screen-shot-01-13-17-at-10-49-am-001 I saw my family doctor about the lesion on my shoulder/back that I suspect may be melanoma/skin cancer and I also asked him for a referral to a gynecologist for my excessively heavy and painful periods which may be anything from uterine cancer to fibroids to endometriosis to polyps, and I also informed him about my seizures. He took a look at the lesion and he said he doesn’t think it looks like cancer yet he still was concerned enough to schedule a biopsy in 2 weeks to be sure. It turns out that I don’t have to go see a dermatologist afterall( which certainly saves time!) he just does it right there in the office and results take 2-3 weeks. He says he’ll just put a local freezing in the area, cut out a chunk,and give me a couple of stitches,and that’s it.

As for the issues with “Aunt Flow” he ordered an ultrasound to see what we’re dealing with first and then he’ll do the referral and he examined my abdomen pressing down with his fingers and it was really tender and hurt even though I’m no longer on my “pad” which surprised me,so I wonder what’s going on…..he also re-newed my Prozac for another 6 months. There was an old Rastaman waiting in the office,too, he had long grey dreads and he was wearing a wool hat with the Rasta colours and there I was, wearing my weed shirt and carrying my Rasta purse and we nodded at eachother and smiled, 2 kindred Rasta spirits acknowledging one another, to which my hubby snorted, “2 druggies!”

As well, I’d heard that diabetes can be a cause of seizures so I checked my blood sugar/glucose level on my mother’s monitor( as she’s diabetic) and it was 7.3 which is within normal range( anything under 10 is normal) so it’s not that, and my mother snickered that I “disown” the kids if they do something that I don’t like,too, and it’s not true; I wouldn’t “disown” them for anything(except for maybe murder) and in actual fact it’s them that have seemed to have disowned me,and my family acts like they seem to think I need rehab or something,too, because I use weed twice a week for my migraines ,and they don’t seem to realize how mainstream and normal using weed really is and how many regular ordinary everyday people do it, how common it is, but they think I’m some sort of junkie or something, like I’m always strung-out but I don’t need rehab; what I need instead is just motivation, hope, goals, a reason to live,and something to look ahead to. It feels like I’m stuck and I just can’t get unstuck.