The Painting.

Screen Shot 05-02-17 at 04.54 PM I got it! I got to check out the sunflower painting on the way to the clinic (I just convinced my hubby to leave earlier) and they had big ones and a small one the difference that the big one had more sunflowers and the small one has only one,and the big ones cost more, 80$-200$, and the small one was more reasonably priced at 40$, so guess which one I got? 😀 I’d say it’s around 10X10 inches which is still a good enough size, esp. later once I frame it, and it now hangs in my bedroom so I can get up every morning and see a sunflower first thing as soon as I wake up, and go to sleep every night seeing it last thing before I go to bed, and  dreaming of sunflowers.

Now for the not-so-good….the awful, horrible, BAD, actually, (and now we know what tragedy is to befall us May this YR!) at the 13 YR old’s app’t at the eating disorders clinic she disclosed to the therapist that she’s planning on committing suicide 15 May and she has it all planned out and she’s tried it before too by hanging and pills! So they had her admitted to the psych ward of the hospital for a few days for “observation”, and it’s an answer to my prayer,actually; I’m relieved that they’re finally taking it seriously; I’ve been pleading with them for weeks to get her on medication for her depression and telling them that I was concerned she was suicidal and now they finally believe me, and I’m glad she’s where she needs to be to get help and to get better,and where she’s safe from herself.

I was thinking though, I think she does want to get better and wants help since she did tell the therapist her plan of suicide when she didn’t have to say anything but just quietly go and do it, so it’s like a call for help, and I know God will see her and us thru it, just like He always has thru all our trials and traumas, and He will also give me strength to endure as I have to be strong for her, even when I feel like I’m falling apart myself, yet I can only take so much; how long until I completely crack myself? I can only take so much stress, worry, and heartache…. How can I be strong for others when I ‘m falling apart myself?

As well, in less than 2 weeks the 22 YR old goes to California for 2 months to visit his GF and he’s so excited and can hardly wait, and with him away I won’t have to lock my computer,either, as he won’t be here to sabotage it, and no one has to hide their food so he won’t eat it, and for the 15 YR old’s upcoming 16th birthday she’s renting the local highschool gym for her party and a dance and having something like 40 guests, sometimes I feel like God is “calling” us to move to Kingston,too, which would be practical with all the medical appt’s there, and I realized as well that I haven’t changed, but the real me has finally just started emerging after being suppressed all these years!


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