Anti-Christ?

Screen Shot 08-19-17 at 08.25 AM 001 With US President Trump acting like he’s an emperor, defending white supremacists, supporting Confederate symbols(which symbolize hate, racism, slavery,and oppression) and hating Muslims, Mexicans, immigrants, etc. and almost provoking a nuclear war with North Korea it got me wondering: I wonder if he maybe made a deal with the Devil and that’s how he got elected, against all odds, and that he’s perhaps even the Anti-Christ? He’s certainly causing enough division, strife, hate,political unrest, and chaos, the exact thing that delights Satan, so perhaps he really is one of his minions, that he really did sell his soul to the devil? It really wouldn’t surprise me, esp. since I heard people that knew him previously said that he wasn’t like that before and that this isn’t the person they once knew…. absolute power corrupts absolutely…. how much more will this dickhead have to possibly do before they finally impeach him? Everyone’s also either quitting or getting fired left, right,and centre that works for him and it’s only been a few months he’s been in office and already look at all the trouble he’s caused….

I also think I figured out where I got Princess Of The Peacock Dynasty from: perhaps it’s my Heavenly name, and I am a child of God, a daughter of the King, and the King’s daughter would be a princess! A butterfly also landed on me and it happens alot; I think I must attract them, and I finally got to see our new priest and he’s 32 and a nice-looking Italian guy, I’m hoping as well maybe I’ll die tomorrow, the day of the solar eclipse, so I can go out in style, with a bang, at a memorable date, and often lately it seems that it’s close and the Other Side is so close I can almost reach out and touch it. Yesterday on weed I also noticed as I was going into another dimension my hearing aid was picking up another frequency and I heard a high-pitched sound and started to feel “funny”, like I was floating away and Buddy could sense it too and he kept pawing at me and whining.

The 18 YR old’s BF was also hit by a car riding his bike! He didn’t have lights or reflectors on his bike and he was riding on an unlit country road at night (not exactly the smartest idea) and the car didn’t see him and hit him and knocked him off his bike and ran over his leg and broke it….he’s lucky that’s all that happened to him….hopefully now he has lights on his bike, and I hope he was wearing a helmet! Holy shit! I still remember one of the oldest’s friends when he was 12 was hit by a car riding his bike and almost died and had to be revived a couple of times. He was in really bad shape. It was horrific, and he was in the hospital a long time, but he survived, and now he’s married and has a baby!

My mother also cruelly taunted me that while I’m away all day at the Ex they’ll be having Butter chicken for dinner, my fave. food and I won’t get any, which I thought was really mean; mean to have it on a day I’m not there so I miss out when she knows it’s my fave, and then even meaner to tell me! Why did she have to go and do that for,and then to tell me, just to get me upset? Then when I did get upset and told her that was a mean thing to say and do she snarked, and if you don’t shut up about it you won’t get any next time,either! and then her and my hubby berate me for having a hissy-fit. Yup, that’s right, she’s the one being mean and purposely brings up something solely with the intention to get me mad when she never had to say anything at all yet it’s my fault for getting  upset? The 16 YR old also threatened to shave Buddy bald when I’m gone,too.  I hate my family.

I think more and more my hubby is slowly poisoning me as well. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve lost a massive amount of weight in the past 6 months ( 50 pounds!) without dieting or trying in any way, and I still continue to lose weight at an alarming rate, and I have other symptoms( I Googled it) of poisoning for months ,too, incl. seizures, abdomenal pain, headaches,diarrhrea, dizziness, extreme fatigue, liver and kidney issues, confusion(like in church today I thought the people behind me were speaking French when it was actually English and one time the 18 YR old was talking I couldn’t understand her; it sounded like jibberish) nausea,lethargy, coughing, etc… and he even said before that he was going to kill me off for my life insurance $$$$ and I don’t think he was joking,either…..so just in case I do die sometime soon, have them check for poisoning. He must be either slipping it into my Diet Pepsi or my cannabis oil, and when I confronted him about it he accused me of poisoning myself and setting him up for it, which, I can assure you, I am not. It just makes me wonder,and he does hate me and wants me gone, plus this way they’d have $$$$ to move(and get a house with one less bedroom too with me gone) and be rid of me at the same time…..so…..they’d be better off without me too and I’d also finally be free….I’d rather not be murdered though and if he is, I hope he doesn’t get away with it! Is he up to something….or has he just made me paranoid? Look what he’s done to me……  😦

 

 

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The Black Walnut Tree.

