F*ckin’ COLD!!

Screen Shot 12-14-17 at 07.47 AM It’s f*ckin’ COLD out! It’s so frigid cold you can’t feel your face or anything else! When Buddy went out for his morning walk he didn’t even want to go pee; he just stood there stubbornly in refusal, trembling and shaking, and he was limping along and then collapsed as his feet were just so frozen cold. He eventually did go pee and then I scooped him up under my arm and carried him back inside so he wouldn’t have to walk on the cold snow any longer. When he got inside he quickly burrowed deep under his warm “nest” of blankets and hibernated and I tossed my heated blanket on top of him as well to quickly defrost him and warm him up, my poor boy. I said it must easily have been the coldest day of the year so far and my hubby said no, January or February of this year must have been colder, but no, I even heard on the news it is the coldest day of the entire year so far, even colder than any day this past January or February, so I win. I wish I could hibernate until spring, on a beach in the Caribbean! I’m done with this cold winter shit already.

As well, when I was in the kitchen preparing a meal I all of a sudden felt faint, like I was going to pass out, only this time at least I had a “warning” like I usually get; I had that creepy weird restless feeling plus I started to see the flashing lights warning me I have mere seconds to quickly sit down before I pass out and go down hard, so I sat down for a few minutes until it passed and then resumed my activities but it just all of a sudden came out of nowhere suddenly without any warning leading up to it; I didn’t feel sick or dizzy or anything, and then it was fine although now the abdomenal pain is back again and my stomach feels uneasy. That’s one of my biggest concerns lately if I’m out someone alone, like, say, at church, or even worse; on the way walking to church or back by myself; what if I faint again and no one’s there to help me, or even worse; they rob me or something while I’m passed-out laying there on the ground, or even on the road and I get run over by a car? I was fortunate last time it happened in the kitchen and people were home but next time I might not be so lucky…

 

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The PenguinHawkEagleOwl Sparrow Hawk.

Screen Shot 12-13-17 at 06.18 PM When Buddy was outside going pee I noticed a bird of prey hiding under a bush in our yard watching him, stalking him as prey,and then it flew up on top of the fence to get a better vantage point so I quickly brought him inside and noticed the bird waited there afterwards for hours, waiting for him to return and it scares the shit out of me. I know some of these things have even swooped down and scooped up human babies and carried them off so hunting a small dog isn’t unheard of. At first I thought I was just seeing things, hallucinating, because I’d had my weed although I was pretty sure that I wasn’t and that it really was real.

At first my automatic reaction was to just freeze in fear but then instinct quickly took over and I rushed Buddy quickly back indoors, and he was completely unaware of the danger lurking just steps away from him, and then later my mother, hubby,and a couple of the kids looked out the window and also saw the bird as well so I knew it wasn’t just me and that it really was there. At first I thought it was a hawk, that it looked kind of brown although I didn’t really get a good look at it and I was kind of freaked out and worried about Buddy, so I went back later for a closer look and I thought it was a penguin as it was the right size and shape but that just didn’t seem right( I was on weed, remember) and then thought perhaps an eagle as closer inspection I could see it was a greyish-brown on top and white on the bottom, but then when I got really up close to try to take a photo( which I never got as it flew away) I could also see spots on the back of it’s head and upper neck and white “fanning” tail feathers along with 3 long ones sticking out, leading me to think that perhaps it might be some sort of owl but when I did a Google search describing it and images began to show up I was able to match it to the sparrow hawk. So it is a hawk,afterall. I was right from the beginning. I’m just glad that I saw it and noticed that it was there and that Buddy wasn’t out alone in the yard for example, or it could have gotten him and I’d never know until it was too late. I don’t even want to think about that.

It’s also really freezing cold out, – 16 C with wind-chill of – 25 C, and my medical marijuana group is having a Christmas potluck dinner and I wonder what kind of desserts they’ll have there, like maybe some special brownies or something? I bet that’s going to be one interesting party but with my social phobia I don’t like to go to parties or socialize and I feel really awkward and uncomfortable around all those people I don’t know and I never know what to say and my anxiety level goes thru the roof and I get panic attacks so I just end up staying home. My hubby and some of the kids also have a Christmas brunch at a country club this weekend one of his brothers works at. It sounds nice, but then again, too many people and crowds make me feel uneasy.

Winter Wonderland.

Screen Shot 12-12-17 at 06.30 PM It snowed last night! I could hardly wait to go out and walk in the snow but Buddy….not so much. When he went out for his early morning walk and saw it he just stood there, frozen and stiff, unmoving,immobile, refusing to budge, as if the poor dog was thinking What the f*ck just happened? This wasn’t here yesterday! What the hell? He hates snow and he didn’t even want to pee but pulled me right back inside so I ended up taking him out onto the road(in-between cars) to go pee quickly as it was the only spot that was plowed clear and him being a low-rider, the snow was deeper than he was tall! Then later on I shovelled him a little pathway he can use. At least now it puts me in the Christmas spirit though and looks like the Christmas season at long last finally.

