Daily Thought.

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The Truffle.

screen-shot-12-31-16-at-08-23-am One of the gifts the 17 YR old got for Christmas were a box of chocolate truffles from Godiva Chocolates, one of the best around, and one of them had the unusual flavour mix of cinnamon and chipolte! Maybe it enhances the chocolate flavour, or something, but it was…..exquisite! She didn’t want to “risk” that one so she gave it to me and I just loved it, I mean, I really truly,  utterly loved it! This was the best chocolate I have ever tasted  in my entire LIFE and I was in Chocolate Heaven! I rolled my eyes and moaned with every tasty morsel,letting the divine taste linger, and it was orgasmic! It sent a literal shiver thru my entire body! It was truly a religious experience.Now that would have to be my Dream Gift, a box of these Heavenly little f*ckers.

screen-shot-12-31-16-at-01-12-pm She also got this hilarious shirt of PM Trudeau, shirtless, riding a moose. Isn’t it just the funniest thing ever? For New Year’s we also had Take-out Chinese food for dinner….

and then the Happy Little Family Blogpost ends.

I was attempting to also take down the outdoor Christmas lights and my hubby comes charging out screaming at me to stop, and “You’re just so STUPID!!!!!!!”  and “You always mess everything up and take them down wrong!” and I said, “I was trying to help!”((I thought he put them up so I could help by taking them down) and then he spat, “Do what you do best; lay around on the couch and do nothing!” and then him and some of the kids kept tearing me down saying I “ruin” the lights and then the 15 YR old huffed, “Hopefully she’ll die soon,anyway!” and followed it with, “Now she’ll go and complain on her blog that she hates her family!” and it just broke my heart.

They DO treat me like such dirt. With such contempt. With so little disdain.They make me feel so worthless, so unloved. I just can’t “win” either way and no matter what I try to do or to help it’s just never good enough, and they’re still not happy. They fail to recognize the way they treat me is abuse and refuse to acknowledge the damage that they cause and the effects that it has.It’s easier for them to blame *me* and say I’m crazy than to take responsibility for their role in it and how their actions made me feel. My hubby has ruined my life and I’m so MISERABLY UNHAPPY and I wish I’d never even met him, and sometimes it gets to the point I just can’t take any more and I think to myself I have 2 options: kill him or kill myself but he’s not worth going to jail over so that just leaves me with only 1 other option….

I just can’t face another YR like this, always being berated, belittled, demeaned, devalued, unloved,rejected, degraded,pushed out,excluded,unwanted,bullied,abused, and made to feel overall worthless. Nothing will ever change and there’s no hope they’ll ever treat me any better. I would have thought in the past that my enemy would have most likely been the one to bring me down, to push me to want to end my life until I finally succeed…..but instead it ended up being my own FAMILY.

…..yeah……Happy New Year.