Dear family,January 2009:
REAL THINGS that happened to me:
My house burnt down.(13 years ago)
I have had 3 surgeries.
I have had a liver problem.
I was bullied in school.
I have complicated pregnancies and/or labours.
We had to flee danger and relocate in secret after an enemy threatened us.
I had over 100 stitches in my tongue.
One of our kids had cancer.
I shaved my head.
My thumb had a bench fall on it and my entire nail went black and fell off.
I was followed walking home from school one day as a kid and a creep followed me but I lost him.
I almost drowned as a kid.
I fell down the stairs as a kid and knocked myself out unconscious.
I broke my toes twice and my finger once.
I have had miscarriages.
I have been in a car accident when I was a kid and hit my head on the dashboard.
I met Prime Minister(at the time) Mulroney.
I once had a contact-lens get loose and roll around to the back of my eyeball but it eventually came back ’round again.
My shoulder got disconnected and my arm was facing backwards.
I have had angelic experiences.
I have eaten an ant.
I met Wayne Gretzky 3 times.
I graduated on the Honor Roll.
I got electrocuted on a barbed-wire fence.
I got my tongue stuck to a frozen metal fence.
I have ridden an elephant and a camel.
I have had my name mentioned on the radio.
I have fainted in public.
I have been hit by a bike.
I have eaten ca-ca.
I have had my hair and eyelashes burn off.
I have had an emergency landing on a plane.
I have been to court.
I have had hundreds of stitches.