Funny things the kids have said or done

Funny things the kids have said or done…..well, let’s see, there have been so many over the years ,too many to count or remember them all….here are a few I can think of right now:

One ate a caterpilar! When I asked where it went(it had been in a jar) he pointed to his mouth and said “Yum,yum, all gone!”I quickly made a frantic call to the poison control centre!

another of the kids said priests(being celibate) are “ball-less!”

One of the kids asked why the new crosswalk has a beeping noise when the light changes and I said it’s “so blind people know when the light is green” and she gasped in horror “BLIND people shouldn’t be driving!!”

I had mentioned to my 5 year old when one of the kids was little he cut off his older brother’s “tail” (long piece of hair at the back) when he was asleep, as revenge for “torturing” him earlier, and she goes,wide-eyed, ‘He had a TAIL?” thinking like a dog or a cat…

One of the kids seeing a tag on a toy , said “It says his name! It’s ‘Sir Face Wishable!'”….I read it and it said “surface washable”.

A naughty poem one of the boys penned at about age 4 years old:

“Roses are Red,

Violets are blue,

Make a shit on the wall.”

When one of them was about age 5 he said when he gets older he “want to be witch” and I got all flustered thinking he said “witch” like as in the occult….until he clarifed, “No, ‘witch’, like uncle Scrooge!”…oh, I get it! He meant “rich!”

Hearing about “Flanders Fields” poem for Remembrance Day I explained to the kids it’s a poem about war, and one of them piped up “Oh, I know that one!! Whistle while you work,Hitler is a jerk…..”

Telling one of the kids about my upcoming Holy Land trip in 2 months I said “I’ll be going where Jesus was born,and where He grew up,and lived, and had His ministry” and she sobbed,”You mean Heaven?”

Having 11 kids I have been to the hospital many times and one time I just went in for surgery,but unrelated to birth ,and when I came back a few days later, one of the kids looked puzzled and asked me ‘Where’s the baby?”

Mentioning about our upcoming trip to Israel one of the kids asked me if we could “bring Jesus back on the plane with us” and I replied He’d be held up at immigration as with the racial profiling nowadays with His long hair and beard they’d think He’s a terrorist and He’d be flagged on the “No fly” list! 😦

One of the kids asked me if I’m Scottish. When I said “no”, but “we only have part Scottish in us”(as well as other various European nationalities) she sighed ‘Then you’re only *partly* crap!” referring to a commercial where they state ‘If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!”

One of the kids, when I told him he has a brain, pouted and huffed “I don’t just have ONE brain; I have HUNDREDS!!”

One of the kids, talking about someone I used to love but didn’t love me back, described him as someone “who broke Mama’s ‘heart-beat'”.

One of the kids at age 4 or so was scolded for spilling the jellybeans,and he sobbed ‘I didn’t! I just opened it and they all jumped out!”

We used to have toads and frogs as pets and we kept a supply of live crickets to feed them,and one day one of the kids left the lid off and they all got loose, so we had all these crickets hopping all over the house I had to catch!

I told the kids that eating steak puts hair on your chest,to which the 5 year old recoiled in disgust “Euuuu!! I don’t want hair on MY chest!”and she  declined eating it!!

When we returned from Amsterdam, one of the kids asked me ‘Did you see any hamsters when you were in ‘Hamsterdam’?”

There was a slug stuck outside on one of the kids toys and when I told her to “just flick it off!” she got a look of sheer horror come across her face and scowled “I’m not going to LICK it off!”

One of the kids mentioned “When Papa tries to look ‘cool’ he just ends up looking stupid!”

Telling the 5 year old to wear pierced-ear earring she “has to have holes in her ears” she said “I DO!” and pointed to her ear-drums!

Our 19 year old called a candy company’s 1-800 number(as a joke) and asked about the After Eight Mints: “My brother and I are debating; when can we eat the mints….after 8 AM…or 8 PM?”They laughed and said it really didn’t matter!

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One thought on “Funny things the kids have said or done

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