My Aunt.

Screen Shot 03-26-17 at 08.02 AM I was doing a Google search for some hippo images and for some reason this picture showed up, of decorative antique glass shoes and I got this flashback of a long-forgotten memory and I was instantly transported back to my childhood: it reminded me of my fave. aunt as she had a collection of these exact same things(as well as the cranberry glass collection, which I also collect, among other things) and so many happy childhood memories just came flooding back. It’s amazing how one picture can spark a memory and remind you of so much and bring up such warm feelings.

My mother and I used to visit my aunt and cousins twice a YR when I was younger; during the summer and at Christmas. We lived in Toronto and they lived in North York but when you take transit to get there it was quite a long trip. She was my fave. aunt and I always enjoyed visiting them and I can still clearly remember every single detail of their house. We even lived with them for awhile when my parents first split up.I remember it was her that first introduced me to yogurt, buttermilk and cottage cheese, and who taught me to  rub  cucumber slices on my face, and I have fond memories of climbing the tree in their front yard with my cousin and going to the corner store with her, and of her older sister putting pearly pink nail polish on me and how fascinated I was watching her putting on her make-up( she looked like a model) and the time she took me to the Yorkdale mall near their house and bought me a baton. The last time I saw them I was 13 and we just sort of lost touch, for some unknown reason they just stopped all contact with us, and I never did find out why, and I even sent them letters but never got any reply. I still really miss them and wonder how they’ve been over all the YRS.

As well, I said this prayer to God to let me know if I’m going to die soon to send me a sign: that I’ll hear Stairway To Heaven 3 days in a row, and not only did I hear it 3 days in a row…..I heard it 4 days in a row ( twice on the radio and twice randomly on my iPod) and my mother says because it was 4 days and not 3 that it “cancels” it out, but I take it to mean that it’s extra reassurance affirmingwill die soon, just in case it wasn’t clear the first time, but time will tell, and we’ll see…She also threatened to kick Buddy when he tried to sneak down to the basement and I told her if she kicks him I’ll kick her and then she huffs she’ll kick me back and I told her then I’ll kick her again; she’s not abusing my dog! She goes, “How else do you get him to behave?” and I told her, “You just tell him off; he knows when he’s bad,you don’t kick him!” She’s just so mean!!

I also had this intense dream that I was an angel in Heaven and that I came down to Earth to live a miserable, unhappy life full of challenges, trauma, crisis, trials, and misfortune to test my faith and loyalty to God and my bad luck and struggles aren’t a punishment but ,like the man in the Bible born blind, so that God’s works can be revealed, and I have to prove I can still stay loyal to God and my faith despite a life of adversity and return Home, and that’s why I’ve always been so spiritual, had a strong faith and love of God, fervently prayed for others, and sense of justice, peace,and non-violence, and also why I’ve never had love, gotten too close to anyone for too long, and am distant from my family; I’m not to have strong Earthly connections so I won’t feel like I’m leaving anything behind when I go back Home. It was very insightful and interesting! Wouldn’t it be amazing though it that really was my purpose and meaning in life?