Screen Shot 08-16-17 at 08.08 PM This is the story of the black walnut tree. It’s just a little baby black walnut tree and it’s in our backyard. It’s only about 2-3 years old but I noticed that this summer it’s really getting so much bigger all of a sudden.  Now it’s almost as tall as our three storey house! It wasn’t there originally though, and we never planted it, so what I’m pretty sure happened is that one fall a squirrel must have buried a nut in the ground and forgot about it or got killed and never came back for it or whatever, and the conditions were right in the soil and it took and started to grow…and over time it just got bigger….and bigger….and bigger….

I think it’s kind of neat to watch this tree grow and progress right from the beginning, from a little tiny sapling,and in time it will bear fruit ( usually at age 4-6 years old) and will bloom and blossom into this massive gigantic tree but I don’t think I’ll ever get to see it though as I’ve always thought I’d die by 50 (and I’m just 50 this year so it’ll likely be sometime within the next few months) and even if not they’re talking about moving in the next year or two anyway, so I probably won’t get the chance to be able to see it grow into maturity. A similar experience I had before was with the peach tree we had at our first Ottawa house; the owner’s daughter had planted it and the year we moved out was the first time it bore fruit. Of course. (and our apple tree at our last Ottawa house was  knocked over and died in an ice storm the first year it bore fruit,too!)

I also saw a blog I read they put their house up for sale for a million 695, 000, and that’s American so it would probably be something like 3 million $$$ in our money with the exchange, and I heard on the news too the price for an average detached 3 bedroom house in Toronto now is over a million $$$(and they may not necessarily even have a garage or even a driveway) and you have to earn on average 200 000$ a year to be able to afford it, with an average cost of close to 5000$ a month between mortgage payments and utilities! Holy shit! Buddy and I were out the front as well and saw an argument at the Drug Den at the corner; 3 thuggish-looking young guys came running out with this really fat shirtless guy running out after them, his belly jiggling, reminding me of Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers  movies, yelling, Get outta here! and they’d keep stopping and looking back behind them,and I was worried someone would start beating up on someone or even pull out a gun or something…..maybe they ripped the drug dealer off and stole it or something, who knows….I wouldn’t be surprised if in the middle of the night there’s a drive-by shooting at his house, or a Molotov thrown thru his window, an explosion, or his house torched or something…my mother also actually saw an actual transaction the other day,too; she saw someone handing something over, exchanging something for $$$$$.

The 18 YR old’s also back from Cadets camp now and she has Strep throat,too, and she works for a couple of weeks and then she’s off to Ottawa for school, and now asshole Trump is upset that Confederate flags and statues are being taken down, saying You can’t change history,and you can’t, but you also don’t have to memorialize and commemmorate a period in history associated with hate, bigotry, discrimination, slavery, oppression, and racism, either, it would be the same as flying the Nazi flag with the swastika on it, or having a statue of Hitler; not something in history that you want to honour and glorify! I also stand up for Muslims and North Korea because no one else will and I was that kid in school that was always bullied and no one stood up for me so now I’m going to be that person.

I also wonder too if the upcoming solar eclipse might be a portent of some sort, a harbinger, of a prophecy, perhaps, such as Jesus’ return, or maybe of the Apocalypse, Judgement Day, The Tribulation, WWIII….who knows? It’s odd as well how the area it hits most seems to cut the USA right in half, along a division, and I don’t know if that’s symbolic or not, and it was 100 years ago since we had the last one like this, and it was almost 100 years ago since WWI ended…it just makes me wonder…it seems kind of eerie…. there’s also this upcoming boxing match I keep hearing about and I have no idea who it is as I don’t follow that stuff but apparantly it’s some long-time champion VS an under-dog so I automatically am rooting for the under-dog because that’s me; I’ve always been the under-dog, and because no one ever roots for the under-dog so whoever he is, I hope that he wins.

Ruined Sunflowers.

