Exhausted.

screen-shot-02-04-17-at-08-23-am I was actually surprised when my ultrasound came back normal and I didn’t have any indications of uterine or ovarian cancer because for months, for at least since the summer I always feel so run-down, exhausted, dropping-dead, weak,fatigued,run over, wiped-out, listless, deflated, worn out, and dog-dead tired all the time, from the morning when I wake up until the moment I go to sleep at night. I even wake up tired. My eyes feel stinging I feel so tired.I get out of breath going up a flight of stairs. I have so little energy I can only handle one project or task a day without getting completely and totally wiped out! I could have either decided to bath my dog  today, for example, or shovel the snow, or cut my hair, but not more than just one of them a day, and the others would have to be done on other days because doing more than one thing a day just utterly and totally fatigues me and I ‘m just so tired and I have to rest.

feel like a deflated balloon.…. a hippo balloon…..naturally.

What else other than cancer would cause such extreme fatigue? I’ve had Epstein-Barr Virus when I was a teen, and I was very fatigued with that, but now I’m even more tired,yet I often have trouble falling asleep and I lay there,awake, for HRS, and I’ve pretty well always been depressed for the majority of my life ever since I was 13 (and  taking medications) and it’s not the fatigue of depression or of the mood stabilizers, either, so I wonder what it is? Why am I always so tired and exhausted that I can hardly even function?Is it possible I DO still cancer somewhere that they’ve  possibly missed?

As well, today one of the kids turns 19 and I’m happy and grateful that he has esp. since he’s the one who’s had many close-calls and we nearly lost him so many  times, but it wasn’t his time yet and God still has other plans for him, of which I an so thankful, and one of my cousins now has neurological damage and an immune disorder caused by getting the Flu vaccine which is why we never get it as everyone we know that has always gets really sick, sicker than if you have the Flu, some even ended up in the ICU, so we just take our chances with the Flu, which we still only ever get every 5 YRS or so,anyway.

While high on weed 90 minutes also went by and I was surprised and thought it had only been 5 minutes as time seemed to slow down and it didn’t feel like that much time had gone by, like how you feel coming out of anesthesia,time feels like it’s gone by quickly, and I went “inside” my head, and  then I got over-emotional watching the 9 YR old playing a video game every time the cute character Kirby got the shit kicked out of him or stabbed,etc.and I would cringe and cover my eyes,etc, not wanting to see , feeling “sorry” for him! and I filled in one of those online surveys while high too so it will be very interesting to see what I said and how it turned out!

As you also may or may not be aware of, I have alot of American friends and you might be interested to know, that, statistically, only a very few of them  actually support and approve of their new Prez Trump, but the vast majority of them  don’t, and, in fact, are ashamed ,embarrassed, and appalled by him.Just a small sample of American politics for you. Just in case you might be interested. You’re welcome.I aim to please.(just so long as you don’t piss me off) HA.

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