Outside my window….I see rain bouncing on the fresh-fallen leaves, a squirrel scrambling up what’s left of our summer vines creeping along the outer walls of the house.A blustery,crisp,cool fall day.
I am thinking…how much longer I can hold on. I have had a particularly hard past few days and beaten down and spent emotionally. I am at my breaking point and need all my strength just to keep going….it would be so easy to just give up and let go….
From the learning rooms…. God still loves me, even when it feels that no one else does. I am still special to Him.I DO have value and worth in His eyes even if not in anyone else’s.
I am thankful for….my kids and my faith.
From the kitchen…the stove fan is now on, whirring away the smoke from the freshly fried hamburgers.
I am wearing…..my warm,snug and comfy flannels.
I am reading…..a book set in peaceful Amish country. I have always held a special place in my heart for the Amish and admired their faith-filled, righteous and simple way of life, far removed from the evils of this world.
I am hoping.,…..my emotional state improves.That I can find out what it feels like to be happy and loved. To have inner peace and stillness of soul.
I am creating…..diaries to pass down to my kids. A legacy of my life and my family to be treasured years later, along with the photo albums. To remember our past when it is long gone.
I am hearing…..so many awful things on the news that break my heart: a missing 15 year old boy who ran away from home, a singer’s family shot and killed and her missing nephew, a family devastated by the tragic accident and death of their 2 year old, a mother who lost her kids to the state for no reason….it never ends…
Around the house….kids’ toys are scattered all around, there is chaos and noise. The radio blares, the kids thunder up and down the stairs, laughing with glee at a new toy they bought.
One of my favorite things….sitting in the sun outside, reading.
A few plans for the rest of the week…..take 2 of the kids for their vaccines. Mass. Cadets.Cubs.Piano lessons.Grocery.Watch a couple of TV shows. Hunker down and avoid the fuss of Halloween.