screen-shot-01-21-17-at-08-49-am I saw a

Scottish guy on TV the other day  and I was loving his accent and it reminded me of when I was in Scotland 12 YRS ago. I was in Glasgow, Greenock,and Edinburgh. I esp. loved Edinburgh, it’s such a beautiful old city. I could even see myself living there, and I just love the Scottish accent; I just can’t get enough of it and I could listen to it all day! I just loved it in Scotland how everyone talked liked that no matter where you went; they all had that same cool accent, in the stores, in the streets, adults, kids, absolutely everyone yet they wouldn’t have thought anything of it because they all talked like that and to them it was just normal and they probably thought that we had the accent! Scottish and Australian are my fave. accents, and I used to hate bagpipes when I was a kid,too, but now I like them, and it still always makes me laugh as well the saying, “If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!” Such a beautiful country.

As well, I couldn’t find Buddy and it turned out that the kids were hiding him in their room, he was like a hostage, and when the 15 YR old was busy texting someone and my mother needed her for something she huffed, “I take priority over him!” and it made me think, “I don’t take priority over anyone; I’m always the least important, the one that doesn’t matter and that always comes last, and it still hurts and is disappointing too that nothing was done to mark my milestone 50th birthday,either; no one cared, yet when my mother turned 50 I’d hired a limo for her and her best friend and had a company come during the night and place 100 or so pink flamingoes all over the lawn to surprise her but I guess my family thought I’m not worth the bother.

I also finally got a hold of someone at the medical marijuana producer, I was able to cancel the extra orders that were added by mistake so now only one order was charged and only one order will be shipped, and yesterday was the 22 YR old’s GF’s birthday and tomorrow she goes back home to California already. I wish I could go away somewhere,too, anywhere but here; just hop on a plane and go.


screen-shot-01-21-17-at-06-47-pm I also have to walk to church and back later today because my hubby’s playing cards all day and couldn’t be bothered to be back in time to drive me and my concern is what if I have a seizure while I’m alone and walking and no one’s there to help me? He just snorted, “Then you’ll collapse on the road and get run over by a car!” and he got mad and bawled me out as well with the chocolates when I took a hazelnut one as everyone else like those ones, too,and he told me to take another kind, something that no one else likes, as if all I deserve is the inferior stuff,and when I didn’t he sneered I’m “selfish” and it was my “usual character” so I told him to f*ck off and replied, “Hasn’t it occurred to you that maybe I like the hazelnut ones, too?” He’s such an asshole and he always treats me like shit; I threw my life away with him which I regret, and whenever I mention it my mother never supports me or takes my side either and says things like, “Don’t you think that you’ve ruined his life,too?” and “You’re ‘lucky’ to have him; no one else would put up with you!”….gee…..”thanx” for the support…..and then she wonders why I feel the way I do about her.…gee…….I wonder why? Sometimes I’m not even sure who treats me worse…..him….or her…..?