When the 10 year old was asked what he wants for Christmas he also replied, Pizza from Pizza Hut, and put some $$$$ into the bank for my future. I swear, that kid’s even smarter than I thought! I always knew he was a genius, but what 10 year old thinks that far ahead and asks for something like that? My abdomenal pain’s really bad today as well and I kept getting woken up during the night with a bad cough,too, and next week my hubby and some of the kids are going away on a road trip for part of Christmas Break which also gives me a week of peace and quiet and a break as well.

Crappy New Year!

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I heard a song on the radio I could have sworn said have a crappy New Year! but then realized it must have been have a Happy New Year but it was so funny I re-named it and so now my greeting for 2018 will be, jokingly, Have a Crappy New Year! Knowing me and my life I probably will,too.

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The 16 YR old was also trying to wrap one of Buddy’s Christmas gifts ( a squeaky ball) right in front of him which I warned her ahead of time would be a bad idea as he’d sniff it out and sure enough he did and he went for it, snatching it out of her hands and when she tried to get it back he was having none of it and he growled over it protectively, knowing it was his and he wasn’t giving it back, no way, no how…touch it and die…

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One of my Jewish friends put up photos of his Christmas tree on Facebook as well and when I replied, What is that, a Hanukkah bush? he laughed and goes, Jews like trees too!

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I heard this car ad on TV and they said how it’s the perfect Christmas gift as it already comes assembled and I was thinking, What the f*ck,man? Imagine having to assemble a car? and I thought trying to assemble IKEA furniture was bad enough… and I’ll still never forget that time when I was about 20 when my mother and I spent an entire weekend trying to assemble a bookcase and it ended up upside-down and backwards.

HippoXMasTree We finally got the snow we never got last time so it’s finally starting to look like Christmas,we’re to get 10-20 cm,  and I heard on the radio that Wal-Mart sells “marijuana” Christmas trees; artificial trees that resemble the cannabis plant. That’s just so hilarious and so perfect for me. I’m going to have to check it out and see if they really do next time I’m in Wal-Mart. It will be the perfect decor for my room!

HippoXMas My mother saw her doctor as well and gave everyone in the office and at the lab baked goodies for the holidays because she’s always trying to buy people’s affection, to get them to like her, to gain favour, to be their fave. patient and such, and it was funny too how she’d labelled them so no one here at home would eat any, Do not eat! For lab Mon” and I thought she was doing the Jamaican thing, “for the lab, ‘Mon” but she meant “for the lab on Monday” but it cracked me up just the same. My hubby and I also pre-ordered tickets online for the new Star Wars  movie on Friday as we’ll be in Kingston anyway for my CT scan to see if I fractured my skull or have a slow brain bleed from when I fainted and fell and hit my head and I guess it’ll be our anniversary date which is the next day. I can’t believe it’s been 29 years. I’ve wasted more than half my life away.

The Shoulder, The Wrist, The Chest, And The Toe.

Screen Shot 12-08-17 at 06.25 PM Reading the title for this post reminds me of one of those jokes…. The shoulder, the wrist, the chest,and  the toe walk into a bar…. but actually the shoulder, the wrist,the chest,and the toe walked into the hospital…last night my hubby and the 16 YR old both went to the ER together; a joint adventure, which we’ve been having lots of lately; we should get a family discount rate! My hubby’s had a really sore shoulder for a week now and despite putting heat on it he can’t sleep with the pain so he finally decided to get it checked and it’s a pulled muscle like we figured although he has no idea how he did it, but they gave him a pain shot in the arse(likely Tramadol or something) which helped. The 16 YR old also went for her sore wrist and chest pains she’s been getting at night. It turns out that the wrist is just from over-use at cheerleading and the chest pain is- get this- just indigestion from eating too much spicy food so she has to lay off the curry and sriracha, at least right before bed, and the 21 YR old said just the day before she comes up here to visit us over Christmas break she has to have surgery on her toe,too! We’re all like broken down old jalopies that need an over haul!

As well, we’re supposed to get 5-10 cm of snow, our first real snowfall; before it was just a light dusting that quickly melted later that same day, but at least it’s nice for the Christmas season though and so far I haven’t really felt “Christmas-y” yet, maybe because we don’t have any snow yet, and because we don’t have any lights up on our house this year, I don’t know; I’m just not feeling it. Buddy also started to open up a gift under the tree by shoving his head thru it and making a hole; he smelled there was a stuffed toy in there and wanted to get at it. I also remember Patti telling me about a Christmas morning at her son’s he was the first one up and he’d unwrapped all of his toys from under the tree before anyone got up and when they got up he was playing there quietly with his gifts, wrappers strewn all over the floor, but he’d only opened his toys(I guess he identified by the scent?) and had left all the others. Now that’s one smart(and funny!) dog!

