My Adventure.

Screen Shot 12-16-17 at 07.33 AM 001 I had quite the adventure yesterday! First of all, my hubby and I spent the day in Kingston before I had my CT scan so we spent the day of it. First of all I went to a marijuana dispensary on the Mohawk reserve as they sold the stuff for cheaper than my usual medical supplier plus they also sell edibles that I can’t order online  and receive thru the mail, and this way also saves shipping costs and there’s no tax. There’s also no worry about the cops raiding the place as being on the Native reservation and territory it’s like Sovereign land, sort of like an embassy so they can’t bust it. Here’s a photo I took of this incredibly massive joint they had a draw for; I mean, this sucker is huge and easily worth hundreds of $$$$$. I just had to take a picture of it I was just so impressed. I mean, I really need this in my life. Can you just imagine the Magical Mystery Tour you’d take after smoking on this? In any case, I ended up buying my usual cannabis oil, plus 2 grams of weed , a special brownie and a couple of chocolates.

The next stop was the mall, where for our anniversary(which is today) gift my hubby got me an Ugly Christmas sweater that said Merry Go F*ck Yourself! and I also bought a cool purple sequin backpack and a wall plaque that said Love me, love my and had a silohette of a Dachshund, so perfect for me and 50% off,too! Then we ate at Popeye’s where I’ve never been to before but I wanted to try as I’d seen their commercial on TV for their popcorn chicken and it looked good…..but ended up to be an utter and total disappointment; it wasn’t even spicy at all and, in fact, didn’t even have any flavour whatsoever; even KFC has more “spice”; the napkin would have been just as “tasty”; it was so bland it was like British food and it just totally turned me off I couldn’t even eat it so I had no dinner and was royally pissed-off and now puts Popeye’s in the same designation of shitty places along with the likes of Denny’s and A&W that I’d rather starve than eat there ever again. I also kept feeling hot, sweaty and like I was going to faint several times during the day too as well as really thirsty and dehydrated and had to sit down and rest.

Then it was time to see the new Star Wars movie my hubby pre-ordered tickets online for expecting a sell-out crowd even though hardly anyone was even there, but this cinema was amazing, not like the one here in town; the screen was enormous and the seats were black leather fluffy recliners, and it was a good movie except it started 20 minutes late… so many stupid commercials, ads, and movie previews….so it ran late, which made us run late for my CT scan, and the movie still wasn’t over yet and it was just 15 minutes until my app’t which was still 20 minutes away and we were having this fierce blizzard…..so just our luck, we had to leave early, before the end of the movie, and we hit every single red light along the way too and I just barely made it on time for my scan and then driving home we got caught on the highway in these terrifying snow squalls where it just went pure white and you just couldn’t see anything and were basically driving blind and just hoping and praying for the best and couldn’t even see the cars in front of you, my God it was so scary and I remember praying, convinced we were going to be killed in a car crash, Dear God, if I get killed here on this road tonight please at least let it be quick …. They said I should get the results in a about a week.

Advertisements

F*ckin’ COLD!!

Screen Shot 12-14-17 at 07.47 AM It’s f*ckin’ COLD out! It’s so frigid cold you can’t feel your face or anything else! When Buddy went out for his morning walk he didn’t even want to go pee; he just stood there stubbornly in refusal, trembling and shaking, and he was limping along and then collapsed as his feet were just so frozen cold. He eventually did go pee and then I scooped him up under my arm and carried him back inside so he wouldn’t have to walk on the cold snow any longer. When he got inside he quickly burrowed deep under his warm “nest” of blankets and hibernated and I tossed my heated blanket on top of him as well to quickly defrost him and warm him up, my poor boy. I said it must easily have been the coldest day of the year so far and my hubby said no, January or February of this year must have been colder, but no, I even heard on the news it is the coldest day of the entire year so far, even colder than any day this past January or February, so I win. I wish I could hibernate until spring, on a beach in the Caribbean! I’m done with this cold winter shit already.

