My Adventure.

Screen Shot 12-16-17 at 07.33 AM 001 I had quite the adventure yesterday! First of all, my hubby and I spent the day in Kingston before I had my CT scan so we spent the day of it. First of all I went to a marijuana dispensary on the Mohawk reserve as they sold the stuff for cheaper than my usual medical supplier plus they also sell edibles that I can’t order online  and receive thru the mail, and this way also saves shipping costs and there’s no tax. There’s also no worry about the cops raiding the place as being on the Native reservation and territory it’s like Sovereign land, sort of like an embassy so they can’t bust it. Here’s a photo I took of this incredibly massive joint they had a draw for; I mean, this sucker is huge and easily worth hundreds of $$$$$. I just had to take a picture of it I was just so impressed. I mean, I really need this in my life. Can you just imagine the Magical Mystery Tour you’d take after smoking on this? In any case, I ended up buying my usual cannabis oil, plus 2 grams of weed , a special brownie and a couple of chocolates.

The next stop was the mall, where for our anniversary(which is today) gift my hubby got me an Ugly Christmas sweater that said Merry Go F*ck Yourself! and I also bought a cool purple sequin backpack and a wall plaque that said Love me, love my and had a silohette of a Dachshund, so perfect for me and 50% off,too! Then we ate at Popeye’s where I’ve never been to before but I wanted to try as I’d seen their commercial on TV for their popcorn chicken and it looked good…..but ended up to be an utter and total disappointment; it wasn’t even spicy at all and, in fact, didn’t even have any flavour whatsoever; even KFC has more “spice”; the napkin would have been just as “tasty”; it was so bland it was like British food and it just totally turned me off I couldn’t even eat it so I had no dinner and was royally pissed-off and now puts Popeye’s in the same designation of shitty places along with the likes of Denny’s and A&W that I’d rather starve than eat there ever again. I also kept feeling hot, sweaty and like I was going to faint several times during the day too as well as really thirsty and dehydrated and had to sit down and rest.

Then it was time to see the new Star Wars movie my hubby pre-ordered tickets online for expecting a sell-out crowd even though hardly anyone was even there, but this cinema was amazing, not like the one here in town; the screen was enormous and the seats were black leather fluffy recliners, and it was a good movie except it started 20 minutes late… so many stupid commercials, ads, and movie previews….so it ran late, which made us run late for my CT scan, and the movie still wasn’t over yet and it was just 15 minutes until my app’t which was still 20 minutes away and we were having this fierce blizzard…..so just our luck, we had to leave early, before the end of the movie, and we hit every single red light along the way too and I just barely made it on time for my scan and then driving home we got caught on the highway in these terrifying snow squalls where it just went pure white and you just couldn’t see anything and were basically driving blind and just hoping and praying for the best and couldn’t even see the cars in front of you, my God it was so scary and I remember praying, convinced we were going to be killed in a car crash, Dear God, if I get killed here on this road tonight please at least let it be quick …. They said I should get the results in a about a week.

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Crappy New Year!

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I heard a song on the radio I could have sworn said have a crappy New Year! but then realized it must have been have a Happy New Year but it was so funny I re-named it and so now my greeting for 2018 will be, jokingly, Have a Crappy New Year! Knowing me and my life I probably will,too.

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The 16 YR old was also trying to wrap one of Buddy’s Christmas gifts ( a squeaky ball) right in front of him which I warned her ahead of time would be a bad idea as he’d sniff it out and sure enough he did and he went for it, snatching it out of her hands and when she tried to get it back he was having none of it and he growled over it protectively, knowing it was his and he wasn’t giving it back, no way, no how…touch it and die…

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One of my Jewish friends put up photos of his Christmas tree on Facebook as well and when I replied, What is that, a Hanukkah bush? he laughed and goes, Jews like trees too!

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I heard this car ad on TV and they said how it’s the perfect Christmas gift as it already comes assembled and I was thinking, What the f*ck,man? Imagine having to assemble a car? and I thought trying to assemble IKEA furniture was bad enough… and I’ll still never forget that time when I was about 20 when my mother and I spent an entire weekend trying to assemble a bookcase and it ended up upside-down and backwards.

