Old Hippie.

Screen Shot 08-30-17 at 06.59 PM I’m an old hippie. Or a Next Generation Hippie. Or a recycled Hippie. I’ve always been a free spirit and embraced the Hippie culture and mindset of peace, love, anti-war, anti-gun,and anti-violence, and with my newfound love for weed, and I love all things tie-dye, peasant blouses, bohemian-style clothing, flowers in my hair, groovy 60’s music, psychedelic patterns, etc. I would have loved to have been at Woodstock; I think it would have been just epic but I was only 2 YRS old.

Screen Shot 08-30-17 at 06.56 PM 001was born in 1967 near the end of the hippie period but I was born with it in my blood, and have always  had the hippie spirit, vibe, soul, and mindset. It even meshes nicely with my Communist background as hippies as well were into communal living and sharing everything they owned, and when you really think about it so was Jesus and His followers, it sounds like Jesus was a Hippie and a Marxist to me. I can still even remember my first tie-shirt shirt when I was 2 years old. I loved that thing so much, even then, and I’ve had a succession of tie-dyed shirts in various sizes ever since. Currently I’m looking for a pair of tie-dyed socks but they’re seemingly impossible  to find unless I go online and pay 3 times as much for shipping as I do for the actual item itself! By then it’ll end up costing me 60$!!

Screen Shot 08-30-17 at 06.56 PM I still remember the time too when my BFF and I were 12 and that time we dressed up as hippies and took the streetcar downtown and everyone kept staring at us. It was awkward but fun. We were decked out wearing tie-dye shirts, suede fringed vests, bandanas, large “Peace” sign necklaces, ripped jeans and Jesus sandals. It was hilarious and we had so much fun. I’ll never forget that.

Screen Shot 08-30-17 at 08.41 AM I remember in school that 2 of my friends’ parents were hippies as well: J’s parents in grade 2 and T’s parents in grade 5, and it was fun hanging out at their house and going to their birthday parties as their parents were so easy-going, cool, nice, approachable, fun, and friendly, and they had cool furnishings too such as beanbag chairs,beads in the doorways, and lava lamps. and one of my own cousins when I was young was a hippie,too: he was 20 at the time and even had the long hair that my uncle hated and always told him to cut off.

Screen Shot 08-30-17 at 08.40 AM As well, on weed I had a “revelation”, an awakening, or an insight, or whatever you want to call it, that death is merely the transferring of matter from one dimension to another (similar to tele-porting) and changing of matter from one property(physical) to another( spiritual) and that the matter still exists and continues on, just somewhere else and in a different form. The 18 YR old’s also all packed up, excited,and ready to go to her dorm/residence in Ottawa this weekend,too, but I won’t be going along, for one thing I can never go back to Ottawa again after what happened there with our enemy and the trauma I endured; it was too traumatizing and I never want to go there ever again as it will only bring back flashbacks and bad traumatic memories. I never want to see that place ever again.

I Am Pogue.

Screen Shot 08-29-17 at 07.39 PM 001 There was this thing on Facebook that analyzed your profile(although I bet it was probably just random) and comes up with sage advice and a life goal for you, and mine turned out to be eerily just perfect for me, if only I had the courage and the confidence to be  ever actually able to persue my dream goals: to move out away from my toxic family and live independently on my own, learn how to drive a car, and take flying lessons, as I’ve always wanted to be able to fly and seeing the CF-18’s soar across the sky I look up at them and daydream, I wish I could fly one of those, that would be so awesome, and to be able to scream across the sky…  and as we were driving home on the highway yesterday I saw the words Great things are coming on the side of a truck,too, and it struck me as a personal message of hope to me that perhaps there still is hope for my future, that things still can turn around and look up,and maybe it’s never too late to find happiness and love? Maybe one day I’ll finally be free? Maybe I can get my mojo back, find myself again,and be the Old Me again? Have a semblance of my Old Life back? Learn to smile and laugh again? It seems so impossible yet I also know that nothing is impossible with God.

The 22 YR old also finally got a haircut; he found a barber in town he likes and that did it the way he wants and now he looks like my Preppy rich-boy friends from the 80’s, all that’s missing is the pastel shorts, Lacoste polo shirt, cardigan, and deck shoes! The clinic went well yesterday as well and the 14 YR old gained 2 pounds in a week! At first I thought it was a pound but it was 1 kg notpound and a kg is over 2 pounds, so she’s mad, naturally, not wanting to gain any weight, but the rest of us are overjoyed as it means she’s getting healthier and better and closer to her ideal weight! They said the close supervision of meals is what was needed and when they asked her what she thought of that she shrugged in resignation she didn’t like it because now she can’t do ‘bad things’ anymore (such as hiding her food) and it gave everyone a good laugh. The therapist also repeated previous instructions that my hubby is not to talk down to me, belittle or demean me in any way and not to let the kids see him mistreat me like that, and he’s also to tell them to obey me and treat me with respect too,and I’ve noticed in the past week that they haven’t been so mouthy and mean or insulted me or put me down like they usually do and it’s been nice!! I notice absence of the emotional abuse has affected me,too, in a positive way as I feel I’m more joyful now, like I have a spring in my step almost, feel happier, and am in a better mood generally, like it rubbed off on me, and they treat me better then it puts me in a better mood,too.

