The Mystery Note.

GreatMom When I sat down to my computer in the morning I saw this wonderful note waiting for me, as seen here. I have no idea where it came from or who sent it but it was obviously one of the kids. When I saw it my heart was filled with joy and just soared. My first thought was Maybe one of the kids really does actually love me,afterall? and Maybe I’m not really so bad like I think and my family makes me feel? and then, of course, I wonder who sent it….but then my wariness and suspicion creeped in and took over; I’ve been “conditioned” by my toxic family’s abuse to wonder if maybe it was actually sarcasm, some sort of cruel, sick joke and not really sincere. That, or perhaps some sort of experiment so they’d see what I’d do and how I’d react….

I’d like to think that it’s real; that it’s sincere, that someone really does love me,and that one of the kids broke rank and realized how badly my family treats me and knows how much I really needed to hear that, how much it means to me, how it warms my heart and touches my soul, how it brought me to tears, lifted me up, and really made my day. It’s also a step closer to healing and gives me hope. Then I was trying to figure out who sent it. At first I thought probably either the oldest or the 18 YR old since of all the kids they’re the ones that are nicer to me and less mean but then I noticed it had been posted there from sticky notes, from my own computer, so it was done by someone in this house; it came from here, so it has to be someone that lives here, so that just leaves 4 kids still living at home and the most likely would be the 23 YR old since he’s (usually) the one of the kids still at home that’s nicest to me….plus, he’s the one known for going on my computer…

I figured there’s no way it would be the 10 YR old or the 16 YR old since they’re the ones that treat me the worst of the kids still at home(along with the 21 YR old and the second-oldest that have moved out they treat me the worst too) and not likely it would be the 14 YR old as I feared I’ve “lost” her forever, but if it secretly was her it would be extra special. I’m grateful and happy for it whoever sent it, but coming from her would be extra special since it feels like I’ve lost her even though I’ve never stopped loving her; I always have and I always will, and I always hold out hope that she’ll come “back” to me someday, that she’s not “gone” for good. It’s a real mystery though but it was nice to see, a nice surprise, much appreciated and much needed. ♥  A big thank-you to whoever sent it.

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