Unedited.

Screenshot_532 This blog post is an experiemnt. I am blogging greely and without censor or any editing. I have taken my weed(although I’m always out of focus normally, anyway) and any grammar or spelling or other mistakes have been left in so you can see the real thing, naturally, as it came out of my head and was typed down, so basically what you see is blogging while high, or ,rather, the results of blogging while high. I had my consultation with the medical marijuana doctor, who I referred to as the Weed Man and the 14 year old ( she turns 15 tomorrow) over-heard and goes, I thought you haven’t had the Weed Man for years? thinking it was the company that sprays the pesticides on your lawn for weeds.We used to get it done until the enviro freaks made some stupid law that banned their chemicals and the new mushroom crap thing they were forced to use instead didn’t even work! We STILL had dandilions! Speaking of which, I’m the one that always digs them up every year but I honestly don’t have the stamina, the strength, or the motivation to do it this year.  I’m depleted. Environmentalism is also just a world-wide cult, spreading a New World religion and indoctrinating the next generation.

This time at the medical marijuana place it was a bit different for the yearly license renewal; first they had some cannabinoid therapeutic something-or-other take down my info and when she mentioned about my bipolar she asked if there were any other mental disorders in the family I blurted out, My whole family is crazy!We’re a big crazy family!! and she looked like a combination of laughing and shocked and when she asked which form I use the medical marijuana and I said generally the cannabis oil as my family hates the smell and calls me Pothead…. she said, I hope only in jest, not in a mean way…. and I lamely replied, well…with them you never know…. but  was thinking to myself inside my head, If only she knew. The masks that we wear. The secrets that we keep. The things nobody knows. Then I had an onlive video consult with the nurse practitioner. Last time it was doctor. She could tell my nationality by my name and she was the same and spoke the language so we were both speaking in it and it was so cool and a surprise. I got it renewed for another year, no problem, and I applied for compassionate pricing based on my income tax statement; if my income is low enough and I’m poor enough I’ll qualify for a discount on my weed; 25 % discount!

I was getting the planters ready filled with soil preraring to plant my sunflower seeds  soon and my hubby was out doing yard work around the pool and I asked him to pass me one of the planters from over the diving board and as he did he knocked over and broke one of my garden gnomes and he just dismissed(it’s just something of mine,right, so who cares?) it and even blamed me because I was the one that asked him to reach something for me instead of going over and getting it myself. Yup. You read that right. It was MY fault for asking him to reach me the planted instead of his fault for dropping the gnome. Really? I told him he’s just like my mother; never taking any responsibility and always blaming someone else for what you did. Him and the kids also now constantly taunt Buddy and indirectly, me, by calling Buddy half-breed ( I remember bullies in grade 8 used to call my friend J that,too) as well due to the shit Patti posted about him , but I tell him to just ignore the haters, bullies,and assholes, it’s not worth it, just consider where it comes from and don’t let them get to you. That’s what I try to do.Besides, don’t believe everything you read on the Internet, anyway, and don’t listen to anything that crazy bitch says, either!

I also feel really ethereal and other-worldly today, and just got back a long distance memory that had been forgotten (or hidden?) perhaps long buried, all these years from when I was a kid; I had forgotten until just now when a foreign word popped up in my head and I instantly recognized it from when I was a kid yet didn’t remember what it meant; I used to remember hearing it all the time around the time I was 4 or 5, and then  it was long forgotten until I just remembered it now again; the memory was just somehow triggered and it came back, out of nowhere.Is it a word or someone’s name?Whatever it is, it evoked a happy response(along with surprise at the long-forgotten now resurfaced word and instant recognition; Oh, my God, I remember that word! It’s from my childhood!) along with a smile, so it must have come from a good memory. Then I was trying to figure out where it came from, But what does it mean? how to place it,and where it fit in, like a puzzle piece, but wasn’t able to, everything around it was a shadow.  In a sense it almost felt as though it were an uncovered word that I wasn’t supposed to  “reconnect” with but accidently  discovered, like a secret that was supposed to stay hidden that was exposed by mistake. Something I wasn’t supposed to know but found out, that was to be kept from me but  decades later I came across it.  It had that kind of “aura.”It must have been the weed as I can tap into and access memories and parts of my subconscious that I can’t normally reach and often learn(or re-learn?) new things that are revealed, deeper understandings, answers, future events, visions, revelations, guidance, direction, insight, etc. that I normally don’t. The Rastafari are right; it brings you more spiritually,closer to God, and enlightens you.

I also have this splitting, blinding headache today that woke me up at 1 am and the stomach and abdomenal pain is off the wall and sometimes the best way to describe it is like saying my stomach’s being stretched out as far and as taut and as thin as it possibly ca be, in all directions, until it’s as tight as it can be and then twisted and twisted and then kicked by a horse. That might be the closest way I think of to describe what the pain feels like. I did hear back from the Gasrto doc though and I see him in 2 weeks.Maybe he’ll want to do a biopsy or something on the liver or another scope to check on the stomach ulcer? I’ll also have more test results in….being in constant pain every day SUCKS! Ugh!! The Weed Doc also said it’s best to take it every day for best effect and results. Just like any other medicine I suppose. JUst like all my other meds. Just like your daily vitamin. WAKE AND BAKE.  😀