Best and worst.

BEST/WORST:

Country to live in: Australia/ Congo

music: Blues/ Country

drink: Diet Pepsi/ beer

clothing: funky/ sleazy and revealing “slut” clothes

food: pizza/ liver

book: Bible/ Wuthering heights(boring!)

person: Jesus/ Hitler

colour: purple/ diarrhea green

TV show: The Wonder years(from the 1980’s)/ The Simpsons

Actor: Tommy Lee Jones/ Hugh Grant(his face just bugs me!)

actress: Meryl Streep/ Jennifer Aniston

dog: Pug/ Bedlington Terrier

snack: chips/ veggies

school subject: Social Studies/ math!!

car: Jaguar/ jalopy

city I’ve been to: Positano, Amalfi coast, Italy/ Tijuana, Mexico

airline: KLM/ Air Canada

vacation spot: Hawaii/ Iraq

celeb: Heidi Klum/ Madonna

singer: Sinead O’ Connor/ Bob Dylan

movie: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off/ O, Brother, where art thou?

classic novel: Little Women/ Iliad

candy: McIntosh taffy/ these gross things my uncle loved to eat but I don’t remember the name; I think they were called “Allsorts” or something like that.

chocolate bar: Wig-Wag/ coffee crisp

tree: palm tree/ Charlie Brown-type tree

juice: mango/ clamato

chips: sour cream + onion/ salt and vinegar

ethnic food: Indian/ English

zoo animal: hippo/ llama

bird: cardinal/ crow

flower: lilac/ poppy

ice cream: Tiger-tail/ strawberry

song: Eyes without a face/ anything country

cereal: Quaker Harvest Crunch/ Shredded Wheats

meat: chicken/ fish

pizza: mushroom and green pepper/ olives and anchovies

fruit: apricot/ prunes

holidays: Christmas/ halloween

weather: snow/ rain

sexiest: Brad Pitt/ Yzma

medicine: orange Triaminic/ Buckleys(tastes like a combination of pee, ammonia, Pine Sol, battery acid, Vapo Rub, and varsol!!)

pie: pumpkin/ mincemeat

shoes: checkered shoes from California/ ugly-ass old lady shoes

body part: eyes or lips/ feet

vegetable: mushroom/ Brussels sprouts

smell: lilac/ fart(esp. my husband’s!! They reek!)

former teacher: Mr. Brennan/ Miss Robinson

friend: Ina/ Julie

adult friend: Dorothy/ ?

sandwich: chicken with mayonnaise and stuffing/ feta cheese with olives

salad: Tabouleh/ all others

comedian: Steven Wright/ Andrew Dice Clay

sport: gymnastics/ hockey

cat: Tabby/ Calico

mixed-breed: Shih-Poo/ Labradoodle

sound: buzzing wires/ barking

magazine: Star/ Cosmopolitan

insect: grasshopper/ earwig

egg: Western omelet/ raw

outdoor animal: chipmunk/ raccoon

vacation: cruise/ camping in tent

politics: conservative/ fascist

milkshake: chocolate/ strawberry

symbol: Cross/ swastika

names: exotic( eg. “Cree”, “Lilokai”)/ old-fashioned(eg. “Emily” “Prudence”)

comedy: Three Stooges/ Gilbert Godfried(his voice grates on my nerves!)

movie genre: romantic comedy or comedy/ porno

cookie: Dad’s oatmeal or  fruit cremes peakfrean/ raisin

peanut butter: extra smoothie/ crunchy

bread: rye/ pumpernickel(tastes like cigarette butts!)

chair: beanbag/ stool

instrument: piano or violin/ banjo

author: Beverly Lewis/ any New-Age

group: pro-life/ Planned Parenthood and environmental groups(eg. PETA, Greenpeace)

design: Tye-dye/ Paisley

fabric: velvet/ wool(I’m allergic!)

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