I saw on my Facebook hippo lovers group as well someone described us as hippophiles and it made me laugh at first as it sounds like pedophiles, and I envisioned people being sexually attracted to hippos and it made me laugh my ass off, and I Googled the term before I actually used it myself, to check it’s authenticity(because I just don’t automatically believe something I read online, duh!) and it’s a good thing that I did because it doesn’t mean what you’d think it would,and,in fact, has nothing at all to even do with hippos; it actually means someone who loves horsesYou learn something new every day. So then it got me thinking, What is the “official” term for hippo lovers, anyway? Is there even one?

I got my referral to the cardiologist for early February as well which is pretty good to get to see a specialist in just 2 months; usually it’s 6-12 months I’ve had to wait before, and sometimes even longer, so as long as I don’t die of a heart-attack by then…and I figure the best thing that I could do for my family would be to remove myself from their lives since they hate me anyway and think I’m a burden, annoying, the cause of all problems, the fault of everything, and they don’t want me around or part of the family anyway, plus they mistreat and demean me too and I’m beyond miserable, so if I do die soon it would be doing them a favour and they’d actually be better off and I’d be happy, free, and in a better place too so everyone would get what they want and be happier. A win-win situation for everyone. Hey, God, did you hear that?…hint, hint…

 

 

 

Person Of The Year.

Screen Shot 12-06-17 at 06.29 PM I agree: Time Magazine  Person Of The Year: should be Fiona the Hippo! Also along those lines here are my other choices for other worthy and notable distinctions of the year:

Asshole Of The Year:  Donald Trump

Amazing Pet Of The Year: Buddy Humperdinck

Story Of The Year: Exposure of perverts in Hollywood scandal

Disaster Of The Year: Hurricane in Puerto Rico

Best Item I Bought Of The Year: Either tie-dye socks or peach/mango Charmed Aroma bath bomb

My Most Memorable Event Of The Year: When I fainted and hit my head

Musician Of The Year: Tom Petty

Funniest Event Of The Year: When Buddy ate all the pepperoni off the pizza but left the rest behind

Worst Event Of The Year: The 14 YR old’s eating disorder,etc.

Best Thing I Did Of The Year: My solo trip to Cuba

Saddest Event Of The Year: When my Facebook friend died of cancer

Song Of The Year: Despacito by Luis Fonsi

Biggest Surprise Of The Year: I lost 50 pounds without even trying! (but I’m glad!)

Biggest Disappointment Of The Year: I’m still here and haven’t died yet

Indulgence Of The Year: Getting my nails done at the salon

TV Show Of The Year: The Blacklist

Best Gift Of The Year: My purple Converse hi-tops

Movie Of The Year: La La Land

Medical Procedure Of The Year: Colonoscopy

Sell-Out.

Screen Shot 12-01-17 at 06.51 PM I was disappointed to hear that Pope Francis didn’t use the term Rohingya (a persecuted Muslim minority in Myanmar who are victims of genocide) when he was in Myanmar recently as he was afraid that it would “offend” his hosts, even though speaking out against injustice and oppression is the right thing to do and what Jesus would have done; He wouldn’t have cared if people were offended; He wouldn’t hesitate to give a voice to the voiceless, to defend those that are being discriminated against and abused,to stand up for justice and human rights. I was very let down to see that the Pope sold-out and was more concerned about what people would think rather than doing what’s right, what a spiritual leader should do, what Jesus would do. It was nice to see him meet with Rohingya later in Bangladesh, but it would have held alot more significance if he had acknowledged and spoken out against their mistreatment in Myanmar. Take a stand.

Screen Shot 12-01-17 at 06.52 PM It was good news though to hear about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s engagement. When it seems lately all we hear is bad news it’s good to hear some happy news for once, and it’s also nice to see the Royals being more progressive and accepting as well. It was something like 70-80 years ago that an heir to the throne had to abdicate to marry the woman he loved as the Royal family didn’t approve or allow him to marry her as she was an American and divorced….the same as Meghan, who also happens to be half Black as well, which years ago would have been an issue( even though it shouldn’t be) so it’s good to see that they’ve learned and are now letting them marry  whoever they love, regardless of their nationality, race, or past marital status. I always thought Prince Charles should have been allowed to marry Camilla first time around too as she was the one he really loved, and it would have saved poor Diana all that heartache and mistreatment she endured. It ruined her life.

Funny as well: I was waking up, still half-asleep when I heard an ad on the radio for a car place and they said We service all makes and models but I thought I’d heard it as We service all naked models.