What If I’m Wrong?

Screen Shot 09-04-16 at 11.37 AM I’ve always thought my entire life, ever since I was a kid, that I would die before I’m 50, and if that’s true then it’s going to be really soon as I’m running out of time as I turn 50 in January. I’d just always had a feeling, and thought, hoped, assumed,planned, and accepted it……

But what if I’m wrong?

What if all this time I was wrong and I don’t ? What if January and my birthday comes and goes and I turn 50 and I’m still here? Then what? I hadn’t counted on that or planned that far. I have no “back up plan”, I can’t even  imagine YRS, or even worse, decades still left to live; what will I do with myself? I hadn’t planned on living that long…but what if it turns out I’m wrong and I don’t die before I’m 50 afterall? I had never really considered it before and just sort of always assumed it, but now it’s really close  the thought occurred, what if  not? Then what?

For one thing I will be really disappointed, let-down, and pissed-off. I don’t want to live any longer than I  have to and the sooner I go, the better. If I turn 50 and I’m still here I’m going to be really mad and I’ll never hear the end of it from my family,too; but why would I  have that life-long feeling if it weren’t true though?(and I had the same kind of feeling for YRS we’d have a fire too and we did) I still have a few short months left to “test” the theory but if it proves to be wrong I don’t know what I’m going to DO…..

Screen Shot 09-04-16 at 07.28 PM Here is also a picture of some of the guys at FanExpo in their hand-made costumes.I think my hubby looks kind of like Ozzy Osbourne, ha,ha! I have absolutely no idea who they’re supposed to be; some anime characters. They got back home in time for my hubby to pick me up after church but he still didn’t and I had to walk and I was all hot,tired,and out of breath and I was mad; he could have at least picked me up so I’d only have to walk the one way,  and for lunch we ordered in pizza too and could only have 2 pieces each and of course my mother snatched up the biggest piece and her one piece was as big as both of mine together(plus she had another one as well) so I wrote “pig” on a note and put it on her pizza….and then she wrote a note for me that said “Pothead” and left it on my place-setting.

Walking home from church yesterday I almost got hit by a car too as I was daydreaming and not paying attention and that happens alot; my head’s always up in the clouds, and who says fantasies, dreams, and rich imaginations are only for kids? No way! I *still* have an active fantasy life and lively imagination and you’re never too “old” to dream! I happen to like living in my head and I prefer it as it’s better than my reality.

 

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