End Of Summer.

Screen Shot 08-28-17 at 10.29 AM Finally! Our pool water is now finally nice and blue at long last, but it took all summer, and we really were only able to swim in July when it was hot and haven’t used the pool at all this month as it was either too cold or raining(we’ve had waaay too much rain this summer!!)…..and now it gets closed up for winter just after Labour Day, so we didn’t really get much use out of it this summer but at least it doesn’t look (or smell!) like a green swamp anymore! I can’t believe summer’s almost over,either, and I also refuse to accept it. I am greedily holding on to these last days of summer as desperately as I can, squeezing every last little bit I can out of them, although if I’m lucky and the weather holds out ( although it is cooling down already, 9 C in the mornings now but still gets up to 23 C later) I can still be outside until the end of October….

How do I know it’s the end of summer? Leaves are already starting to change colour on the trees and fall off, it’s getting cooler, it’s dark now at 6 am in the morning and it used to be sunny and now it gets dark earlier at night(between 8pm and 8:30) when it used to be light until 9 pm. Plus, the Ex ends on Labour Day which is next week and I didn’t even realize at first( and all the schools here go back the day after Labour Day) and I kept hearing on the radio about the upcoming long weekend this weekend and I couldn’t figure out which holiday it was….and then it occurred to me: Oh, my God! It’s Labour Day already? So soon It’s not fair that summer only lasts a couple of months but winter is half the year. For our school this year we’ll have another one leaving for school, so that’ll be two of them in post-secondary, and for our homeschooling year this year the 14 YR old starts grade 9 (highschool!) the 16 YR old grade 11 and the 10 YR old grade 8 because he’s a little genius and skipped a few grades. He got new glasses too and now not only is he a little genius now he even looks like one,too! I still can’t find any of the kids’ social studies, science, or bible workbooks either so I’m convinced that they  either hid them all at the end of last year or threw them out because I looked everywhere and can’t find them anywhere…

As well, I heard the 18 YR old’s former friend, the one I called Klepto because she stole from us, is now 6 months pregnant and she’s only 17 and she had an abortion a couple of years ago too and for the sole reason: because she didn’t know who the father was. So she basically killed her baby just because she’s a big slut. She let this one live at least because she knows who the father is and she dropped out of highschool a couple of years ago as well. I can’t say that I’m surprised or didn’t see it coming. Our black walnut tree has also been marked for death by the hydro crews; they came by and spray painted it indicating they will be cutting it down as it gets in the way of the power lines so the poor tree won’t be allowed to blossom,afterall….

I also had a dream that someone named Elias taught me to love, but I don’t know who he is or where I’ll end up meeting him; here or on the other side, and I had another dream too our oldest has a girlfriend he’s going to ask to marry him…..but I also had a dream that I’m going to die today,too, so….you never know…. The 22 YR old needs a haircut as well but ever since he got a 200$ haircut in California he won’t let me cut his hair anymore like I used to(it’s like I’m a lowly peasant now that isn’t good enough to cut his precious locks) but there’s nowhere here to get a 200$ haircut,and even if there was we still can’t afford it,anyway. A 12$ cut at First Choice Haircutters is all he’s going to get if he doesn’t want me to do it….The 14 YR old’s also on sewing her third cosplay costume for Fan Expo as she’s such a perfectionist she kept finding faults with the other 2 she made and kept starting over, distorted thinking seeing flaws where there really were none, too hard on herself, and they go in 3 days….she’s just like my hubby, so picky….

Also: the most impossible thing to try to do after you’ve had weed is trying to swat a wasp! It’s hard enough anyway as it is normally esp. since they fly in a zig-zag pattern and you swing with the fly-swatter and usually miss, but after weed your perception, spatial awareness, co-ordination and reflexes aren’t so good and you’re left swinging away wildly almost always in the opposite direction of where the wasp actually is and you look like a crazed conductor conducting an orchestra, and several people are speculating the extreme flooding in Texas may be somehow “connected” to the recent solar eclipse and  have Biblical significance in regards to Armageddon, the Apocalypse, Judgement Day, Jesus’ return, the end of the world, doomsday, whatever you want to call it, a sign of the Last Days and End Times, esp. with the Bible warning of unusual , severe, and increasing weather patterns and natural disasters in that period, fulfilling the prophecy…..it does make you wonder though, but what did poor Texas do to “deserve” it; what have they ever done in particular to be singled-out for such a chastisement? Or does it maybe just start with them? Perhaps this is only the beginning?

I can see USA as a whole being punished(along with many other countries for their sins against God, incl. this one), but what is it about Texas in particular; what’s the significance of that? They’re no worse than anyone else. Is it just that it’s their largest state?( or at least I think it is….don’t they say everything’s bigger in Texas?….) My friend in Houston said she was allowed to go back to her house to get a few things and everything’s all underwater and the smell is just awful from the fetid dirty water  I imagine must reek like sewage, and they lost everything,(water is very destructive and then there’s the mold,too) and she was most upset losing her make-up and not being able to initially grab her grandmother’s ashes, those poor people, yet another friend in Fort Worth said despite the heavy rain she was still showing clients around ( she’s a realestate agent) so I guess they weren’t too hard hit in her area. Why let a little thing like a hurricane stop you?