Screenshot_1040 While I was out walking Buddy he’d stopped in front of the house to sniff something in the grass and to pee on the fire hydrant and as we waited I looked up at the house and a wave of emotion came over me and I thought, This is my home. This is where I belong. I don’t want to live somewhere else. I don’t want to move. Even though I’ve never liked the town I do like the house and I’ve settled in here and I really don’t want to leave, esp. the backyard, my bedroom,and the livingroom. Those are my fave. spots in the house, but if we do end up having to still move afterall I hope at least that I love the new house too and enough so that I don’t miss this one too much. I also hope for “extras” such as a clawfoot tub and French doors like I had at our old Toronto house. The photo here I took sitting on the front veranda looking out onto the street, also another place I like to be, sitting in the shade.

Screenshot_1041 The pool’s also clearing up nicely now as well, and I’m surprised so fast! Hopefully maybe it will be ready to use in time for when our relatives come visit on the weekend! We dumped something like 8 jugs of “shock” (liquid chlorine) into it . I also re-dyed my hair platinum blonde again and it’s so short I have to cut it every 1-2 weeks and dye it every 3 weeks and my mother had her MRI yesterday as well to try and find the source of her back pain she had earlier but if it’s something like a virus or nerve pain nothing will show up on the scan and on the weekend it will be 7 weeks since I’ve last had Aunt Flow,too, so I’m hoping that menopause has finally come and I won’t be getting it anymore and last month the cramps were off the chart but I hardly had any flow,and my friend A(from Ottawa) and his wife had their first baby the other day; a girl, and they were in the hospital for 2 days,too, but when I had my last baby I went home after just 4 hours, so I wonder if they’re keeping them in longer now?


Graduate The 14 YR old had her LAST appointment at the eating disorders clinic yesterday; she’s been officially discharged and they closed her file; she’s graduated! She’s now 1 pound above her ideal weight  and all her stats are looking good and they commented on how they can clearly notice she looks and seems so much healthier, happier, and better.It’s true; I notice it,too, now there’s a “light” about her, a sparkle, a shine, a glow, a radiance; life. We got a 6 month prescription for the Prozac but they said to end the other medication which bothers me that they’d discharge her first, before having another doctor to follow her up, just in case there are any problems going off the meds( like last time they tried she relapsed) and also just for follow-up care and to re-new meds,etc. as she’s still on the waiting list for a family doctor and it can take months. I also wanted to give her a party to celebrate with balloons, cake, etc. but she said she hates parties.

She’s just doing so well and it’s been 11 months. There were some times, back in the early days, that I’d never thought I’d ever see this day but she’s made so much progress and come so far. That was how it also was when the now 20 YR old had leukemia when he was 7; those earlier days were so dark and just seemed so hopeless and endless I just couldn’t see any light out of the darkness yet now here we are. Thank you, God. As promised for her hard effort, work, progress, and success we went to the Apple store in Kingston right down the street from the hospital and got her the MacBook computer she’s always wanted. She chose the silver and it turns out that it was the last one in that colour in the store. She’s always been “lucky” like that (and she’s always winning prizes and stuff,too) unlike me; I’m the exact opposite! She was just beaming and smiling from ear to ear, she was so happy and it was so nice to see. Damn, those things are expensive though( it took my hubby almost a year to save up) it costs as much as a cruise! She’s earned it though; she’s worked hard, come a long way,and she deserves it.

One of the therapists at the clinic had her baby as well; a girl that weighed…get this…. 11 1/2 pounds, and that’s not a typo! Holy shit….can you imagine? I just cringe thinking about it. That’s not a baby…..that’s a turkey! Of course she had a cesarian for obvious reasons and I’ll bet the baby likely  even broke a record at the hospital too for biggest baby born there! On the way there I also saw a rabbit roadkill on the highway and another as well my hubby and I were arguing over he says is a coyote but I think looks more like a wolf; at first I wondered if it was a dog as it looked like a husky(and it was grey and white) but then I wondered What would a dog be doing way out here on the highway in the middle of nowhere? and it was just next to the forest so I figure likely a wolf as coyotes are more of a brown colour…

I was also contemplating Who am I? In the past I used to define myself as a wife and homeschooling mother but not anymore, not now that the kids are older and there’s this distance between my family and I as they belittle and demean me and continue to push me away, I don’t feel “bonded” to them anymore, and I don’t have a career to define myself by,and even if I did that’s still not who I am; it’s just what I do, and then the answer popped into my head, A child of God.  That’s who I am. I am a child of God. We all are. It just felt like a warm loving embrace from God, a reassurance that He loves me and that I’m not worthless, a nobody, unlovable. I am a child of God. I am made in His Image.I am loved by God. When I walked Buddy at 6 am this crazy old guy at the corner house was also loudly yelling standing out his front porch God’s Name and Dammit! 2-3 times and then went back inside. It was so weird.It was too early to be drunk,too… We have the weirdest people living on our street. We live in Crazytown.

