Merry Hippomas.

screen-shot-12-23-16-at-11-20-am Hippopotamus+Christmas= Hippomas! Remember that classic Christmas song, I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas  sung back in 1953 by 10 YR old Gayla Peevey? Well, at the time 3000$ was raised to buy her an actual 700 pound baby hippo she named Matilda, which she donated to a local zoo, and Matilda and her hippo husband grew up to eventually have 9 babies and she lived to be 50 YRS old. Gayla herself is now 73 YRS old, 2 YRS younger than my mother. I think this is just the coolest story ever. I wish  could get a hippo for Christmas!

Oh, by the way, did I ever tell you that I love hippos?

Merry Hippomas!

My 50TH.

screen-shot-12-22-16-at-08-41-am I can’t believe that next month I’m going to be 50! Truth be told, I have no idea what I even want for this milestone birthday or what I want to do to celebrate the Big Day because in  all honesty I didn’t even think that I’d still be alive! Ever since I was 8 or 9 I’ve always had this knowing feeling that I was going to die before I turned 50 and it was always just something that I accepted and then later on as time passed that I also began to hope was true and looking forward to,and due to the fact that I didn’t expect to live to 50 I didn’t make any plans for my 50th birthday and if it turns out after all that I’m wrong then I’m just left with absolutely no idea what to do for my 50th!

What I’d like to do, of course, would be to go on another trip, but we just don’t have the $$$$( in fact, my mother doesn’t even have enough $$$ to pay the hydro bill this month which is due before her pension goes into the bank,and she had to cash in and exchange 100$ of the American money she had left over from a previous trip to help pay  it) so it will have to be something more reasonable, that is to say, cheap, but I have no idea what,although I would really love a hippo birthday cake  for my cake although no bakery here in “Bumble-F*ck” would have anyone skilled enough to make such a thing.

If it turns out that I do live to see 50(or even beyond,although the thought of still possibly living another 30 or even 40 more YRS is very distressing and depressing and I hope NOT!) I would like to have a fresh start in life, to just start over, to be happy and be loved, which, of course, are *also* the least likely things to ever occur, even though they are also what I most desire. I wasn’t always an overweight middle-aged woman you know; I was once a relevant piece of ass in my early 20’s, although even then guys still weren’t attracted to me( even though I wasn’t fat then I was still ugly) but now the chances have gone down even lower, like to less than zero.

I just wish that there was someone who could love me for me,and who could look beyond the outer appearance , my weight,and my brokenness and limitations and still see beauty in me because he loves me. I believe that alot of my brokenness could be healed if only I was loved.

What I need for my 50th birthday is a miracle……