Hotdog.

BuddyMustard For the longest time the 14 and 16 YR olds have wanted to squirt mustard all down Buddy’s back as being a Dachshund he looks like a weiner and in doing so he’d look like a hotdog so I finally agreed, on condition that they do it in the bathtub just in case he does one of his shakes and it splatters all over, or in case he makes a run for it and gets loose then at least he’s just confined to the bathroom and then that they bath him right away afterwards, so they did. I also made them promise they’d take a photo for me for my blog, ha,ha. They said he just looked so sad, so crestfallen when they put the mustard on him, so much so that they felt badly. Then ,of course, that was the time that the hair dryer decided to break too so he wasn’t able to even get properly dried off and the poor dog was shivering and cold and I had to towel-dry him and wrap him up in a bunch of blankets and hold him close forever to keep him warm until he finally stopped shaking, poor boy.

I also did this massive, colossal turd that I swear was as wide as the 11 year old’s arm; it was huge; a torpedo, and it took forever to push it out and I had to exert as much force as I did pushing out a baby and I almost passed-out from the effort and it felt like it ripped my ass apart and stretched it a few sizes bigger; now I know what a gay guy that just got deflowered feels like! Oh, my God, it was brutal! It was really long,too, and I wonder if that may have explained some of my pain, at least the abdomenal pain; I was literally full of shit, it was all plugged up, a log-jam, blocking everything up, all backed up, causing the pain, as after I got it out the pain did subside a bit…of course I still have the stomach and lower back pain,and now I have some sort of weird headache,too; it’s always something…

The 14 YR old also told me to watch out for one of the bathroom sinks as the 23 year old left something really disgusting in there…  and when I asked if he’d horked in there (like he and my hubby often do) she said, no…even worse…

I asked, did he pee in the sink?….

No ….even worse…

Oh, my God, don’t tell me he shit in the SINK?

and so I went to see and there were a bunch of short and curlies floating in water, and I hope to God they’re just beard trimmings and NOT pubes! Ick! I can’t even go there. The boys are just so……gross.