I saw Montego Bay 6 am listed on my hubby’s computer calendar as well ( every app’t he puts on shows up on mine as we share app’t dates on our shared calendar) and I got all excited thinking he had secretly got me a ticket to Jamaica( Bob Marley country!) as a surprise but it turned out it was his friend that’s going….man, I would have loved that, and to which he sniffed, For you it would be a one way ticket! and I replied, That’s what I’d wantI was also talking in the car and he orders me to stop talking and in a put-down, condescending way, sort of how you would to a nattering toddler that just won’t shut up and gets on your one last nerve and he huffs, I was just me being me and I told him, …and you’re just you being you….an asshole! Oh, Dear Lord, what have I ever done to “deserve” this?


Bloody Hell.

Screen Shot 12-05-17 at 06.38 PM This month Aunt Flow is really bad, and I mean really bad. It’s so heavy it’s practically hemmoraging and I was even wondering if I even had to go to the ER but then decided against it since no one ever takes women’s things seriously anyway, like when I mentioned it to my doctor before he just shrugs it off as part of being a woman and something I have to live with even though I’d had it now for some 37 years and I know what it’s like, what to expect,and what’s normal and I know that this is not and it’s not how I usually have it; it’s changed this past year, alot heavier and crampier, and I thought as you neared menopause it was suppose to lessen and ease up and get better, not worse!

In any case, the cramps are so bad it woke me up at 2:00 so I staggered downstairs to get some medication so I checked my Diva Cup (which I only wear overnight in bed as I sleep because it always falls out when I walk upright so I use tampons during the day) and it was full right to the top and it had only been a few short hours, and normally when it goes all night it’s only half-full or less, plus I’m soaking thru a tampon and it’s string, saturating it, soaking thru to my pants, every hour. I know I’m bleeding way too much and it was hard to get thru at the clinic with the 14 YR old yesterday too the cramps were soooo bad but I just drugged myself up and pushed thru it. I wonder if it’s maybe even uterine cancer or something? Why is it so bad now?

Screen Shot 12-05-17 at 02.36 PM

This is also Buddy with his new toy the 16 YR old got him and it’s even personalized with his name! Isn’t he just adorable? My Old Boy will be 12 in 2 more months and he’s really showing his age now with grey on his face and paws and he’s slowing down walking now,too; we’re growing old and grey together,and maybe we’ll even die together, snuggled up together in bed? The 18 YR old also got 100% on her photojournalism mid-term, and the 23 YR old’s GF has Strep Throat, so he’ll likely catch it now,too, since it’s so contagious and he would have been kissing  her (hee,hee!) and it’s so common among campus and dorm life I remember when my oldest was away at university he had it 3 times!

I also heard that the 18 YR old’s former friend as a teen(who I called Klepto because she stole) had a baby a few days ago, a boy almost 9 pounds and she dropped out of highschool as well, typical teen mom redneck highschool dropout in this town, and  it baffles me when we compare and see the differences in their lives; between the 18 YR old, away at school, and hers, a life most likely spent on welfare living in a trailer.

My hubby’s known for distracted driving as well, such as the typical cell phone but also oddities such as putting on his deoderant, clipping his nails, reaching behind him looking for something, eating sunflower seeds, throwing garbage out the window, etc. while driving, generally on the highway, and the other day he also stupidly took both hands off the wheel and held them up in the air like some sort of crazy fool and I told him, What are you doing? You’re going to get us all killed! This isn’t an airplane you can put on auto-pilot! Man, do I ever hope the cops catch him one day (and I’d laugh my ass off…….and I’d sing like a canary,too!) and he finally gets what he deserves and learns his lesson.

The Gingerbread House.

