Rib Fest!


Feed your fat face!!!  We got ribs from a local Ribfest this weekend. They had 4 vendor food trucks selling them and they were nice, big, fat juicy bones and were soooo good! I feel badly for the Muslims and Jews that will never know the pure deliciousness and  gastronomic pleasure that is pork ribs.They really don’t know what they’re missing. They’re really messy but they’re oh-so-good! The 23 YR old told me not to give Buddy any as if it was poison or something, and so I just cut out for him a piece of the meat but with no sauce and didn’t let him gnaw on the bones in case they splinter and he chokes, and then it got me thinking…..holy shit… I wonder if that’s maybe even what my hubby’s doing not only to me but maybe also to my mother too, poisoning us both since neither of us wants to sell the house(we own it) and he’s so intent on moving so if he gets us out of the way he gets the house and he’s free to sell it if he wants and move plus my life insurance $$$ to cover moving costs, etc.. Maybe that’s also why her pain has suddenly returned,too: he’s poisoning her,too? He did say a few times he was going to kill me off for my life insurance $$$$ and that he was poisoning my drinks….and with him you never know and you can never tell if he’s joking or serious, so you never really know, and I wouldn’t put it past him; I’ve seen a very scary, dark, vengeful, cruel, vindictive, violent, and heartless side of him,too, and I had a dream once someone warned me, Be careful; he’s even more violent than you know….

I also wonder as well if Patti really did come by yesterday afterall or did I just imagine it? Did it really happen or was it just a hallucination? I have an increasing hard time lately being able to distinguish between if something is real or if I just imagined(or dreamt) it  not only at the time it’s occurring but even days after. I’m thinking, Is that real? Did that really happen? Did I really see what I think I saw? Is this real or did I just imagine it? and then I try to remember tiny details of what I saw, such as what the people were wearing, what colour the car was, where I was at the time,for instance, to see how clear a picture I can get, how well I remember it, to try and assess whether or not it was more likely it was real and actually happened or if it was just a hallucination. Running and hiding when Patti came by also reminds me of when I was kid trying to dodge bullies walking alone to school and back, trying to go another way to try and avoid them,and the fear I felt passing by their houses hoping I wouldn’t run into them and they wouldn’t beat me up.

The only way I know for sure something really happened or is real is if someone else also saw or heard it too but if it was just me I can never quite be sure because I don’t trust my own mind,and I was thinking about Patti if she really did come by why didn’t she come furiously banging on my door, angry I took off, and demanding an explanation? Plus, her yelling out my name was alarmingly loud and sounded like it was coming from right behind me, right into my ear,practically an echo,almost enhanced, when she was actually halfway down the street, so it makes me wonder. It’s really hard losing your grip on reality and not being able to sort out what’s real and what isn’t,and it’s scary,too. As for Patti and my fear she may retaliate(for me ignoring her now she used me and dumped me), I also know something that she’s doing regarding her Oxy prescription too so if she ever threatens or endangers my family or I then I have “ammunition” I can use against her,too, and in just one call to the RCMP I will bring that bitch down! No one f*cks with me and my family!!!!! Normally I don’t bother people or get all up in their business  but if they harm my family there’s NOTHING I won’t do.


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