Judas.

Judas I still can’t believe that Patti, or shall I say Judas, turned on me, blocked me from her life, used me, and betrayed me like she did. It esp. hurt as I thought she was my friend, and even more so since I don’t make friends easily, I don’t “warm” to people easily, I don’t trust people, don’t get too close to people, and don’t have many friends, so when I do, it means alot to me and it’s something special that I value and when you lose something that you value, something that’s been cultivated, worked on, given loving care and that you cherish and that is rare, it hurts even more when you lose it so I think that’s why it hurts so much why she did what she did, and even more so so abruptly,and without warning or explanation. A false friend is worse than an enemy because at least with an enemy you know what to expect.

The more I actually think about it though I figure, if she’s going to be like that( a user, not a loyal friend, quick to “turn” on and drop a friend, treating friends like that,etc.) then I’m better off without her and don’t need “friends” like that. When I think about it, I’ve always given her birthday and Christmas gifts as well and she’s never given me one, not even once. I guess that might have been a red flag there, a warning sign, that she maybe really wasn’t a true friend, afterall, that she was in it for something else, using me for something, or at the very least that I valued the friendship more than she did and it didn’t mean as much to her as it did to me.

Then there was the fact that she always complained about everything and everyone and was notorious for always reporting her neighbours to the authorities about every little thing and was really super-nosey( I prefer to leave people alone and mind my own business) and she’d always gossip and tell me not-so-nice things about her other friends which I thought was mean,talking behind their backs like that,not something a real friend would do, and made me wonder if she’s saying things like that about them to me, what is she telling them about me, and then when I found out she’s a racist, too…. I don’t need someone like that,and maybe she was just using me for Buddy to impregnant her dog and then cut me off once she got what she wanted and no longer had “use” for me anymore, who knows? My ex-friend J was the exact same way.

HA, it would serve her right if all of the puppies ended up to be male though as she wants to keep a female. The 16 year old even went as far as to say she hopes Patti’s dog and all the puppies die and she ends up with nothing, but I think that’s too mean and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody but it would serve her right if none of them were females and she never ended up with one in the end anyway. I’m better off without her, I know, but losing someone I confided in, trusted, and thought was a good friend still hurts just the same.

KFC I also got the KFC Double-Down with the hot zinger sauce and maple waffle .Isn’t it just glorious? I just took out the waffle as maple is gross but I ate the chicken. A heart-attack waiting to happen, ha,ha, but I figure if it’s the last thing I ate before I died at least I’d die with a full stomach and a smile on my face. I’d die happy. People in USA were also complaining how it’s not fair that we get this up here in Canada and they don’t in USA but it’s almost always the other way; they’re usually the ones that get all these things and we never do, so now they know how we feel like all the time!It sucks here, we lag behind the rest of the world in so many  things!

I still have that splitting headache and it’s unlike any I’ve had before,too,and it’s weird: it’s only on one side of my head and I can feel it in the spines of my sore stiff neck and going up the back of my head and even my ears are throbbing and feel like they’re under pressure, sort of like when you quickly come up from under the water and your ears are all water-logged, my heart beat pulses with each throbbing pain of my head, plus it feels like an ice-pick is jabbing behind my right eye and the pain is so bad that nothing gets rid of it,not ibuprofen 600 mg, Tramadol, Tylenol # 3, Tylenol Sinus, not even weed, and that even relieves the pain of my migraines, but even that doesn’t get rid of this one and it’s been 3-4 days now I’ve had it now. I think I have a fever too so my guess is likely a sinus infection…