord deserve your best too when you visit His House?

The 15 YR old called me an “old redneck” too even though it’s my hubby that’s the redneck, not me; I don’t even like  sports, country music, pool, darts, wrestling, UFC, NASCAR, beer,Monster trucks,BINGO, etc. like rednecks do. I just don’t get why they’re always hassling,insulting, and berating me.I’m just so sick of this family. My hubby also said he hopes Buddy gets run over by a car so I told him to go play in traffic himself, and when I was walking Buddy a young guy talked to me as well(and said to Buddy, “Are you enjoying your walk with Mom?”) and he was just being friendly, it’s not like he was flirting or anything, but it still  felt good having someone being nice to me and it really made my day. It put a spring in my step and elevated my mood and gave me a boost. I’m not used to people being kind and it was nice.