Never Get To Blossom.

Screenshot_133 This is Sunny The Sunflower. It’s tall now, around 3 feet but still no sign of any flower and now it’s sickly-looking, wilted and dying. Maybe it’s defective? Asexual? Infertile? I always seem to get the brokem defective stuff. This poor wilted little flower reminds me of myself in life: never got a chance to blossom. Both of us will likely live our lives and then just wither up and die without ever blossoming, without ever blooming. We grow bigger, we grow taller, we endure the hardships and storms of life,we age and mature, but we never get to blossom, never get to bloom into the pretty flower, never get to become something beautiful, never get to our potential, never get to shine, never get to contribute to the garden, never get our time in the sun, never get to be picked for our beauty, never get to be a flower, but just stay a plant but never progress, grow, or transform beyond that and then just wither up and die without ever getting to blossom. Maybe it’s sheltered too much inside and hasn’t got a chance to grow properly, or maybe it’s just stunted or missed out on certain opportunities in life and wasn’t able to blossom, also like me? This pathetic and struggling little plant is so symbolic of me and my life; struggling, surviving, but never get to blossom.

Screenshot_132 The Daily Bruise: Day 7. It’s been a whole week now and it still looks this good! I wonder how long it will take until it heals up completely? I also have this massive headache and I tried another allergy med as well and I still have the constant runny stuffy nose and it made me wonder: maybe it’s actually not just my allergies afterall but in actual fact something else that mimics the same symptoms and I just assume it’s my allergies? Maybe it’s even a tumour in my sinus or CSF or something somehow leaking from my brain causing headaches and what I just think are my usual allergies, esp. since the usual allergy meds no longer work anymore to relieve them, unless I’m just somehow immune to them now, or something? I also hope with my mother’s back pain that she doesn’t have bone cancer or something, affecting her spine,causing the pain, although you’d think something like that would have showed up in the scans….

Screenshot_134 I was also bored and so I drew this little stretching baby hippo doodle. Just because.

Screenshot_136  Here is my little sweetie.He actually poses for the camera. He’s such a ham. I just love him so much.He is my heart, my joy, my light, my love, my life, my everything. I’m so grateful God sent him to me and getting him was the best thing that ever happened to me. I could never thank God enough for the blessing and gift that He gave me when He gave him to me. I prayed for Him to send me someone to love me and He did: pure selfless unconditional love.