Screen Shot 12-03-17 at 08.16 AM 001 The 14 and 16 YR olds tried to make a gingerbread house from scratch but as soon as they put the last piece on ( doesn’t it figure, right at the end, after all that time , effort,and hard work) it all collapsed, so instead of a gingerbread house it ended up a bunch of jagged and ragged broken gingerbread cookies instead, but the important thing is that they still taste the same. The 14 YR old also has this kind of “radar” where she can sniff out and detect every sneaky trick I do and put into her food, too, even the other day when I tried to sneak butter into her muffin by carefully and meticulously injecting it with a syringe! I melted the butter to a liquid and poked tiny little holes into it and injected it using a baby medicine dropper/syringe thinking she’d never know the difference, but she still did. I swear, that kid is like those drug-sniffing dogs at the airport that can detect anything. 

The 23 YR old also left a pizza on the floor in his room and of course Buddy could smell it so he opened the door, went in, opened the pizza box with his snout…..and ate all the pepperoni off it! but just the pepperoni,which also happens to be his fave. food, nothing else; he didn’t eat all the pizza, just the part he thought was his, and I guess he figured it was on the floor so it must have been left out for him because we put food down on the floor for him! He’s such a funny dog and always makes me laugh. A neighbour also asked me while I was out walking him what happened to our outdoor Christmas lights this year and I told her my hubby’s too lazy to do them this year and she said that was disappointing. I saw the perfect  Ugly Christmas sweater for me the other day at Spencers while I was out shopping too; it said Merry Christmas F*ckers! only it cost 69.99$ which is too expensive so I never got it. A Facebook friend in USA also had her first baby 2 days ago, on her 37th birthday, a 6 pound 7 oz girl, and she was in labour for 2 days and pushed for 4 hours! Man, it’s insane what we women go thru to bring babies into the world!

I had a bath bomb in my bath as well and it turned the water an orange-red colour and it looked like I’d been butchered, and the other night I was really nauseated(I had to come downstairs and get a Gravol) and on and off I would get really dizzy it felt like the room was spinning and then I’d feel my heart loudly thumping and pounding in my chest and it makes sense that my heart is what’s causing my issues, my seizures, my black-outs, my shortness of breath, my sweats, my not being able to exert myself , walk too far, and get breathless going up a flight of stairs, and my bad fluid retention, nagging cough I’ve had for months, blue lips I often get( poor circulation), cold hands(POOR CIRCULATION AGAIN) light-headedness, dizziness, extreme fatigue, etc.. maybe now I’ll finally have some answers!  I asked for insight from God as well and loudly and clearly the words ventricular fibrillation came into my head, which I have no idea of so I Googled it, and holy shit, if you’re going to have a heart issue this is like one of the worst possible ones to have; the electric rhythm is off-kilter and can it can just suddenly stop beating resulting in a fatal heart-attack. To this my mother replied, You always have to go to extremes, don’t you? You always have to have the worst or rarest of everything! Story of my life.


screen-shot-01-31-17-at-04-28-pm I had my biopsy done at the doctor’s office. I was an hour late getting in, plus my hubby dropped me off half an HR before my app’t because that’s when he had the time to drive me so I was sitting there for 90 minutes! The biopsy itself only took 10 minutes and I got dressed in a hospital gown, laid on my stomach and was draped with a sterile sheet with only the spot on my shoulder exposed and he injected a local freezing which only hurt a bit, but less than a tattoo, so I didn’t even wince, and then I just felt pressure but no pain, nothing, and he cut a chunk out of my flesh and put one solitary stitch in and put a band-aid on, and that was it. Now I wait 2-3 weeks for the results. Now the freezing’s worn off it just stings a little bit.

My ultrasound results came back normal as well, which is surprising, so nothing to explain my heavy periods or crippling cramps and he just said…..get this… that I’m a woman and it’s just something I have to live with. I couldn’t believe it!  Did you really just f*cking say that to me?  Only a man would say something like that! He also said it would take a YEAR for a referral to a gynecologist and when I asked, “Why, because it’s just a woman’s issue and it’s not taken seriously?” he goes, “No, because you live in Ontario.” F*ck. I was hoping for a hysterectomy like my aunt and cousin had for their heavy, painful periods. I’m too old for this shit. I don’t need it anymore. My hubby also said with all my medical issues I “have the health of a 60-70 YR old” and I “take more medications than my mother” who’s 75.  At least I did get a prescription for a muscle relaxant though, the only thing he would prescribe me for the cramps.


