When I prayed to God in my loneliness to send me someone it was impressed upon my heart, “Don’t discount anyone”, for me to be open, and then the more I thought about it as I waited and waited for Him to send someone that could love me and for someone for me to love in return the thought occurred to me that He already had; that He did answer my prayer 2 YRS ago, when He sent me Buddy! He loves me unconditionally, is my constant companion, loves me when no one else does, and I love him back, and who says the love has to be from a man, or even from a human for that matter? Love is love, and ours is the purest most unconditional, selfless ,giving love of all. He knew what I needed exactly when I needed it and He sent me Buddy. Given my looks,my weight, my medical issues, my limitations,my lack of intelligence, and even quite possibly my personality, it’s impossible that any guy would ever love me, but Buddy does, and he fills an empty void in my heart and in my life.He heals my heart. God did send someone special to love me.Thank you God. I am thankful and I am blessed.
As well, “Aunt Flow” came 8 days late again, just like last month, so I’m wondering if that might be my new normal as I near menopause, and I woke up in the middle of the night a couple of days ago drenched in sweat too with the front of my shirt soaked with sweat, and the first day of “Aunt Flow” was hardly anything either (usually it’s heavy)so I was hopeful it was maybe “tapering” off and then will just stop altogether….but then the next day the cramps were so bad I could hardly stand up(they woke me up during the night,too) and even the pain-killer Tramadol didn’t relieve them(it felt like my uterus was being ripped out of my belly) and I was practically hemmoraging(even heavier than usual), soaking thru a tampon every hour; it was bloody awful; I kept feeling like I was going to pass out,(seriously….I’m too old for this shit now) and I wondered at one point if I might even have to go to the hospital but then I decided against it, not wanting to wait in the ER for 6 HRS only to have them say it’s “just a really bad period” and send me home. So I just took a nap and I also had a dream I heard a voice say, “You have cancer.” Great….that’s just great……f*ck.