Screen Shot 08-11-17 at 11.56 AM 001 If someone were to ask you What kind of flowers are these? what would you say? They’re actually sunflowers  even though they’re not yellow! My mother picked them up when she was at the grocery store and they told her that they’ve been dyed orange and red and the leaves are purple! I was just speechless…..just ….horrified when I saw them, I mean, who the f*ck dyes flowers? I LIKE them yellow, the way they’re supposed to be, that’s what makes them look so bright, cheery, and happy! Dyeing them just ruins them! It would be like black people dyeing their skin white; they’re beautiful the way they are!

WTF?

When I first saw them I didn’t even recognize them as sunflowers, it didn’t even register in my mind what I was seeing and thought they were some type of mums or something, and then when she told me it just made me sad. It’s a travesty. When I put them in water dye got all over my hands,too, pissing me off even more. What were they thinking, to ruin beautiful sunflowers like that and why would she think that I’d like them? So now her and my hubby are acting like I’m some sort of ingrate or something because I don’t like them, but it’s just not right; they don’t look like sunflowers and have been ruined. It’s just wrong. They’re beautiful the way they are. It’s an insult to sunflowers really, to do that to them. Defaced.

As well, I got the results from my colon cancer test and everything’s ok,and I went online and got my blood test results and that’s ok too except it showed slight kidney failure, just like last time, and I still have that headache as well, now 5 days in a row, that just won’t go away no matter what,and at times my ears ache with it,too, almost as if there’s pressure or something building up in my head, and I also noticed this big bulging vein on my forehead on the left temple when I lay down,too, and it wasn’t there before, so maybe something’s going to pop or something…..oh, well…..

The therapist also criticized how I prefer to do things(and go places) on my own rather than with my family (or anyone else) but I’m just a loner and I’ve always been like that, perhaps due to my Asperger’s, and maybe also because I grew up an Only Child and was always by myself, but I just prefer to be by myself than with other people, and I find it more peaceful and less stress, with no one to bug me, and even when my hubby and I went to Hawaii together we did our own separate things; I went off on my own and swam, surfed, kayaked, snorkelled, etc. and he did his own activities and we’d just meet up for dinner, and when I go to the “Ex” I go off on my own and meet up with them at the end of the day,and even in the Caribbean my mother would usually just stay on the ship and I’d go off on my own and wander around and I really enjoyed my solo trip to Cuba where I was alone the entire time. I just prefer to be by myself. What’s so wrong with that? I hurt in life  but I hurt less if it’s just me on my own. It also doesn’t help that my family pushes me away, making me want to be alone even more.

 

Pay To Pray.

Screen Shot 08-01-17 at 08.14 PM I read an article a Jewish journalist wrote and he said that it’s expensive to be Jewish,  and that’s why He thinks many Jews are Jews in name only but not actually practicing their faith, such as going to synagogue. He said that to go to the synagogue and attend religious services you actually have to pay a membership fee, sort of like at a country club, costing into the thousands of dollars a year, and that to attend the holy days (such as Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashannah) you have to buy a ticket, at the cost of hundreds of dollars, pricing many people out. I was really surprised and never knew that. Unlike the Christian and Muslim places to worship where your monetary contribution is voluntary, and you’re not prevented from attending because you can’t afford the membership fee. I’ve never heard anything like it and I think it’s sad. I had no idea. Seems discriminatory to me.Only for those with $$$$. The Old Marxist in me is pissed-off.

I don’t think that you should have to pay to pray. In our church we’re obligated to donate 10% of our income but we’re not audited(although in the Mormon church they do; they actually audit you where once a year the bishop sits each congregation member down in his office and reviews his finances to make sure their tithing is all “up to date” and if you haven’t paid the full 10% you can’t go to the temple) or prevented from worshipping if you don’t donate or pay a certain amount. I think that’s awful. What about the devout but poor widow? or the pensioner? or the immigrant? or the single parent? or the large family? or the guy that got laid off? I’m sure that there are many devoutly religious who are being prevented from going to the temple due to financial restrictions and that only the wealthy can afford memberships at the Jewish synagogues just makes me sad and I feel badly for the others and I try to imagine how I’d feel if I’d have to pay something like 1500$ a yr to go to church and then hundreds of $$$$ extra to go to Christmas and Easter Masses? I think it should be on a voluntary basis and you give what you can afford,without being called-out on it, shamed, made to feel guilty or cheap, and to worship freely, as God loves us without price. Whatever you choose to tithe should be between you and God.

