I am a disgrace to my people!!

Dearest readers,

I think I am a disgrace to my people. Why, you ask? Well, I am Canadian. I do not like what the “typical” Canadian does,and I don’t identy with *being* Canadian, and I don’t have the interests that a steroetypical Canadian does. Case in point: when you think of “Canada” or “Canadian”, what do you think of? What comes to mind?…

hockey?

Tim Horton’s?

Corner Gas(TV show)

David Suzuki

camping

winter

saying words like “eh?”

beer

Maple syrup

toques(retarded-looking winter hats)

Back-bacon

curling

ok, let’s start with these:

First of all I couldn’t care LESS about hockey(or any sports, fr that matter; I think it’s for losers!). I think it is a meaningless waste of time, suited to White-trash,and I resent always having to miss my favourite TV shows that are pre-empted during hockey season! Why should THAT crapola cancel out everything else? The year the hockey went on strike(and it wans’t constantly on TV) was the bEST!!

Tim Horton’s: For those of you who may not know, this is a popular restaurant famous for it’s coffee and donuts. I don’t drink coffee,and I don’t like their donuts; I prefer Dunkin Donuts, esp. the jelly-filled ones and the chocolate coconut!This fascination, and almost addiction(esp. related to their coffee; what, do they put hash in it, or what?), to Tim Horton’s continues to baffle me.Why DO people PAY 4$ a cup for COFFEE?

I think Corner Gas is one of the lamest,and dumbest shows around. It makes all of us look like dumb Newfies. Generally I think ALL Canadian TV(with the rare exception of Degrassi and Anne of Green Gables series) is painfully bad; the typical hollow, monotone acting,and cheap-budget productions. It makes me embarrassed and you can always “tell” if a show is Canadian; it just has that “vibe”. Other noteworthy pathetic shows incl. Beachcombers, Canadian Idol, The Littlest Hobo, Street Legal,etc..

Don’t even get me started on David Suzuki!! I can’t sand those environmental freaks! They care more about animals than people and more  about the planet than humans. David is one of the worst, using fear-mongering and scare-tactics to indoctrinate people into his eco-theology. It has, sadly, become the New World religion. Every time I see his smirking  face I just want to haul off and punch him in his nose!

Camping is not my favourite thing: If I’m out in the woods I prefer to sleep in a cabin,and NOT on the hard ground,in a tent, among wild animals and freezing cold.This is supposed to be “FUN?”

Winter is ok, but I’m not an outdoor winter-sport enthusiast.

I do not say “eh?” and it bothers me to no end to hear others say it as well as “aboot” for “about” or people who say other  uncultured things such as “youse guys”. and “aint”.You get the idea…don’t speak like an uneducated, inbred, redneck, Hillybilly hick! It makes  my skin crawl.

Beer: this has got to be the most disgusting thing in the world! When I was little my cousin gave me a taste and it tastes as bad as it smells. I have never had another drop. It’s so gross and I am convinced people don’t realy like it and just pretend they do as they think it makes them fit in and look “cool”. The dumbest thing I have ever heard.I would rather drink swamp water!

I don’t really like Maple syrup. It’s ok, but I can do without it and it’s not what I’d call a flavour I like.

I would not wear a toque. I think they look like retard hats!

Back bacon: this is actually the one and only “Canadian” thing I LIKE!! It tastes kind of like ham,and the salty cornmeal along the edges is good!

Curling is the dumbest thing ever: what the heck? You take a broom and sweep a big rock across the ice? Is this for real? Who would even think of such a lame-o thing,anyway? How can this even be considered a sport?

I have never felt Canadian. I do not identify with the whole Canadian thing. I have never liked living here and have always wanted to live elsewhere, such as Europe, Australia ,Hawaii, or the Caribbean. One day, when the kids are all older and grown up I hope to leave. When I travel I am embarrassed people know I’m Canadian due to the “loser” stereotype associating us with things such as beer and hockey.I just think I was merely born in the “wrong” country…..in the wrong place at the wrong time? I feel like I’m walking in one direction and everyone else is walking in the opposite direction.I am a “displaced” person!! Yeah, that must be it!! 🙂

One thought on “I am a disgrace to my people!!

  1. I have other ones that could be shame to Canada bragging that Canada fought world war one and two before the United States. True but Canada was more a British dominion than and most were recently from Britain. So away with our smugness Don Cheery calling anyone who disagrees with him a commie one wonders how avoided arrest in Russia. Canada arming the Ukraine it will play into Vladimir Putin’s hands, they use AKMs not M4s and besides it’s a lost cause more of them with die for nothing. Our smugness over the United States they don’t like iot a rightly so. The Avro arrow the plane was too specialized and expensive note they over look the Avro jet liner the first American commercial jet plane even on Newspaper in the United States 1949. The Mac Kenzie brother they make Canadians look like fat badly dress drunk uneducated morons.

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