screen-shot-01-31-17-at-04-44-pm-001 Here is also a photo of my friend in Brazil’s baby, who is now 9 months old. Just because she’s so adorably cute! She has got to be the cutest baby that I’ve ever seen and whenever I see photos of her it just makes me smile, and I had the new Blackforest Cake milkshake at Harvey’s and it was oh-so -good,probably even worth the cramps and diarrhrea I know I’m going to suffer later from the cream, and the shooter in the Quebec mosque shooting where 6 people were killed and 19 injured( 2 critically) surprisingly isn’t being charged with terrorism,either, likely because he’s not a Muslim; the victims  are Muslims but the shooter is a home-grown, white, non-Muslim, French Canadian, so they’re just calling it a shooting instead of a terrorist attack and he’s just being charged with murder and not also terrorism charges. It was also clearly a hate crime but he hasn’t been charged with that,either, and he said he was “inspired” by Donald Trump’s policies. It will also be interesting to see how the media will try and “spin” this attack and try and blame it on the Muslims…

There are no words. I’m just so sick of all the hate. An American friend of mine on Facebook told me I’m “ignorant” too for “not seeing that Muslims are enemies that want to destroy us and that we should ban them and protect our borders” and I told him that refusing to hate isn’t being ignorant but rather it’s the other way around,and I refuse to hate. If you get so paranoid that you build walls, become divisive, fearful, and develop and Us VS Them mentality then the terrorists win. Trump banning people from mostly Muslim countries also reminds me of how it started with treatment of Jews in Nazi Germany. No one should be singled out, targeted, or “blacklisted” because of their faith.


screen-shot-01-18-17-at-12-45-pm Ever since the doctor examined my abdomen the other day, pressing in with his fingers(and it was really tender and hurt when he did) it’s still really crampy and I have this dull, dragging abdomenal pain, like a combination of period cramps and when you’re really constipated. I’ve had it for a few days now and it also always feels like I have to shit even though I don’t and even after I do. I still haven’t heard when my ultrasound appointment is to find out the cause of my abdomenal pain, heavy periods, ungodly cramps, and distended abdomen, but my first guess is something to do with the uterus, most likely either uterine or ovarian(and I did have an ovarian cyst YRS ago) cancer, or perhaps even endometriosis or pelvic inflamatory disease, but it could also be my appendix,too, or even an abdomenal aortic aneurysm with  such abdomenal pain, but whatever it is it would appear that the doctor poking and prodding it has worsened it, maybe he loosened something, aggravated something,or even ruptured something in there. Whatever he did pressing in on it has awakened a sleeping giant. Ugh!

screen-shot-01-18-17-at-02-16-pm Patti’s son ( Buddy’s former owner) and his wife also had their second baby a couple of days ago, another girl, just over 8 pounds, pictured here. They named her Everley. They must be disappointed though that it was another girl; I’m sure they were probably hoping for a boy, for one of each. I was lucky to have had a boy first (which I think is special) and then a girl……and then more….and more….and more…they just kept on coming….until I had my last child at 40 and then they finally stopped coming.

screen-shot-01-18-17-at-02-15-pm My friend A also posted this photo of him when he was a little kid. How cute is this? I love it when kids are babies and little kids but the problem is that they grow up to be teenagers and then they hate you. I read somewhere as well that if you shove weed up your yoo-hoo(like a supository) it helps cramps. I wonder if that’s really true or not? Maybe I should try it….I also hope I can finally get a hysterectomy once and for all which will end my pain, “Aunt Flow”, and whatever’s causing the issue in the first place. I no longer need it anyway, I just hope they don’t ask when I last had sex…. because do they mean with another person or by myself because if it’s with another person it’s been ages and I’m so embarrassed to admit that, even more embarrassed than to admit the things I do by myself with the vibrator!

Bob Dylan.

screen-shot-10-13-16-at-06-24-pm Bob Dylan has received a Nobel Prize. When I first heard it I said to myself, “Well, I know it can’t be for singing!” (It was for literature) He has got the worst singing voice ever, so “nasal” and whiny, he honestly sounds like a screeching cat in heat. This is actually something that my hubby and I both agree on and have in common; we can’t stand Bob Dylan’s singing! We always joked that it’s proof that people must have been high in the 60’s if they thought that he sounded good…..and so, I did a little “experiment”: after I smoked weed I listened to a couple of Bob Dylan songs that I found on YouTube…..and they actually didn’t sound as bad as they usually do and did  sound better than normal! The weed did actually affect how I was hearing the music! I wouldn’t go as far as to say he sounded good, but it wasn’t that bad. I realize after I smoke weed I can hear music on different frequencies and sounds plays at different speeds, often at slower speeds, so it must have altered the songs somehow so it sounded better than usual. The experiment was a success and proved why he was so popular in the 60’s: because everyone was always stoned and their hearing was altered! Some people say he shouldn’t have got it for literature as he’s not an author or poet, but when you really think about it, song lyrics are just poetry put to music….