As well, when I was in the kitchen preparing a meal I all of a sudden felt faint, like I was going to pass out, only this time at least I had a “warning” like I usually get; I had that creepy weird restless feeling plus I started to see the flashing lights warning me I have mere seconds to quickly sit down before I pass out and go down hard, so I sat down for a few minutes until it passed and then resumed my activities but it just all of a sudden came out of nowhere suddenly without any warning leading up to it; I didn’t feel sick or dizzy or anything, and then it was fine although now the abdomenal pain is back again and my stomach feels uneasy. That’s one of my biggest concerns lately if I’m out someone alone, like, say, at church, or even worse; on the way walking to church or back by myself; what if I faint again and no one’s there to help me, or even worse; they rob me or something while I’m passed-out laying there on the ground, or even on the road and I get run over by a car? I was fortunate last time it happened in the kitchen and people were home but next time I might not be so lucky…

 

The PenguinHawkEagleOwl Sparrow Hawk.

Screen Shot 12-13-17 at 06.18 PM When Buddy was outside going pee I noticed a bird of prey hiding under a bush in our yard watching him, stalking him as prey,and then it flew up on top of the fence to get a better vantage point so I quickly brought him inside and noticed the bird waited there afterwards for hours, waiting for him to return and it scares the shit out of me. I know some of these things have even swooped down and scooped up human babies and carried them off so hunting a small dog isn’t unheard of. At first I thought I was just seeing things, hallucinating, because I’d had my weed although I was pretty sure that I wasn’t and that it really was real.

At first my automatic reaction was to just freeze in fear but then instinct quickly took over and I rushed Buddy quickly back indoors, and he was completely unaware of the danger lurking just steps away from him, and then later my mother, hubby,and a couple of the kids looked out the window and also saw the bird as well so I knew it wasn’t just me and that it really was there. At first I thought it was a hawk, that it looked kind of brown although I didn’t really get a good look at it and I was kind of freaked out and worried about Buddy, so I went back later for a closer look and I thought it was a penguin as it was the right size and shape but that just didn’t seem right( I was on weed, remember) and then thought perhaps an eagle as closer inspection I could see it was a greyish-brown on top and white on the bottom, but then when I got really up close to try to take a photo( which I never got as it flew away) I could also see spots on the back of it’s head and upper neck and white “fanning” tail feathers along with 3 long ones sticking out, leading me to think that perhaps it might be some sort of owl but when I did a Google search describing it and images began to show up I was able to match it to the sparrow hawk. So it is a hawk,afterall. I was right from the beginning. I’m just glad that I saw it and noticed that it was there and that Buddy wasn’t out alone in the yard for example, or it could have gotten him and I’d never know until it was too late. I don’t even want to think about that.

It’s also really freezing cold out, – 16 C with wind-chill of – 25 C, and my medical marijuana group is having a Christmas potluck dinner and I wonder what kind of desserts they’ll have there, like maybe some special brownies or something? I bet that’s going to be one interesting party but with my social phobia I don’t like to go to parties or socialize and I feel really awkward and uncomfortable around all those people I don’t know and I never know what to say and my anxiety level goes thru the roof and I get panic attacks so I just end up staying home. My hubby and some of the kids also have a Christmas brunch at a country club this weekend one of his brothers works at. It sounds nice, but then again, too many people and crowds make me feel uneasy.

Winter Wonderland.

Screen Shot 12-12-17 at 06.30 PM It snowed last night! I could hardly wait to go out and walk in the snow but Buddy….not so much. When he went out for his early morning walk and saw it he just stood there, frozen and stiff, unmoving,immobile, refusing to budge, as if the poor dog was thinking What the f*ck just happened? This wasn’t here yesterday! What the hell? He hates snow and he didn’t even want to pee but pulled me right back inside so I ended up taking him out onto the road(in-between cars) to go pee quickly as it was the only spot that was plowed clear and him being a low-rider, the snow was deeper than he was tall! Then later on I shovelled him a little pathway he can use. At least now it puts me in the Christmas spirit though and looks like the Christmas season at long last finally.

