Our House.

OurHouse This is our house. How much do you think we could get for it if we sell it? I had a dream last night that someone said to my mother and I, You won’t have to move as neither of us really want to but with my hubby’s new job near Toronto we sort of have to even though all the houses anywhere close to there cost 100K or more than the most we’d get selling our place, or at least according to what the realestate agent told us. My hubby also now says when we move we’ll sell the piano and get rid of the Italian leather couches in the rec-room as well even though I love  them; the piano is a restored antique and even though the one that plays it has moved out and doesn’t live here anymore it’s still a beautiful piece of furniture and the cherry wood compliments the rest of our livingroom and diningroom decor, and as for the leather couches, they are made of  fine Italian leather, and, in fact, we even had them special ordered from Italy(this was back in Ottawa when we used to have $$$) and even had to wait months to have them made and delivered and they cost 3000$ each, I don’t want to get rid of them!

Why is he trying to get rid of everything love? What next? Is he going to get rid of the Grandfather clock,too? It’s all we have left now as a reminder from our former days of $$$$ and we’ll never be able to afford things like that ever again. It’s bad enough we have to move,and now he’s also trying to get rid of all the stuff I like,too? This whole thing is just giving me so much worry , stress, and anxiety I was awake until late at night, have a hard time sleeping and my nails are nibbled right down to the cuticle practically. I’m a nervous wreck!Like with everything else though, I surrender it to God and ask Him to guide us to what’s best so that things all work out.

My biggest worry about moving is if he has to take out a mortgage as it is now our house is fully paid for, no mortgage, as it has been for years, so it makes no sense to go back to paying a monthly mortgage again and what if he can’t keep up the payments(I honestly don’t know where he’s going to find an extra 1500$ or so every month to pay it; everything is already spent as it is on bills and food) and we lose the house? We already have it now and it’s already all fully paid for, so why would we take that risk and possibly risk losing what we already have now for something that costs more than we can afford? It just doesn’t make any sense to me, it really doesn’t. Maybe this is God’s way of saying we should just appreciate what we have now( we did used to have $$$$ before but we don’t now) and be grateful and not try for something out of our price range, in an area we can’t afford, and live beyond our means? Perhaps God is trying to humble us?

Maybe we’re just meant to stay in this house,in this area we can afford, that this is the home God has chosen for us and we’re not supposed to leave, and both my mother and I had always thought when we’d moved here that this was going to be our last and final house, at long last, after moving in some 13 different places, and that this would be the house we would die in. We were like Gypsies before, never staying too long in one place, the average of 4-5 years and then moving on somewhere else, to another residence,esp. in Toronto, but now we’re older and we want to lay down roots and stay settled. Moving is such a stressful undertaking and hassle and we’ve had enough of it. We thought we’d never be moving again.

At least after 3 weeks my mother finally seems to be doing better and getting back to her old self, and she even did a load of laundry and was even up in her room cleaning out her closet, and she’s started eating again,too,so more and more I’m thinking that I was right; her pain was all just psychological and everything was all stemming from depression and whatever the doctor said to her must have helped because she seems better now and she did mention to me how he reminded her that for her age her health is actually quite good; her heart, lungs,and mind are healthy; it’s just her diabetes and cholesteral, and she doesn’t need a walker, oxygen, home-care,doesn’t have cancer,not bed-ridden,in the hospital,in a nursing home, etc. like alot of people her age do, so maybe she was just down on getting old and then realized she’s really not so bad off considering her age? (She turns 77 next month.)

The 15 YR old couldn’t find her pants the other day either and complained no one ever does any laundry around here even though I just did put a load in and told her, I just put a load in at 8 am! (and it was just 10 am at the time!) and what she was looking for was in the dryer and not ready yet and she was so mad and stomped off, and  the dishes finally got done,too, after 3 days of me telling the kids to wash them! No matter what I do, it’s never enough and they just don’t listen. This parenting thing really sucks!