As well, I got stung by a wasp! I was just laying out in the sun, minding my own business, and the mean little f*cker just landed on my leg and stung me for no reason! Now it’s all swollen up to a big bump  the size of a hard-boiled egg so I took a Benadryl. I also saw a cute little brown rabbit hopping around the neighbour’s yard and I’ve seen them in our own backyard at times, too, just wild, we had a BBQ as well and it was Buddy’s lucky day too because my hubby accidently dropped 3 hotdogs so guess who got them, and the 18 YR old also visited from camp.

Canada 150.

Screen Shot 06-30-17 at 08.26 AM Today is Canada Day, as every 1 July, and it’s a national holiday with big celebrations everywhere only this year even more so as it’s 150 YRS since Confederation, that is, since it actually became an official united country. That’s pretty young for a country,though, esp. when you consider other places such as Greece, Rome, or Egypt. It’s so sad how this country is seriously lacking in culture and history, it’s embarrassing actually.

So there’s this big anticipation and media campaign leading up to it and everyone’s like int his fervour or frenzy or whatever you want to call it, of nationalism and patriotism which I think is never a good thing as it always creates an Us VS Them mentality and is the kind of dogma and thinking that can start wars.It kinds makes me think of North Korea and it’s “Dear Leader” idealology. Personally I’ve never gone for flag-waving and to keep hearing incessantly about it is rubbing me the wrong way,and I’m not alone: while everyone keeps jubilating saying how “wonderful” this country is, and how “lucky” we are to live here,and what a “great” country this is and the “greatest country in the world”, etc.. crap I think that the Native People would beg to differ.(as well as immigrants being treated with anti-immigrant racist sentiment, and Muslims and others being attacked for their faith,colour,or race, etc.)

For the Indigenous People, it’s nothing more than a hurtful reminder of 150 YRS of occupation, oppression, assimilation, marginalization, genocide,  and destruction of their culture, autonomy, and way of life. Before Confederation there were many various different Native tribes and they were self-governing, and enjoyed a rich culture, lived their lives according to their own laws and traditions, and lived in harmony with nature. The past 150 YRS has been nothing but injustice and suffering for the Native people and this nation has done nothing but harm, suppress, and keep down the Natives. There are Native protesters at Parliament Hill today protesting(they keep erecting teepees and the police keep tearing them down and arresting them)and to continue to call attention to their plight and ongoing treatment and poor living conditions, and sub-standard, Third-World education, health care and quality of life.

I don’t celebrate oppression or injustice,either. Canada Sucks! Any country that treats it’s First citizens( or any citizens)like that doesn’t deserve to be celebrated. It’s a human rights violation at it’s worst. While all the mindless indoctrinated “sheeple” will be feeding at the trough, unquestioning and blind, I will be standing alone out in the pasture, at a distance, in silent protest, in solidarity with the Natives, staying far away. I’m never on the side of the majority, ha,ha.

The Truth About War.

Screen Shot 06-05-17 at 08.26 AM

Guns N’ Roses Lyrics

“Civil War”

“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.
Some men you just can’t reach…
So, you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it!
Well, he gets it!
N’ I don’t like it any more than you men.” *

Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they’ve always done before

Look at the hate we’re breeding
Look at the fear we’re feeding
Look at the lives we’re leading
The way we’ve always done before

My hands are tied
The billions shift from side to side
And the wars go on with brainwashed pride
For the love of God and our human rights
And all these things are swept aside
By bloody hands time can’t deny
And are washed away by your genocide
And history hides the lies of our civil wars

D’you wear a black armband
When they shot the man
Who said, “Peace could last forever.”?
And in my first memories
They shot Kennedy
An’ I went numb when I learned to see
So I never fell for Vietnam
We got the wall of D.C. to remind us all
That you can’t trust freedom
When it’s not in your hands
When everybody’s fightin’
For their promised land

And
I don’t need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin’ soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain’t that fresh
I don’t need your civil war

