Pregnancy And Birth Truths.

Q:  Should I have a baby after 35?
A:  No, 35 children is enough.

Q  : I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A:  With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q  : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A:  Childbirth.

Q:  My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline  irrational.

A:  So what’s your question?

?:  My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but  pressure. Is she right?
A:  Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air  current.?

Q:  When is the best time to get an epidural?
A:  Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

?:  Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in  labor?
A:  Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q:  Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A:  Yes, pregnancy.

Q:  Do I have to have a baby shower?
A:  Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q:  Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal  again?
A:  When the kids are in college.

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