Actual retarded questions asked around the world about Canada.(Thanx to Mark for the e-mail)

> DUH
>
> Now that Vancouver
>                         is hosting the 2010 WinterOlympics,
> these are some
>                         questions people from all over the
> world are
>                         asking.
>
> Believe it or not these questions
>                         about Canada were
> posted on an International Tourism
>                         Website.
>
> Obviously the answers are
>                         a joke; but the questions were really
>                         asked!
>
>
> Q: I have never seen it warm on
>                         Canadian TV, so how do the plants
> grow? ( England )
> A. We import all plants fully
>                         grown and then just sit around and
> watch them
>                         die.
>
> Q: Will I be able to
>                         see Polar Bears in the street? (
> USA )
> A: Depends on
>                         how much you’ve been
> drinking.
>
> Q: I want to walk
>                         from Vancouver to   Toronto –
> can I follow the
>                         Railroad tracks? ( Sweden
> )
> A: Sure, it’s
>                         only Four thousand miles, take lots
> of
>                         water.
>
> Q: Is it safe to run around in the
>                         bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden
> )
> A: So it’s true what they say
>                         about Swedes.
>
> Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash
>                         machines) in Canada ?  Can you
> send me a list of
>                         them in Toronto , Vancouver ,
>   Edmonton and
>                         Halifax ? ( England )
> A: No, but you’d better bring a
>                         few extra furs for trading
> purposes.
>
> Q: Can you give me some information
>                         about hippo racing in Canada ? (
> USA )
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle
>                         shaped continent south of Europe
>   Ca-na-da is that
>                         big country to your North…oh
> forget it. Sure, the
>                         hippo racing is every Tuesday night
> in Calgary
>                          Come naked.
>
> Q: Which direction is North in Canada
>                         ? ( USA )
> A: Face
>                         south and then turn 180 degrees
> Contact us when you get
>                         here and we’ll send the rest of the
>                         directions.
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into
>                         Canada ? ( England )
> A: Why? Just use your fingers
>                         like we do.
>
> Q:
>                         Can you send me the Vienna
> Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA
>                         )
> A: Aus-t ri-a is
>                         that quaint little country
> bordering Ger-man-y, which
>                         is…oh forget it.  Sure, the
> Vienna Boys Choir
>                         plays every Tuesday night in
> Vancouver and in
>                         Calgary , straight after the hippo
> races. Come
>                         naked.
>
> Q: Do
>                         you have perfume in Canada ? (
> Germany )
> A: No, WE don’t
>                         stink.
>
>  Q: I have
>                         developed a new product that is the
> fountain of youth.
>                          Where can I sell it in Canada
>                         ? ( USA
>                         )
> A: Anywhere
>                         significant numbers of Americans
> gather.
>
>  Q: Can you tell me
>                         the regions in British Columbia
> where the female
>                         population is smaller than
>                         the male population? ( Italy
> )
> A: Yes, gay
>                         nightclubs.
>
>  Q: Do you
>                         celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ?
> ( USA )
> A: Only at
>                         Thanksgiving.
>
> Q: Are there supermarkets in
>                         Toronto and is milk available all
> year
>                         round? ( Germany )
> A: No, we are a peaceful
>                         civilization of Vegan
> hunter/gathers. Milk is
>                         illegal.
>
> Q:
>                         I have a question
>                         about a famous animal in Canada ,
> but I forget its name.
>                         It’s a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA
>                         )
> A: It’s called a
>                         Moose. They are tall and very
> violent, eating the brains
>                         of anyone walking close to them. You can
>                         scare them off by spraying yourself
> with human urine
>                         before you go out walking.
>
>  Q: Will I be able
>                         to speak English most places I go?
> ( USA )
> A: Yes, but
>                         you will have to learn it
> first.

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