My Smart Idea.

Reactine I am now in the worst stage of my cold, you know, the part where your nose runs like a faucet and you have to sleep with a wad of toilet paper shoved up your nostrils. I have been taking Dayquil every 4 hours for relief of the congestion and runny nose even though my mother and Patti brag, as if they are somehow superior to me for not having to medicate for their colds, that they don’t take anything for their colds, they just suffer thru it, but I have small sinuses and narrow nasal passages so I get really stuffed up and can’t breathe, so I have to take something to relieve it, but it only works for 2 hours or so…, I had the bright idea Why not try Reactine instead, like I do for my allergies? esp. since it lasts for 24 HRS so you only have to take 1 pill once a day, and it relieves the same symptoms as a cold: sneezing, runny nose, stuffiness…. so I did, and it works wonders and lasts longer! My nose is so clear now I can actually breathe!  It’s like some miracle and from now on I know what I’m going to be taking every time I have a cold! No more cold meds, just Reactine! Weird too, I can’t even find any Contac C in any of the stores anywhere around here anymore, so has it been banned in this country for some reason or are they out of business now, or something?

My friend in France also posted a cute hippo video on my Facebook wall only he spelled it as hyppo which I thought was really cute, and tomorrow my cousins leave on a 2 month cruise to Australia the lucky buggers, and my hubby thinks in just 2 weeks he may not have a job; they’re calling everyone in for a “Big Interview” and there’s talk about relocating it all to India and everyone will be out of a job….oh, shit, if he is let go what do we do about $$$$? How do we pay the bills, which we already struggle to pay, plus my medications are covered under his employer drug plan, and we don’t have the $$$$ to pay, and all the meds I take it would cost hundreds a month and I need my meds…..oh, my God, what are we going to do?(the kids can kiss all their lessons and activities goodbye now,too) The company isn’t having anyone work remotely( from home) anymore now either like he does; he said we’d have to move closer to Toronto so he can commute if he can even be relocated elsewhere in the same company somewhere but there’s NO WAY we can even afford anything near there where the minimum cost of homes start around 500K, and that’s in the towns outside of the GTA…. I know God has always provided our needs and taken care of us before and I have no doubt He will again now but this really scares me…..

I also wonder as well when I woke up this morning if I might have been unconscious and woken up out of unconsciousness as I suddenly just woke up startled and disoriented and I had come out of a deeper place, not like a normal sleep; it felt like I had been in “deeper” and I felt like I had the best sleep ever,too, like how when you wake up out of an anesthetic,and I kept waking up during the night like I usually do, every hour or so and I remember the last time when I looked at the clock and could feel myself drifting off I could see and feel the familiar sensations of going into another dimension and saying to myself, I’m going in…. I got my weed in the mail as well; I order it online from the licensed medical producer and it’s delivered in the mail and I have to sign for it, and when I opened the door the mail lady said, This must be for you…. so I guess she somehow knew what it was, even though it comes in discreet plain packaging(like porn) and has no distinguishing labelling or return address, and I must have looked spacey,out of it,sickly, dishevelled, or something, like a pothead( ha ha) or maybe because I’m bald and she thought I have cancer or something?  😀




BuddyLong Here is a funny photo of Buddy and the 16 YR old that the 14 YR old took. Look how extra long he is! I know he’s a Dachshund and he is long but in real life he’s still not quite this long, like he appears in the picture. Here he looks like he’s 2-3 times longer than he actually is in real life. I suspect the photo has been “doctored” in some way, edited or Photoshopped, although the girls deny it. If not, then perhaps it’s just the angle, but either way he’s quite the longfellow, we could call him Stretch. I also picked 4 fleas off him in just the same day. Another sign spring is near(he was rolling around in the grass), along with the flock of geese I saw returning the other day and the birds that have come back.I like spring; it always shows new life, a promise of new hope and renewal after a long cold winter. It brings hope.

As well, I have the cold now that 3 of the kids had, now I’m sneezing, have a runny nose and a scratchy throat, and I felt really weird the other day too, just all of a sudden, really “creepy”(like how I did awhile ago in the CT scan) and hard to explain the feeling but the closest would be like when your BP drops suddenly and quickly so I checked it and it was a bit high actually but not concerning but my heart rate was low; 52(normal is 65 or so) and I checked online and anything below 60 is considered bradycardia, or low heart rate, also called Sick Sinus and low enough for a pacemaker, so it would also explain why I’m always so tired and feel like I’m going to faint when I stand up and that time why I did faint that time a few months ago, It will be interesting what the cardiologist says when I see him next month….

I also lost more weight again; I can tell as my rings are looser and so are my pants and my stomach looks flatter.I came across as well something called Addison’s Disease which means low  functioning adrenal glands and explains alot of my other symptoms and it makes sense if I have that as well esp. considering I did have issues with my adrenal gland before, incl. low levels of aldosterone.It also would explain the darkening patches I have on my skin…A cousin also informed us that my mother’s uncle( who was in his 90’s) died and so did another cousin’s ex-wife, who would just have been in her 60’s. I remember when their family first moved to this country when I was a teen and when they divorced she moved back to Europe and I think she remarried again.

