The Shoes.

screen-shot-03-01-17-at-12-54-pm-001 I already know what I’ll be getting for my Mother’s Day gift this YR….because I already ordered it! (my hubby doesn’t usually know what to buy so he just has me choose something  I want and then he pays for it): Chuck Taylor Converse  high-top sneakers in purple! ( or Frozen Lilac is the official colour name) I already have it in orange and pink. I can’t say how much love these shoes! It’s my fave. style and I’ve been wearing them for YRS, for decades. When I told him what I wanted he just said to go ahead and order it online and use my credit card and he’d just pay me back later, but then when I did and sent him the info so he’d know what he bought he goes, “What? I’m not buying you shoes! You already have a million pairs of shoes!“(in reality it’s probably more something like 10 pairs) but he’d already said that he would, that it was ok,and besides, it’s my gift,and what I want,and the idea is to get something that  like, and we’re so poor now that I don’t have any $$$$ to buy things I need or want anymore so now if I like,need,or want something it has to end up being a gift for either Mother’s Day, Christmas, or my birthday.Before, when I used to have $$$$ if I wanted something or saw something I liked I would just buy it, even on a whim,and not even have to worry about how  much it costs or how I’m going to pay for it.

That’s what my life’s been reduced to: depending, relying,and waiting until special occassions for my necessities. I feel like a child, who has to rely on his parents for all his needs.

As well, the 15 YR old had a cheerleading competition in Kingston and her squad came in first place in her division, and the 13 YR old being told she’ll have to start keeping a food journal and write down her feelings as well as a form of therapy to deal with her eating disorder and corresponding emotional disorders and anxieties that accompany it I told my hubby that’s the main reason I do this blog, as a form of therapy, as writing is very therapeutic,and if I didn’t have this outlet would he prefer I cut myself or something(as he’s always complaining about the blog and what I say on it) and he shrugged, “I don’t care. You’re an adult. It doesn’t matter.

Just like  don’t matter.

The 17 YR old also painted this really nice painting for the 13 YR old to make her feel better and to let her know she’s loved( which I thought was nice) and we all love her and care about her and are worried about her,and when I went to her appointment my mother told me not to wear my weed shirt, I guess so they wouldn’t get the “wrong” impression, although in this case it would be the right impression, but they’d take it the wrong way, and I asked the 22 YR old if I could borrow his Rolling Stones shirt,too, and he wouldn’t even  let me, even though he always  borrows my shit….and he never even asks,either, stuff like my Crocs, my flip-flops, my mitts, my parka….he just takes  them…how would he like it if I do the same thing to him, hmmmmmmm?