After I smoked weed I had an “awakening”: I was shown aspects of myself that even I never even knew existed, and was made aware of things about myself that even I didn’t know, and I “found” myself, and was given more in-depth “insight” into my inner-being and learned more about who I am, and what my purpose is. Some deep-held beliefs were let go and some new ones were adopted, mainly to be less judgemental and more loving. I’m going to love everybody.
Bob Marley was right: “When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself.”
I also chose to see the beauty around me, no matter what else is happening in my life. It’s like with a sinking ship; it’s not the water around the ship that sinks it, but rather the water that gets into it thru a leak that brings it down, so I am choosing to try to not let things bring me down and “sink” me. It’s sort of like that one YR we lived in this other small town and I hated it, much like how I hate living here. We did have a backyard though with a few lilac bushes…..my favourites….yet the entire YR that we were there and rented that house I never sat out in that yard even once or picked any of the lilacs to bring inside the house, I was so consumed with my own misery and engulfed in my own darkness I just couldn’t see the light or let it shine thru…..the beauty was right there, right in front of me to enjoy, but I didn’t see it, I didn’t “use” it.In my unhappiness God had sent me a small piece of beauty and I had over-looked it and wasted it.
I am going to see the beauty around me(and in me) I’m going to use it,and I’m going to be happy. I’m also going to be the person that God designed me to be, I’m going to love others, I’m going to try and love myself( this one will be the hardest!) and accept myself for who God intended me to be, and let Him lead the way.I know He has a plan for my life and He isn’t finished with me yet.