HippoXMasTree We finally got the snow we never got last time so it’s finally starting to look like Christmas,we’re to get 10-20 cm,  and I heard on the radio that Wal-Mart sells “marijuana” Christmas trees; artificial trees that resemble the cannabis plant. That’s just so hilarious and so perfect for me. I’m going to have to check it out and see if they really do next time I’m in Wal-Mart. It will be the perfect decor for my room!

HippoXMas My mother saw her doctor as well and gave everyone in the office and at the lab baked goodies for the holidays because she’s always trying to buy people’s affection, to get them to like her, to gain favour, to be their fave. patient and such, and it was funny too how she’d labelled them so no one here at home would eat any, Do not eat! For lab Mon” and I thought she was doing the Jamaican thing, “for the lab, ‘Mon” but she meant “for the lab on Monday” but it cracked me up just the same. My hubby and I also pre-ordered tickets online for the new Star Wars  movie on Friday as we’ll be in Kingston anyway for my CT scan to see if I fractured my skull or have a slow brain bleed from when I fainted and fell and hit my head and I guess it’ll be our anniversary date which is the next day. I can’t believe it’s been 29 years. I’ve wasted more than half my life away.

Ruby Tuesday.

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The Rolling Stones Lyrics

“Ruby Tuesday”

She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don’t matter if it’s gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows
She comes and goes
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I’m gonna miss you…
Don’t question why she needs to be so free
She’ll tell you it’s the only way to be
She just can’t be chained
To a life where nothing’s gained
And nothing’s lost
At such a cost
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I’m gonna miss you…
There’s no time to lose, I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind.
Ain’t life unkind?
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I’m gonna miss you… [x2

Buddy The Elf.

Screen Shot 11-25-17 at 10.00 AM Here is Buddy the elf, my little Christmas elf. The 16 YR old bought Buddy this cute little Christmas elf sweater the other day at one of those pet stores and here he is. He looks less than pleased but he’ll be grateful for it when it’s cold and he’s out for his walk. Now he has 3 warm winter sweaters to keep warm: this one, his brown argyle one, and his orange knit one. The 16 YR old also sewed him this really gay pink and white fluffy coat and frilly pink ballet tutu but there’s no way he’s going out in public looking like that. I mean, he does have some standards.

Screen Shot 11-25-17 at 06.47 PM I also made these Keep Calm things, and I tried my new cannabis oil which is a new strain they just released and it’s 30% THC ( my old one was 10%) and I’m dumb and can’t do math( it’s legendary how much of a math reject I am) and I couldn’t tell the difference between the dosage in the dropper of 0.1 ml and 1.0 ml; I thought it was the same thing, just two ways of writing 1 ml, so I took 1 ml….my hubby then informed me that they’re not the same, but,in fact, are waaay different, and that 0.1 is actually one tenth of 1.0 ml , so I ended up taking ten times the dose I was supposed to……holy shit….. that would explain why I can’t remember most of the day yesterday and it was a big blank, like a big back hole I can’t account for, like when my mother and I in the livingroom watching that movie The Dark Tower and all I could remember was the kid going thru a portal and meeting up with this gunslinger….and then before I know it, it’s the end and it’s over and my mother was saying how it was a good movie and I’m like Wow….that was sure a short movie…. and then she was making references to it such as …. and they got all the kids back ok…. so then I’m there, confused, What kids? I don’t remember any kids….. so apparantly I must have fallen asleep and slept thru most of the movie because all I saw was the beginning and then woke up just at the very end. Most of the day was like that.

I also noticed after weed that I can’t spell properly as it “jumbles” my brain and slows down my thought processes and when I’m typing I have to always go back and re-correct what I’ve written but it also makes me smarter,too, as they’ve changed the format now on my iPod with the most recent update and for days I couldn’t figure out how to upload my new songs I’d downloaded but after weed I got a brand new idea flash in my head; another way around it…..and it worked! It opens my mind and helps me to see things in a different way, from another perspective, and we also have new neighbours that moved in next door; a couple and their 4 kids and they told us that the boys have been peeking in the 16 YR old’s window….so now she has to get different curtains; the ones she has now are sheer. people are such perverts!

