The good thing is that Patti (who moved away last YR) was in town for a doctor’s app’t so she came by for a visit, which was nice! It was really nice to see her again. The bad is that the 14 YR old didn’t have her emergency session at the eating disorders clinic yesterday afterall; we were about 30 minutes into the drive on the way there when they called and cancelled as one of the team was really sick and had to go to the hospital, so the next app’t isn’t until the regular one next week. Just our luck. It figures. My mother says If it weren’t for bad luck, we wouldn’t have any luck at all! She really needed that extra app’t though and she refused to eat her breakfast as well and balking at other meals,too, and my hubby got really mad and really went off on her and ripped into her yelling he knows she doesn’t want to live here,and she doesn’t behave for us, and doesn’t do what she’s told, won’t eat, and he doesn’t want her to live here,and she was sitting there crying….. the poor kid…..it’s not right that he gets mad at her and blames her for being sick, and I went over to rub her back to try and comfort her as I felt so badly for her…..and my hubby yelled at me I always make everything worse and ordered me to get out of the room! What she needs is medication and support, and I’m sick of his bullying! He’s such an asshole and when I told him so he said that I’m annoying! Even if she does want to live somewhere else telling her that he doesn’t want her here is NOT helpful and is part of the problem. (I just want what’s best for her, whatever will make her happy and get well)
It’s also really hard for me to keep watching the 14 YR old spiraling down deeper into depression and despair and not being able to do anything to help her, feeling so helpless, and no one does anything to help; she needs medication, desperately, and not only are they not giving her any anti-depressants, now they also took her off the medication that she did have, that was keeping her eating disorder at bay, and has now been unleashed since stopping the medication and has taken hold of her again.
It’s killing me watching her crashing so hard, so I did what I could: instead of weaning her completely off the medication I started giving it back to her again…..or at least I tried, I tried giving her a pill again to get her re-started, hoping it’ll make her eat again, she never should have stopped taking them. They were helping her, so I just merely continued, only she got suspicious seeing the whole pill again and thought I was trying to kill her or slip her a Xanax or something, and then her, my hubby,and the 16 YR old all really tore into me , accusing me of trying to give her my pills (which I didn’t; it was her own prescription), that I think I’m a doctor, trying to kill her, etc.. when I’m just desperate for her to eat again and to feel better. I know those pills were helping her,and I know how hard she crashed when they were cut in half and stopped. She needs them to control the eating disorder, and they need to put her on anti-depressants, too. Why am I the only one that seems to see that? I’ll do anything to help her. She needs to get back on those pills! I can’t just sit here and watch as she falls further and further down and do nothing, esp. when I know medication will help her yet no one else seems to see that or do anything, , and she still has enough left over, so why not? It’s her own prescription! Yet just another “reason” to berate me.
This is killing me. I can’t keep doing this. If my hubby’s right though and I do always make everything worse then does that mean if I was gone that everything would be better? If I’m the common factor and you remove me from the equation then the problem’s solved…..