As well, the lady next door had her baby, and her first one is just 11 months old(Irish Twins, ha,ha!) so they’re even closer together than my first and second, who are 13 months apart, and my guess is she probably thought that you can’t get pregnant while breastfeeding (surprise!!) and I over-heard the 15 and 17 YR olds talking about me behind my back,too,(flashbacks of Jr.High bullies all over again)and making fun of my blog post, and they were taunting and laughing at me for being upset  for feeling like in my family I’m always an inconvenience, a burden, a bother, and an after-thought, and always coming last, and I express my feelings on the blog and get out my hurt as my way to vent,grow, and to heal,and here they are ridiculing it,and if that’s how they feel about it then why do they even bother to read it then? No one’s forcing them to read it, and if the only reason they do is to poke fun of it(and to laugh at my expense) then that just says more about the kind of people they are.


Arabella Tatyana.

Screen Shot 08-20-16 at 07.25 PM I’ve been having these dreams for the past few months about a baby and also a little girl, but it’s the same person, who has dark brown hair and Down Syndrome.She looks alot like the girl in the photo here, it’s the closest that I could find. Her name is Arabella Tatyana….and she is my daughter. I ,however, don’t have any kids by that name and normally when I’ve had dreams like this it’s like a premonition of my future kids, those that are waiting to be born only now I know that it isn’t since I’m 49 YRS old and too old to have any more kids so I wonder who she is. Is she, perhaps, one of the 6 babies that I’ve miscarried? Is she reaching out to me, is she one of those that I’d lost? Or is she perhaps one of my spirit children that’s waiting for me in Heaven but that never had the chance to be born? In any case, it’s always the same girl, at different ages, aged from newborn to preschooler, and I feel connected to her, a bond, and that we will meet one day….

As well, yesterday in church I choked on the Eucharist(Jesus tried to kill me!) and I kept coughing and coughing, and I heard for the past couple of weeks coyotes have been spotted at the local park, the ones where the kids go to, and the 17 YR old said one of her friend’s parents bought him a Porsche…wow….now  that’s a sweet ride! All of her friends are rich and she has the right connections which is good as I don’t want the kids to be rednecks like most of the people in this burned-out town; I expect more,and better, from them.

The second-oldest left and is in Toronto now staying with a friend and she has a job interview as well at a private school as an English teacher, and the girls outgrew their bikes so we put them out the front of the house with a “free” sign and now they’re gone and I’m kind of sad, it’s nice to give them to people who may need them but also sad at the same time as it means the kids are growing up and  not little anymore; it’s the end of an era, and at my age I can’t tell either when I get all hot, sweaty,and sticky if it’s from the heat or if it’s “hot-flashes” from menopause starting…..

The Camera.

Screen Shot 07-18-16 at 12.41 PM This is the 15 YR

old’s new camera. It was supposed to be 600$ but she got it for 200$. She used all her own $$$$ that she’d saved up as well so it’s really all hers. That’s an incredible feat for her,too,as this is a kid that always spends all her $$$$ and goes into debt. It’s a really good camera as well with a great zoom and she can use it for her Instagram photos, for pictures for her blog, for her endless fabulous “Selfies”, for her YouTube videos, etc. It’s a really nice camera so I hope she takes good care of it. The 18 YR old also phoned me last night all the way from Alberta(long-distance!) just to “scold” me on why my blog post was late; he said I normally post it around the same time and he was waiting for the new post and it was late! The 9 YR old also is going to another Bible Camp all this week at another church, it’s like he’s “church-hopping”, but it’s all from the same Bible, and the kids are now caught up in the new “Pokemon Go” craze now too that’s been sweeping the globe, and that just was released here in this country over the weekend.