When the 10 year old was asked what he wants for Christmas he also replied, Pizza from Pizza Hut, and put some $$$$ into the bank for my future. I swear, that kid’s even smarter than I thought! I always knew he was a genius, but what 10 year old thinks that far ahead and asks for something like that? My abdomenal pain’s really bad today as well and I kept getting woken up during the night with a bad cough,too, and next week my hubby and some of the kids are going away on a road trip for part of Christmas Break which also gives me a week of peace and quiet and a break as well.

The Shoulder, The Wrist, The Chest, And The Toe.

Screen Shot 12-08-17 at 06.25 PM Reading the title for this post reminds me of one of those jokes…. The shoulder, the wrist, the chest,and  the toe walk into a bar…. but actually the shoulder, the wrist,the chest,and the toe walked into the hospital…last night my hubby and the 16 YR old both went to the ER together; a joint adventure, which we’ve been having lots of lately; we should get a family discount rate! My hubby’s had a really sore shoulder for a week now and despite putting heat on it he can’t sleep with the pain so he finally decided to get it checked and it’s a pulled muscle like we figured although he has no idea how he did it, but they gave him a pain shot in the arse(likely Tramadol or something) which helped. The 16 YR old also went for her sore wrist and chest pains she’s been getting at night. It turns out that the wrist is just from over-use at cheerleading and the chest pain is- get this- just indigestion from eating too much spicy food so she has to lay off the curry and sriracha, at least right before bed, and the 21 YR old said just the day before she comes up here to visit us over Christmas break she has to have surgery on her toe,too! We’re all like broken down old jalopies that need an over haul!

As well, we’re supposed to get 5-10 cm of snow, our first real snowfall; before it was just a light dusting that quickly melted later that same day, but at least it’s nice for the Christmas season though and so far I haven’t really felt “Christmas-y” yet, maybe because we don’t have any snow yet, and because we don’t have any lights up on our house this year, I don’t know; I’m just not feeling it. Buddy also started to open up a gift under the tree by shoving his head thru it and making a hole; he smelled there was a stuffed toy in there and wanted to get at it. I also remember Patti telling me about a Christmas morning at her son’s he was the first one up and he’d unwrapped all of his toys from under the tree before anyone got up and when they got up he was playing there quietly with his gifts, wrappers strewn all over the floor, but he’d only opened his toys(I guess he identified by the scent?) and had left all the others. Now that’s one smart(and funny!) dog!

I saw on my Facebook hippo lovers group as well someone described us as hippophiles and it made me laugh at first as it sounds like pedophiles, and I envisioned people being sexually attracted to hippos and it made me laugh my ass off, and I Googled the term before I actually used it myself, to check it’s authenticity(because I just don’t automatically believe something I read online, duh!) and it’s a good thing that I did because it doesn’t mean what you’d think it would,and,in fact, has nothing at all to even do with hippos; it actually means someone who loves horsesYou learn something new every day. So then it got me thinking, What is the “official” term for hippo lovers, anyway? Is there even one?

I got my referral to the cardiologist for early February as well which is pretty good to get to see a specialist in just 2 months; usually it’s 6-12 months I’ve had to wait before, and sometimes even longer, so as long as I don’t die of a heart-attack by then…and I figure the best thing that I could do for my family would be to remove myself from their lives since they hate me anyway and think I’m a burden, annoying, the cause of all problems, the fault of everything, and they don’t want me around or part of the family anyway, plus they mistreat and demean me too and I’m beyond miserable, so if I do die soon it would be doing them a favour and they’d actually be better off and I’d be happy, free, and in a better place too so everyone would get what they want and be happier. A win-win situation for everyone. Hey, God, did you hear that?…hint, hint…

 

 

 

Bloody Hell.

Screen Shot 12-05-17 at 06.38 PM This month Aunt Flow is really bad, and I mean really bad. It’s so heavy it’s practically hemmoraging and I was even wondering if I even had to go to the ER but then decided against it since no one ever takes women’s things seriously anyway, like when I mentioned it to my doctor before he just shrugs it off as part of being a woman and something I have to live with even though I’d had it now for some 37 years and I know what it’s like, what to expect,and what’s normal and I know that this is not and it’s not how I usually have it; it’s changed this past year, alot heavier and crampier, and I thought as you neared menopause it was suppose to lessen and ease up and get better, not worse!

