Everyone was away and gone except for me, Buddy, my mother and the 10 YR old, so I had a nice quiet and peaceful day to just unwind and relax. I also indulged in my weed and I had a complete weed day where I didn’t have to do anything but just take it easy and relax and try and take my mind off all the extreme stress and emotional pressure I’ve been under lately. It’s so intense that my ulcer pain is back again,too, and I’ve lost 10 more pounds, now for a total of 40 pounds, all due to stress exhaustion and worry. As the weed started to hit me I could literally feel the stress just starting to melt away,too, I could feel my muscles just relax and loosen , like this huge weight was just being lifted off, and the tension just rose above me and I could feel myself go all limp and “unwound.” It was exactly what I needed and exactly the kind of day that I desperately needed! I need a vacation away from life too, but I also need $$$!
We also got as much rain in just 2 days as we normally get in an entire month and it’s still not done yet,either, and the 15 YR old’s cheerleading squad came in first in their division in the competition as well and the 22 YR old came fourth out of 50 competitors, so they both did well, and my hubby said I’m childish and immature too when he’s the one who listens to Fred Penner songs and wears super hero and comic book character T-shirts and he thinks I’m the one that needs to grow up? At least I listen to real music!
Patti also told me she thinks it’s my neighbour D that probably left me the Dachshund figurine as she’s known for anonymously leaving surprise little gifts and treats for her neighbours and she’s left her stuff,too when she used to live next door to her, and we are friendly; we talk all the time and take our dogs on walks together, so it could be her, but it’s nice whoever it was, and the 13 YR old phones us every day and the other day when she called the 17 YR old she was confused and didn’t know who it was as it has to go thru the hospital switchboard and they said, This is KGH calling…. and she goes, Who? Who is this? I think she thought it was the KGB or something, and at least with the 13 YR old calling us daily( and she asks when we’re coming to visit her) she must miss us and hopefully also realize that we love her and miss her,too! Maybe she even wants to come back home?
The 13 YR old also said they brought in a therapy dog and it was a cute little poodle puppy and when I asked if it was a Toy poodle she goes, No, it was real…. but I meant Toy breed, as in a miniature, as opposed to a Standard poodle, which is much bigger! I wonder as well if some really traumatic event might have happened to her that made her so broken so young,too, such as maybe even being raped(maybe at Cadet camp or something?) or she’s being abused or something, or maybe even struggling with her sexual orientation and maybe she thinks she’s gay and is afraid we’ll disown her or something, which we wouldn’t; nothing would ever change the way I feel about her and I’ll love her no matter what, but it really does make me wonder though if she’s had some sort of trauma that she’s never told anyone about and just kept bottled up inside all this time, left to fester , hiding all that pain all on her own, and that’s what’s causing her eating disorder, self-harm and being suicidal…..esp. since she disclosed it’s been occurring since she was 10…..