One of the kids’ friends(I’m not going to say who, or which friend as she doesn’t want her dad to find out, probably afraid he’ll beat her ass) also was pulled over by a cop as she arrived to visit; she was caught texting and driving and got a whopping 490$ fine!Naughty girl! Hopefully now she’s learned her lesson, but I can’t help but wonder too if the cop was pre-judging her (like how they do seeing black people and pull them over and “card” them based on their skin colour) seeing a young, attractive, sassy, rich girl with her own car and decided to make an “example” out of her and to make her “pay”….holy shit though, that’s alot of $$$$ and I couldn’t even afford to pay it! I’m glad I don’t drive! I don’t need that shit in my life.

One of the 17 YR old’s friends also came over and parked his bike in the back yard and he saw me swimming in the pool and he probably thought at first it was a hippo in the water(ha,ha) and he’s moving to Washington before the summer ends; his father’s a top pilot in the airforce and has even flown the Prime Minister! ……Wow…The 17 YR old’s also taking a university history course by correspondance(she shares my love of history, yay!)

Screen Shot 07-18-16 at 03.51 PM This is also my friend in Brazil’s baby, now 2 months old. Isn’t she just the cutest, sweetest, most *ADORABLE* little peanut ever? Too cute! The 13 YR old also thought “Black Flag Day” at camp( when it’s really hot and they get bused to meals instead of having to march) was called “Black PLAGUE Day” and our family is legendary at the Cadets camp,too, esp. the girls and everyone says to her, “Oh, you’re so-and-so’s sister!” and then she automatically becomes popular! My hubby snarked to me as well, “Don’t waste my time!” when I wasn’t doing something fast enough for him; he’s always so dismissive and condescending, but what can HE say about *me* wasting HIS time when HE’S wasted MY *LIFE*?

We had the pool water tested as well and it registered ZERO chlorine even though we’ve dumped LOADS into it(and the water’s still green)likely due to the sun “burning” it all off since it’s been so hot and now my hubby says he’s no longer putting any more $$$$ into it and not buying any more “shock” or any other chemicals for it, that it’s just a “waste” of $$$$ when it’s still green and I’m the only one that’ll swim in it(even though I swim in it every day) and my mother says it’s just a “money pit” and we’re not even going to open it next YR because only *I* use it and it’s not “worth” it for just me and it’s a “waste” of $$$$,and he says we should just fill it up with dirt.So I guess that *I* get lots of use out of it means nothing. I don’t count for anything.

The Baby.

Screen Shot 06-20-16 at 06.31 PM I had a dream last night that I had a baby, a girl( I am in the photo here prego with our youngest, who is now 9) which I know isn’t true since I’m still on “Aunt Flow”, plus at my age (49) the “plumbing” is now  broken and I’m too old for that shit now, but wouldn’t it be a “scream” it I ever DID have another baby though? There are worse things that could happen ,though; having cancer would be worse, having AIDS would be worse, being taken hostage by terrorists would be worse, being shot would be worse, etc…plus I couldn’t breast-feed anymore now since I’ve had the 2 breast reduction surgeries AND we’ve given  away all our baby stuff; all the baby clothing, cribs, car seats, playpen, etc. so we’d have to start all over again, and now the kids are older I’m practically “home-free” now  and I’m enjoying the idea of no more kids now and I can just take it easy and relax and enjoy things. It was just a dream, though, but it sure freaked me out just the same. I can’t even imagine…..

Screen Shot 06-20-16 at 07.14 PM Here is also the 15 YR old’s new manicure and I’m considering going and getting MY nails done now,too; I’ve never been to a nail salon before or had it done and it might be the “cure” I need for my nail-biting…. she also has this slushie cup that looks like a bong and it just cracks me up, esp. when she blows bubbles into it…..then I really start losing my shit….

BodhiAndKamarin and here is a sweet photo of the 21 YR old and his friend in California relaxing on the hammock. He comes back home Sunday and she returns with him and stays for the remainder of the summer. I just love this picture; it’s so cute,and you can just see the love in her eyes; the way she’s looking at him. I wish someone looked at me like that, too. We’re getting a big-ass storm rolling in any time now as well, incl. ping-pong-ball-sized hail and a tornado warning even came thru on the Emergency Broadcast network on the TV and I love a good thunderstorm at night when I’m snuggled in bed under my covers, but a tornado not so much….the 17 YR old was also laughing and having fun with her friends and it brought back happy nostalgic memories of my own teen YRS and I hope she cherishes these times and enjoys them now, and that she ponders them in her heart and keeps them as good memories to fondly look back on later, just as I did, and that now she realizes them for the happy times that they are and enjoys the moment.