Look at the shoes you’re filling
Look at the blood we’re spilling
Look at the world we’re killing
The way we’ve always done before
Look in the doubt we’ve wallowed
Look at the leaders we’ve followed
Look at the lies we’ve swallowed
And I don’t want to hear no more

My hands are tied
For all I’ve seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or human rights
‘Cause all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars

“We practice selective annihilation of mayors and government officials,
For example, to create a vacuum.
Then we fill that vacuum as popular war advances.
Peace is closer.” **

I don’t need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin’ soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain’t that fresh
And I don’t need your civil war
I don’t need your civil war
I don’t need your civil war
Your power hungry sellin’ soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain’t that fresh
I don’t need your civil war
I don’t need one more war

I don’t need one more war
What’s so civil ’bout war anyway?

War Crimes.

Screen Shot 04-07-17 at 11.52 AM This is a heart-wrenching photo of dead Syrian children who have been killed in an atrocious gas attack, presumably by their own gov’t, the Assad regime, a crime so horrific and brutal it is a war crime. It’s bad enough to do this to your enemy but to your own people? To babies, children, and other innocents? It is beyond reproach, unforgivable, and crosses a line. The civil war in Syria has been raging on now for something like 7 YRS with half of the population left as refugees and the others either killed in war or living in a war zone. Something needs to be done about this desperate situation, and this most recent chemical attack is the last straw.

If you don’t feel grief, sorrow, intense sadness, if you don’t cry, feel a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes looking at this photo then you are heartless and soul-less. USA decided to bomb a Syrian airbase to hold the Assad regime to account for the recent chemical weapons attack in an attempt to stop it and to show that it is not acceptable in the eyes of the world and will not be allowed to continue. Now normally I would condemn such an attack as aggression and an act of war, yet in this case I do think it’s justified.  Although I generally am a peaceful person of non-violence and against aggression and war, in this case a message had to be sent, and the chemical attacks have to be stopped, and maybe it has to take something like this to get the message across. Something has to be done about Assad. He has to go. It would seem the only way to a peaceful resolution and end to the atrocities and war in Syria is to get rid of the Assad regime….even better…maybe someone can even, you know……get rid of him…..

Normally I am horrified and aghast at USA’s quick actions of war, bombings, and acts of aggression and Imperialism against other countries yet in this case I think it’s justified, just as long as they’re totally sure that it was indeed the Syrian army that did do it, and say, not the rebels or someone else; you have to be pretty damn sure that you find out who actually did commit the crime first, and not put blame on the wrong person, and also consider the possibility that perhaps someone else may have done it and made it appear as if Assad did it…..but if he really is responsible he needs to pay and has to be stopped.He probably did it to flush out rebels in that town but don’t give me any of that shit about “collateral damage”, these are innocent civilians that are getting killed, just regular people trying to live their lives and raise their families as best they can, and their only “crime” is being stuck in a war-torn country.There is no excuse!!

As well, the 17 YR old got 92 % and 95% on her writing essays for the university exams and should hear back if she got accepted into the writing program in about 2 weeks,and while they were in Ottawa she went by our old house too but didn’t really remember it much, other than the big tree that used to be in the yard that’s since been chopped down but she was only around 4 YRS old when we moved, and her friend that moved to USA is on spring break now and he came here to visit her and 2 of their other friends that also came over and I could hear them talking, laughing,being playful,just hanging out and having fun and it made me smile and happy to hear and reminded me of my own teen YRS, carefree and stress-free, and it occurred to me that this is probably the best time of her life, before she becomes an adult, along with all the stresses, worries, financial pressures, and responsibilities that go with it.

The 13 YR old’s also away at a sleepover with her youth group so I hope she’s still eating her meals and not skipping them being we’re not there to supervise her, and my mother’s away this weekend at a hotel in a nearby town to get away as sort of a mini-vacation as well, and it’s going to be a sort of a diabetic coma weekend as she said she’s going to pig-out on all the foods her doctor’s forbidden, such as eating out at the Chinese buffet, Taco Bell, Tim Horton’s, etc… and with her gone for 2 days I get a break,too, away from her and her meddling, criticism,and overall nastiness, so it’s like a break for me,too!