In church yesterday part of the Gospel was Jesus saying how we will be betrayed by parents, husbands and wives, relatives, hated and persecuted, even put to death, but that if we endure our faith will be rewarded. That particularly struck a chord with me, as I have really been betrayed so much in life, so many times over, and by so many people that I’ve lost count. I have been stabbed in the back and betrayed by “friends”, by neighbours, by so-called “professionals”, by my hubby, by others I have loved and trusted and then learned the hard way that no one can be trusted, not even my own family, and probably especially my own family.
In fact, the worst betrayal ever just occurred very recently, and by a very close family member. It just suddenly happened out of nowhere and without warning-wham!- and hit hard and unexpected and really knocked me down; I really didn’t see it coming and all of a sudden I broke and I broke hard. It was the ultimate betrayal and the worst thing anyone could possibly do to me. So here I am, talking to the pieces that’s left of me, and trying to remember who I was because I was strong and I’ve been thru-and survived- so much up to this point but this really gutted me, not just the action itself( which will more than likely bring with it deadly consequences) but the act of betrayal itself.
At first I actually thought it was my hubby trying to push me to suicide, to kill me off for my life insurance $$$$$ and to get rid of me at the same time, but it turned out to be so much more worse than that, and now the traitor that has betrayed our family is dead to me now and has been dis-owned by our family and is no longer welcome in our home. As for me, I never want to see them or hear from them ever again. I can’t go into details but let’s just say that it’s really, really bad. This is something that I’ll never get over.