I had these weird dreams as well, incl. the neighbour’s house next door was on fire and I could see the flames coming from their upstairs window, and another dream that the 23 YR old and his GF split up and I was sad because I like them together and they’re so cute, and another dream as well this family wanted a dog so they said about Buddy, We’ll just take this one! and I said, No you won’t! That’s MY dog, and if you touch him I’ll gut you like a fish! but somehow they did take him but he managed to escape and come back to me.I liked it in church yesterday too in the homily the deacon said that even thru suffering,trials, hardship, and pain you are never alone and that God is with you and Jesus suffered too and you are like a seed planted in darkness that is in a hostile environment yet one day will still blossom. I’m like that seed. I have been planted in darkness and I am waiting to blossom.



Je Suis.

HippoTutuI am:






a free spirit

a Marxist

a hippie




a dreamer



high strung



a rebel







an outcast


an outsider


my own person


a pacifist

a reader









for social justice

anti-gun, anti-war, anti-violence

a citizen of the world

well travelled


and I love:



my dog



the sun



the ocean

the beach



Reggae, Blues, Rock


butter chicken



hot baths

warm blankets




the 70’s and 80’s


Converse hi-tops

live concerts


steamy hot sex

thoughtful gestures


diet cola

claw-foot bathtubs

old Victorian houses


palm trees

the smell of paint

ethnic foods


Pluck Yew.


For all of those who may have wondered, here is the history of the Middle Finger, also commonly known as the Up Yours, Up The MacGregor, Flipping The Bird, etc. and also of the F-Word….

The History of the Middle Finger:
Well, now……here’s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as ‘plucking the yew’ (or ‘pluck yew’).

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and they began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentalfricative ‘F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ‘giving the bird.’

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing. Didn’t yew!!

Ponderings For You.



































As well, it took my poor mother 4 days to do the income tax. I could never do that; too much math, and also too complex, too confusing and too frustrating.If I didn’t have someone to do it for me it just wouldn’t get done. I also put a sort of “alarm” on the inside of my bedroom door to alert me if anyone opens up my door during the night to try and steal Buddy off my bed again while I’m asleep; I put a garbage can full of empty pop cans in front of the door so if anyone opens it it will fall down, knocking the cans all over, making a racket and wake me up, alerting me, so I can keep an eye on my dog and tell them to f*ck off.

The second-oldest is moving to Vancouver(she lives in Toronto now) in the summer as well for a new job in the art field, and the 23 YR old’s GF is going back to California for the summer too to work and see her family and then return here later for her second year of school.It also snowed again too. Where’s spring? I’ve had enough of this shit….


Dark Energy.

DarkEnergy I was laying on the couch resting,headphones on, with my eyes closed, and all of a sudden I felt the presence of dark energy, like a shadow filling the room, a bad vibe, like a dark presence and I opened my eyes and saw my hubby had entered the room! It was the weirdest, strangest thing. I could literally feel his negativity towards me and his darkness in my life invading my personal space, my peaceful zone, almost like a dark foggy mist that creeped into the room and disrupted my peace. Earlier I was also in the livingroom listening to reggae  on Google Home and he walks in and just turns it off and puts on something else, something like he likes, even though I was listening to that and I was there first, having no regard for me,and then later on when I was listening to Van Halen and he wasn’t even in the same room as me(I was in there by myself) but in the diningroom he still yells at me to turn that “garbage” off…. he’s just a controlling asshole that delights in provoking, goading,and annoying me, likes to walk in and take over, thinks he’s boss,and likes to try to ruin my enjoyment of the music that I love.

As well, my BFF said awhile ago she was in the hospital for 3 days with an infection( and my friend O who had the heart surgery spent a week in the hospital) and they think it might have been her colon and she had a colonoscopy and biopsy just like I did too but it came back normal and she says she goes on these crazy cleansing detoxes as well she recommended to me but no thanks: she only drinks fluids for a week followed by only eating raw food for a week, incl. rabbit. Yes, that’s right: raw rabbit. Ugh, no thanx. I’d be too hungry for one thing and raw meat is just gross.I wonder if that’s what caused her infection? My hubby’s always saying the diet Pepsi I drink is what’s causing all my medical ailments too even though it’s caffeine and sugar free; he just likes to always blame me somehow. She also asked my to be a reference for her passport. Now that I can do.

I was also rolling a Big Fatty and my mother goes, It smells like weed in here! and the 10 YR old went to a Classical Mozart concert(he’s cultured….I like that) the 14 and 16 YR olds have colds, and the 18 YR old pretty well gets 100% on most of her assignments at school and plans to move out of residence next year and find a place elsewhere, and we have now officially started our week off school for March Break! We still don’t know yet if Patti’s dog’s prego yet and if Buddy’s going to be a father but they would make beautiful puppies….