Dear God, please help me heal from my brokenness that all the trauma, pain, hurt, and abuse in my life has caused me, and esp. for the way my family treats me that makes me feel so inadequate, stupid, inept, unwanted, rejected, unloved, devalued,insignificant, inferior,small, worthless, and useless. It really hurts my heart and crushes my spirit. Please help me to be strong.
Dear God, please help the 14 YR old to recover and heal, but also at the same time to realize that no matter what may have happened to her and no matter what she’s dealing with that it still doesn’t give her the right to be mean and to treat me the way she does, esp. when I’m the one that loves her the most and I’m just trying to help her.
Dear God, I pray that I find happiness and love in life, that it’s never too late.
Dear God, I pray for health, happiness,and safety for my family, and that my kids never settle in life like I did and that they marry for love and have a happier marriage and family life than I did.
Dear God, I ask that my sins be forgiven and that I am worthy of Heaven. I pray that you can be forgiving and that my family will be more patient, understanding,tolerant,and sympathetic with me and my medical issues and limitations and realize that I’m not this horrible person that they seem to think I am and hate; that I’m just broken, just flawed, just human, but I am trying,and that I have good intentions and I mean well, things just don’t work out so well for me.
Dear God, I pray for peace,and for an end to war, terrorism, discrimination, hate, poverty, oppression,and injustice.
Dear God, I pray for healing for those who are sick, those who are suffering from mental illness, addictions, who are dying, for the souls of those who have died, for those who are grieving, for those who have lost children, for those who are lonely, hurting, or struggling in any way. For all those on my prayer list.
Dear God, I pray that my kids come back to you and return to their faith.
Dear God, I pray for the Church, the Pope, for vocations, for recent converts, for lost souls to return to you, for all people of faith, and for people who are searching or lost to find You.
Dear God, I thank you for my blessings,and for always protecting and providing for me, for keeping my family and I safe and warning and guiding us and providing for our needs.
I also saw this commercial on TV which was a tourism ad for Chicago and it said, Home isn’t always where you’re from, it’s where you fit in. and that’s just sooooo me. In the Caribbean. I’ve never felt at home here. I’ve always felt like the Caribbean is my home and where I belong.
I love this chair. It’s in one of the therapist’s offices at the eating disorders clinic we take the 14 YR old to. I just shrieked with joy when I saw it and quickly claimed it as my spot for the session. It brings back so many happy nostalgic memories of my childhood in the 70’s. This one’s either bamboo or wicker and the social worker said it was a gift from her husband and that he got it at Pier One Imports which makes sense since they’re known for their wicker furniture. The one I remember from my childhood that I liked to used to curl up in and fall asleep in was also round like this although I think it might have been plastic though although I can’t be sure, and the cushion was a bright orange, either velour or velvet, I can’t remember. I also remember my colourful bean-bag chairs as well that I had and loved. I don’t currently have room in my bedroom now, but I did make a mental note that if we do move again( and my hubby and mother are talking about it and thinking about it) I will buy myself another chair like this for my room, like I had all those years ago and loved. Awww….sweet memories…..
As well, my hubby got the new Google Home device( it links up with other electronics such as your phone, TV, etc.) and adds items to your shopping list, gives you information, turns on the TV and even puts specific stuff for you, gives you weather,plays games, etc. and he’s just like a kid with a new toy. He always has to have all the newest and latest electronics and tech gadgets as soon as they come out! Me, not so much. They’re too complicated for me and they just frustrate me. I don’t even have a cell phone. All I have are the computer and the iPod. The pool guys also can’t come back until next week to fix the pool and the green murky swamp really reeks and stinks like a sewer but my hubby tried(at my suggestion) and he was able to get the pump started so at least now the water’s circulating which should help and when they come back they can put the necessary chemicals in and get the ladder and railing put up. They estimated it’ll take 15 big jugs of “shock” ( liquid chlorine) as well as all the other usual opening chemicals to get it clean, clear, and blue again!
$$$$$$$$$$$….. money pit…..money pit…
The 18 YR old also went to her BFF’s graduation last night and today she left on the train to see her BF again and is going to be spending the long Canada Day weekend with him and going to the festivities at Parliament Hill in Ottawa which worries me as with the big 150th celebration I’m worried it might be targeted for a terrorist attack, with something like half a million people there, and they tend to go for large groups, like that concert and the soccer stadium….. also he’ll be teaching at the same Cadets camp as her as well(which is where they first met,too, at Cadets camp) so they’ll be together all summer,too, which I think is so romantic and sweet and even when she goes off to school to Ottawa in the fall he lives in a town not too far from Ottawa so they’ll still be able to get to see eachother alot.
The 2 boys in Edmonton also got new jobs, and in July the 14 YR old goes to performing arts camp in Toronto and my hubby said he’s staying in Toronto most of the month with her,too, staying at the second-oldest’s place, so it will also be a break for me,too, with him gone for pretty much an entire month and not here to belittle, demean, insult, or put me down,I’ll feel so free, and also a break for a month from having to plan, prepare, serve, and monitor the 14 YR old’s meals and snacks,too, which I’ve been doing, all on my own, for the past 3 months now and it is alot of work so a little break will be nice and most welcome and appreciated.
At the 14 YR old’s app’t the other day the NP also asked her if she likes Toronto and she said she does and the NP said she doesn’t and can’t wait to get out of there as soon as possible and my hubby agreed with her saying he hates the city and I said how I love it and miss city life; that I grew up there and had a life there, and I really miss it, and my hubby snarked how you can’t do anything there and I told him I did lots of things there; O’Keefe Centre, Massey Hall, Centre Island, CNE, great shopping, restaurants, festivals, and I love and miss the diversity and culture,etc… I’ll always be a City Girl…..and he’ll always be a redneck.