 

 

The Fight.

Screen Shot 11-15-17 at 06.20 PM There was a big fight at our house yesterday. My mother had accused the 23 YR old and his GF of not washing their dishes during the night and leaving them in the sink and told them it’s time they moved out and found a place on their own and he said it’s the 16 YR old’s job to wash them as doing dishes is her chore that she gets paid allowance to do but my mother and hubby  said she doesn’t do them all night and if they’re up all night and use dishes then they have to wash their own. The 16 YR old said she saw his GF washing her dishes, and she was hurt to be falsely accused and I can understand that; I’m always being wrongly accused and blamed and faulted for everything all the time and I hate it and I’m sick of it. She got really upset and then my mother just blows it off( like she always does when she’s mean and hurts people, deflecting the blame away from herself) If she gets this upset just being told to do dishes I’d hate to think how upset she’d be if I actually said something mean and I told her maybe she’s sensitive( like I am; I’ve been criticized, put down, bullied, and picked on so much in my life now any criticism, even the smallest thing, shatters me) and she still felt hurt by it, no one likes to be wrongly accused of something they didn’t do, and she(my mother) should stop being so mean to people. As for the dishes, all I know is when I wake up in the mornings is that I can never find utensils or cups for breakfast but I have no idea who‘s leaving the dirty dishes out all night and not washing them.

The 23 YR old also told my mother that she made his GF feel unwelcome and that it made her really upset and that’s just so sad and it made me feel badly even though I had nothing to do with it, and I know how it feels though; I’m always made to feel unwelcome and like I don’t belong in this family, like an outsider, an unwelcome houseguest, a burden, like I don’t fit in or belong, like I’m not welcomed, so I know how she feels,and my mother does have a habit of being nasty and mean and saying hurtful things and making people feel like shit even though she always denies it and never owns it, accepts blame or takes responsibility and always says it’s someone else’s fault, never hers,and when I added, You always make me feel unwelcome,too! she snorted, But you’re still here! (yeah, only because I have no $$$$ and nowhere else to go!) and she told the 23 YR old to tell his GF that she didn’t mean to get her upset( yet only after everyone said how mean it was) and I told her, You’re the one that made her upset; it’s up to you to apologize to her yourself!  She really is a piece of work and she just doesn’t get it.

Later on I was also trying to put my food in the microwave and she just literally swoops in, right in front of me,butting-in, and takes it to heat up her stuff , stealing it right out from under me, and then when I got mad she snickered, You can wait! and then says I’m  mean to her when I called her out on it! She always acts like she’s the “victim” even though she starts it but never accepts she’s the problem and to blame.

Also, the 23 YR old asked me why I was listening to a Skillrex and Damian Marley song as he alluded to that Skillrex isn’t a very nice person but I have no idea whether he’s a nice person or he’s not; I just like the song, and in parting I will leave you with this:

There’s a lid for every pot, even the cracked ones.

Das Ist Sehr Kalt!

Screen Shot 11-10-17 at 08.34 AM OMG, it’s just so cold! This morning it was – 10 C with a wind-chill of – 19 C! The wind was sooo bad it was the kind that freezes your face off, reminding me of that song, I Can’t Feel My Face. Buddy would have none of it, when I took him out for his walk he quickly did what he had to do and then yanked on the lead pulling me quickly back inside into the house! I didn’t want to get out of my nice, warm, cozy bed. Winter hasn’t even started yet and already I’m dreading it and can’t wait for it to be over,and I fear it’s going to be a really bad one this year,too, with frigid cold temps and lots of snow as it was mild with not much snow last year and it always seem to alternate; a mild winter followed by a bad one and summers are the same way; a cooler summer followed by a hot one, and if we have a mild winter we have a not-too-hot summer, and if we have a bad winter we have a scorching summer,and it seems to alternate every second year, so we’re due for one this winter. Uh, oh, look out…