In any case, the cramps are so bad it woke me up at 2:00 so I staggered downstairs to get some medication so I checked my Diva Cup (which I only wear overnight in bed as I sleep because it always falls out when I walk upright so I use tampons during the day) and it was full right to the top and it had only been a few short hours, and normally when it goes all night it’s only half-full or less, plus I’m soaking thru a tampon and it’s string, saturating it, soaking thru to my pants, every hour. I know I’m bleeding way too much and it was hard to get thru at the clinic with the 14 YR old yesterday too the cramps were soooo bad but I just drugged myself up and pushed thru it. I wonder if it’s maybe even uterine cancer or something? Why is it so bad now?

Screen Shot 12-05-17 at 02.36 PM

This is also Buddy with his new toy the 16 YR old got him and it’s even personalized with his name! Isn’t he just adorable? My Old Boy will be 12 in 2 more months and he’s really showing his age now with grey on his face and paws and he’s slowing down walking now,too; we’re growing old and grey together,and maybe we’ll even die together, snuggled up together in bed? The 18 YR old also got 100% on her photojournalism mid-term, and the 23 YR old’s GF has Strep Throat, so he’ll likely catch it now,too, since it’s so contagious and he would have been kissing  her (hee,hee!) and it’s so common among campus and dorm life I remember when my oldest was away at university he had it 3 times!

I also heard that the 18 YR old’s former friend as a teen(who I called Klepto because she stole) had a baby a few days ago, a boy almost 9 pounds and she dropped out of highschool as well, typical teen mom redneck highschool dropout in this town, and  it baffles me when we compare and see the differences in their lives; between the 18 YR old, away at school, and hers, a life most likely spent on welfare living in a trailer.

My hubby’s known for distracted driving as well, such as the typical cell phone but also oddities such as putting on his deoderant, clipping his nails, reaching behind him looking for something, eating sunflower seeds, throwing garbage out the window, etc. while driving, generally on the highway, and the other day he also stupidly took both hands off the wheel and held them up in the air like some sort of crazy fool and I told him, What are you doing? You’re going to get us all killed! This isn’t an airplane you can put on auto-pilot! Man, do I ever hope the cops catch him one day (and I’d laugh my ass off…….and I’d sing like a canary,too!) and he finally gets what he deserves and learns his lesson.

Auslander.

Screen Shot 12-04-17 at 08.21 AM I’ve always liked the German word auslander. It means foreigner but the word aus itself means out and I just always sort of saw it as the perfect word to describe me; the outsider, the one who isn’t like the others, who is different, doesn’t fit in,  who always gets left out, who stands out, who is pushed out, ostracized,different, not like the others, outcast. I’m the one that always gets over-looked, forgotten, dismissed, chosen last, discarded, rejected, shoved aside, pushed out, mocked,, and along those lines consider last night when my hubby went to get the 14 YR old’s snack at Harvey’s before bedtime; he brought back her Buffalo chicken sandwich and  himself a burger and fries…..but nothing for me, even though it’s always the 3 of us that share bedtime snack together, and to buy for everyone except  for one person and to purposely exclude one person like that is just rude and mean!(and I’m always the one being left out and “forgotten”, too.) and I was mad and yelled at him, You really are an asshole!!!!

Aunt Flow also came yesterday, 4 days early, yet really heavy and the cramps are so bad I can hardly even stand up so I have to drug myself to oblivion and only after I also had weed did it finally help, Oh, thank you, Lord, for the Blessed Herb! and I’ll be 51 next months and my next date is due right on my birthday too ( it always has a habit of coming at the worst possible time!) and with my luck I’ll probably still have it right up until the day I die (and I’ll never be rid of it) and probably I’ll even be on it, on the day I die, too!  Donna’s house’s been already been sold as well and someone moved into  G.P’s old house yesterday too; we saw the big moving van on the street, so at least that gives us some clue  as to what type of people they may be as rednecks move  themselves using U-Hauls or pick-up trucks and non-rednecks actually hire a moving company. Workers also recently tore up the entire lawn of grass at G.P’s old house and she’d have a shit-fit if only she knew that they did to her grass! She’d be turning in her grave!