Screen Shot 03-07-17 at 06.37 PM I got a few HRS of relief from anxiety and nausea( that’s been plaguing me for the past week now) after I’d had my weed but the thought occurred to me, is it all caused entirely because of extreme stress, the nausea, the felling faint and like I’m always going to pass out, the lethargy, the sleepiness,the loss of appetite….or might that just be a part of it? Could it also perhaps be caused due to my kidneys failing, just like the test said?

I decided to look up symptoms of kidney damage and kidney failure and I have them, plus seizures were also one, which I’ve also had for over the past year(and why I’m getting the EEG next week), mainly the bad fluid retention, bad lower back pain, always feeling faint, lethargic, and now also nauseated, itchy( my arms and legs, and I remember before when my liver was failing I was itchy,too, but I was also yellow,too, my skin and whites of my eyes,which I’m not now)I’m hardly peeing now ( and usually I pee all the time,and esp. more so with the diuretics) and lack of appetite, and now my Diet Pepsi often tastes like soap and they said altered taste is a symptom of kidney failure. Who knew? It just makes me wonder, esp. given the blood work results, the ones that the doctor didn’t believe, but maybe it’s a combination of the two; the undue, extreme,and constant stress exhaustion and kidney trouble, and I’m also on meds for high BP(which is also regulated by the kidneys), which may have caused it, so…..

As well, during a moment of extreme fear and worry a song came on my iPod, as if to reassure me, “if you know the Lord is keeping you, what are you worried about?” and the 17 YR old went for her medical and physical exam at the military college……but as soon as they had her do a push-up and heard her shoulder  craaaccckkkk! they knew she had a bad shoulder and she wasn’t able to hide it and it automatically disqualified her, so now she’s just waiting hoping to hear back to see if she’s accepted at a couple of other universities she applied for,but I think it’s stupid they reject someone because they have a medical issue, I mean, most people have something; hardly anyone is a “perfect” specimen with no medical condition! Does anyone ever pass?

We’re also having a hard time finding 900$ to pay this month’s installment of the property taxes ( due 4 times a YR) so my mother said we’ll have to not pay one of the bills this month to give us a bit of extra $$$$ to put into the insurance payment, and she decided it would be the gas bill, saving us 200$….but then we also got an unexpected bull for 100 $ more (that we also don’t have!) for the hot water tank rental!Being poor really sucks! Now we don’t even have the $$$$ to pay our bills.