“Aunt Flow” also came, finally, 9 days late,and the abdomenal pain and cramps are really bad, so bad, they’re off the charts, the kind of pain that’s so bad it makes your toes curl and you can barely even stand up. The flow is unusual though; a thick tarry-black colour and consistancy instead of the usual gushing bright red so maybe, hopefully, this will be my last one and I’ll be going into menopause( I will be 51 in just 2 more months,afterall; it should have stopped by now,and my BFF’s stopped when she was 49) and won’t have it anymore, but likely with my luck tomorrow it’ll be back to it’s usual near-hemmoraging…

Whenever I hear a Tom Petty song I also say a prayer for his soul(I still can’t believe he’s gone),I found out by accident, and much to my surprise, that our oven mitts are flammable; it caught on the broiler and  a flame appeared which I quickly blew out but now there’s this big scorch mark on it and stinks so bad, and I heard the 14 YR old whisper(about me) to the 16 YR old, Look at her hair! and then the 2 of them looked at me and she whispered something else to her and they both giggled and then later on she said the same thing to my hubby too and they both laughed, making me feel like I did back in school when the bullies made fun of me, making me feel like a constant  scapegoat, an eternal victim, like I have a permanent target painted on my back, a life-long punching bag, and I can still hear (and feel) the echos of their taunts, insults,and ridicule in my mind as I walk by,too, Ewww, look at how ugly she is! Hey, dog, dog, dog, ugly….Frankenstein-Face…you must be a lez because you’re so ugly…..yet I also still smile in victory thinking about the time a bully told me to Suck me off! and I replied, There’s nothing there to suck! and his friends laughed at him and he got really mad and started calling me, whore, slut,skuz, douche-bag, c*nt…. but I had stood up for myself and put him in his place and it sure felt good. I had thought the bullying would have ended although it didn’t and at least back then I could come home and it was my safe place, my refuge, my sanctuary; I was safe there and they couldn’t hurt me, but now it’s my own family mocking me so I can’t even get away from it.

 

Medicate.

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“Rx” lyrics

Theory Of A Deadman Lyrics

“Rx”

Wake up to a cloudy day
Dark rolls in and it starts to rain
Staring out to the cage-like walls
Time goes by and the shadows crawl
Crushin’ candy crushin’ pills
Got no job, mom pays my bills
Textin’ ex’s get my fill
Sweatin’ bullets, Netflix-chills
World’s out there singin’ the blues
Twenty more dead on the evening news
Think to myself “really, what’s the use?”
I’m just like you, I was born to lose

Why oh why can’t you just fix me?
When all I want’s to feel numb
But the medication’s all done
Why oh why does God hate me?
When all I want’s to get high
And forget this so-called life

I am so frickin’ bored
Nothin’ to do today
I guess I’ll sit around and medicate (medicate)
I am so frickin’ bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I’ll sit around and medicate (medicate)

Can’t wait to feel better than I ever will
Attack that shit like a kid on Benadryl
Chase it down with a hopeful smile
Hate myself, if I can go for miles
They say family’s all you need
Someone to trust can help you breathe
Inhale that drug, but you start to choke
You follow the outs of an inside joke

Why oh why can’t you just fix me?
When all I want’s to feel numb
But the medication’s all done
Why oh why does God hate me?
Cause I’ve seen enough of it, heard enough of it, felt enough of it
Had enough of it!

I am so frickin’ bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I’ll sit around and medicate (medicate)
I am so frickin’ bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I’ll sit around and medicate

Medicate
Medicate
Medicate
Medicate

Superman is a hero
But only when his mind is clear though
He needs that fix like the rest of us
So he’s got no fear when he saves that bus
All the stars in the Hollywood Hills
Snapchat live while they pop them pills
All those flavors of the rainbow
Too bad that shit don’t work though

Your friends are high right now
Your parents are high right now
That hot chick’s high right now
That cop is high right now
The president’s high right now
Your priest is high right now
Everyone’s high as fuck right now
And no one’s ever coming down

I am so frickin’ bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I’ll sit around and medicate (medicate)
I am so frickin’ bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I’ll sit around and medicate

Medicate
Medicate
Medicate
Medicate

I medicate