Funniest things I have seen.

Dear readers, August 2008

Funniest things I have seen:

A pickle stuck to a wall at McDonald’s.

A lady walking down the street in the rain wearing a garbage bag where she’d cut out holes for her head and arms.I was cracking up laughing and she was so mad and gave me a dirty look, but I couldn’t help it!!

I got the kids a toy to play with during a long flight and we opened it up on the plane.It was from China and had the most hilarious instructions: “No aim peoples”, “No in the mouth”, and “Special pinball fighter for swallow”.We just kept cracking up hysterically,tears were rolling down our faces and everyone kept staring at us and must have thought we were crazy, but it was so funny!! Mind you, this was also after hours of travelling and being sleep deprived,making it even more hilarious to us.

A car that was “patches’ of all different colors; easy to find in the parking lot at least…

A bumper sticker that read “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic and so am I”.

A squirrel fall out of a tree.

A bird chasing a chipmunk along the top of a fence.

A dog shaved completely bald after a nasty encounter with a skunk.

One of the kids as a baby sitting beside the dog eating the rest of a cake out of a pan in the garbage.

One of the kids stuck on the top of the door; he was climbing pretending to be Spiderman and got stuck,and called out in distress to be rescued.

Shoes hanging up on a wire.

In Church for Christmas Mass hearing a little kid sitting behind me ask his grandmother “Who’s that Man hanging up on the Cross?”

A friend of one of the kids while at a restaurant being told about the pitcher of water asking puzzled,”Why do you want to draw a picture of water?” She was 15 BTW.(and yes, a blonde!!)

In Amsterdam one in the tour group bought a pair of fuzzy marijuana slippers and kept wearing them,even with a suit!!

2 pieces of peanut-butter soaked bread stuck to the headlights of a van.

Hearing a story of a little sibling shaving her big sister bald as she slept.

The kids had this toy tongue and had it stuck up on the ceiling.It stayed stuck there for days and we couldn’t reach it.It just had to unstick and fall off on it’s own.

In a movie a guy, dressed only in his underwear, rolling around on the floor, covered with hundreds of mouse-traps.I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!!

One of the kids wearing underwear on her head, proudly proclaiming she’s a “member of the Underwear-Head Club!”

A baby with it’s hair standing straight up,and with big eyes; it looked like one of those little monkeys!

There’s a phone company called Fido and on their recent ad it’s a dog that’s inflated to look like a floating balloon; it’s so funny I couldn’t stop laughing!!

In Gibraltar it’s so small that the planes have to share the road with the cars; the highway doubles as a runway,and twice a day the cars have to stop and let the planes land and take off.It was the funniest thing ever!! Can you imagine sharing the road with an airplane? I saw it live for myself and it was really true!!

We used to have frogs and toads and we fed them live crickets but one day one of the kids left the lid off and they all hopped out….so I had to try and catch all these crickets,and the frog got loose once too and it took me an hour trying to find and catch it and return it to the aquarium before it all dried out!!

One of the kids does this really funny squawking shrill goose sound that always cracks me up!

The “Whack-a-mole” carnival game at the Ex; it’s so funny!

Walking thru the airport in Amsterdam I saw a pilot walking ahead of me….with a “I love Europe” sign taped to his back, totally oblivious to it!

2 dragonflies having sex….airborne; flying, still attached stuck together!

With my hair shorn into a “Buzz-cut” I overheard a man gasp to his wife “Look at that!” and she gently scolded him “Be nice,Dear, she may have had chemo!”

In Egypt, an old, toothless man offered me 5000 camels to marry him!

One of the kids friends saw their “Jesus” bracelet and asked ‘Who is Jay-Soos Kreest?” and he replied “Jesus Christ;you dumb-head, you know…God’s Son!” and he remarked “I didn’t know God’s last name was ‘Kreest'”

A commercial on the radio, said with a thick Scottish Brogue: “If it’s not Scottish, it’s CRAP!”

I saw a photo of a woman and instead of the usual eyebrows hers were a series of DOTS!!! Dots shaped into the shape of arches.

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