I already know what I’ll be getting for my Mother’s Day gift this YR….because I already ordered it! (my hubby doesn’t usually know what to buy so he just has me choose something I want and then he pays for it): Chuck Taylor Converse high-top sneakers in purple! ( or Frozen Lilac is the official colour name) I already have it in orange and pink. I can’t say how much I love these shoes! It’s my fave. style and I’ve been wearing them for YRS, for decades. When I told him what I wanted he just said to go ahead and order it online and use my credit card and he’d just pay me back later, but then when I did and sent him the info so he’d know what he bought he goes, “What? I’m not buying you shoes! You already have a million pairs of shoes!“(in reality it’s probably more something like 10 pairs) but he’d already said that he would, that it was ok,and besides, it’s my gift,and what I want,and the idea is to get something that I like, and we’re so poor now that I don’t have any $$$$ to buy things I need or want anymore so now if I like,need,or want something it has to end up being a gift for either Mother’s Day, Christmas, or my birthday.Before, when I used to have $$$$ if I wanted something or saw something I liked I would just buy it, even on a whim,and not even have to worry about how much it costs or how I’m going to pay for it.
That’s what my life’s been reduced to: depending, relying,and waiting until special occassions for my necessities. I feel like a child, who has to rely on his parents for all his needs.
As well, the 15 YR old had a cheerleading competition in Kingston and her squad came in first place in her division, and the 13 YR old being told she’ll have to start keeping a food journal and write down her feelings as well as a form of therapy to deal with her eating disorder and corresponding emotional disorders and anxieties that accompany it I told my hubby that’s the main reason I do this blog, as a form of therapy, as writing is very therapeutic,and if I didn’t have this outlet would he prefer I cut myself or something(as he’s always complaining about the blog and what I say on it) and he shrugged, “I don’t care. You’re an adult. It doesn’t matter.“
Just like I don’t matter.
The 17 YR old also painted this really nice painting for the 13 YR old to make her feel better and to let her know she’s loved( which I thought was nice) and we all love her and care about her and are worried about her,and when I went to her appointment my mother told me not to wear my weed shirt, I guess so they wouldn’t get the “wrong” impression, although in this case it would be the right impression, but they’d take it the wrong way, and I asked the 22 YR old if I could borrow his Rolling Stones shirt,too, and he wouldn’t even let me, even though he always borrows my shit….and he never even asks,either, stuff like my Crocs, my flip-flops, my mitts, my parka….he just takes them…how would he like it if I do the same thing to him, hmmmmmmm?