The Agent.

Realestate The realestate agent came over to assess our house. I chose the same guy that sold 2 neighbours’ houses in less than 2 weeks. As it turned out he’s probably a good choice as he said he sold 200 houses last year alone and the average is between 10 and 20. He was impressed with the age (over a century) size of the house, and with the hardwood floors, the 7 bedrooms, inground pool, and the space, and large size of the lot(actually it’s a lot and a half) and large fenced-in yard, but he said we need to get rid of all the “clutter” and have some renovations and touch-ups( like paint) and things like that done before it’s ready to sell. I just remember too when he was looking around in all the rooms in my bedroom I still had that pillow with f*ck on it displayed on my bed; I wonder if he saw it? Ha, ha, ha…oh, well.

He said with the market in this area the most we’d be able to get is still 100 K less than what the average house costs in the cheaper end of the spectrum in the area we’ll be moving to, so we can’t afford it; the only way would be is to take out a mortgage( this house is already fully all paid for) to cover the extra 100 K but my hubby would have to do that and make the monthly payments as my mother’s on pension and doesn’t have the $$$$ anymore.In any case, it is because of his job that we have to move so he should be the one to pay the expense. That’s the only possible way we could do it and afford it, plus we’d put the rest of the $$$$ we’d get from selling this house into it and the mortgage would be to make up the difference that we’re short, that we don’t get when we sell this one.The agent said he’ll look into some things in the meantime and get back to us and we continue with our cleaning.

The pool guys were also supposed to come yesterday as well and check about the leak. They were originally supposed to come last week actually, but never did, and they never did yesterday,either, and now they say they’re coming today but I won’t hold my breath…we haven’t even been able to use the pool yet as the water level’s so low the pump can’t circulate the water….we tried putting the dishwasher thru another cycle as well to see what happens as a test and as soon as it started it started smoking from the back near the wall, and I mean really smoking, with a thick acrid smell, like with fire, so I was freaking out and we shut it off as well as power to it. Holy shit, that’s it, I’m not using that thing ever again!

We also finished another year of homeschooling until the fall, and my mother seems to have fallen into a depression now,too,she’s still just laying on the couch all day and I’m still the one doing all her work and she’s hardly eating anything anymore and her blood sugar’s been high; 13(it should be under 10) and she says things like Maybe I’ll be dead soon…. and made a chilling comment about having to “hide” her pills so she wouldn’t take them in a suicide attempt. It seems like she’s just given up now, like how I have, and I should know because I’ve been there and I know depression very well and I wonder too if maybe her pain is actually emotional pain being transferred as physical pain and that’s why nothing showed up on any of the tests because physically there’s nothing wrong? I often wonder if my migraines and abdomenal pain might be the same kind of thing,too?

She saw her doctor as well and I called him ahead of time to update him on the situation and to let him know my concern as she said she wasn’t going to tell him any of this but how can he help her if he doesn’t know the whole story and if she’s not able to reach out and ask for help then someone else has to reach out for her  and she said they had a good long talk and he increased her meds for the diabetes and cholesteral but she was able to convince him that she’s ok otherwise but I’m not so sure….