Screen Shot 07-18-17 at 01.48 PM This is some of the 22 YR old extensive Dungeons & Dragons figurines. He got alot of them in California and he meticulously hand-paints them( they are originally just black) and adds fine details on them, painstaking work that I know I wouldn’t have the patience or the eyesight to do. He spends hours sitting at his workshop working on them.

Screen Shot 07-18-17 at 01.44 PM 002 This is his workshop which he has set up in the play room. He really is quite the creative artist and I think he could sell them and make lots of $$$$ but he said that would take the fun out of it, and besides, he couldn’t part with his creations that he made so lovingly.

Screen Shot 07-18-17 at 01.44 PM He also made the “grass” seen here. Originally it was a faux fur material the girls had to make vests and it was various shades of brown but he painted it with various shades of green and it turned out really well to become a savannah or grassy plains, or prairie, or whatever venue his battlefield calls for.

Screen Shot 07-18-17 at 01.43 PM 001 This is my fave: the trees! He also made these trees all by hand! The one of the left reminds me of bonsai tree. I think these are just amazing and he definitely has artistic talent ( like most of the kids do in one way or another; creative, by painting, drawing, music, writing, etc..) I also went swimming in my green pool, just like a hippo; they swim in green water, and despite all the vacuuming and chemicals we keep dumping into it I think it’s just something that we’ll have to learn to live with, green water. I’m the only one that will swim in it though, the kids are too ‘scared” but I know it’s clean with all the chemicals in it.

The 14 YR old also lost 4 pounds in a week, a major set-back that is concerning, likely due to being away at camp for 2 weeks where we weren’t able to monitor her eating, and just when she was almost at her ideal weight after 5 months in treatment….and now she’s back to going back every week! I just hope she’s not back to vomiting up her food again, or that being weaned off her meds isn’t allowing the eating disorder to take hold of her again. Just when we think she’s making progress….now this… I try to reach out to her as well but she always keeps pushing me away and sometimes I think she’s unreachable and beyond the point of no return, and it feels like I’ve lost her forever….. it breaks my heart.

My mother, the 22 YR old,and I also went to the Chinese buffet for her belated birthday dinner. I like it better at lunch though as the selection is better as they have more noodles and dumplings that I like which they don’t have at dinner, they have more meat dishes at dinner. Plus, my hubby took forever to pick us up and we were waiting for 45 minutes after we’d already finished eating for him to come pick us up and then after that we still had to drive all around while he did his errands and we were so late and so tired, it was exhausting and we were gone 4 HRS and we just wanted to go home. He always does that though; keeps us waiting for unreasonable times and doesn’t care if we’re tired or want to go home; it’s just only ever about his schedule and what he wants and it doesn’t occur to him what other people want or that they might have plans too or want to get right back, and he snarks that I ” don’t have anything to do anyway” so it doesn’t matter, he’s really quite inconsiderate.

Gravitas With Pogue Mahone.

screen-shot-10-01-16-at-02-51-pm Name one universal rule of friendship: You need to have loyalty and trust.


What are you going to do about growing old? Atrophy, wither away and die.


If you knew the truth, how would you reveal it?  On my blog!


We all hope there will be one more time. One more time for what? Finding love, romance,and happiness.


If you were going to launch a new prohibition, what would you outlaw? Abortion.


If you were to ask for Divine intervention, what would it be for?  World peace.


Why do we sometimes crave chaos? Life becomes too predictable and boring.


How do you stay clear of the rocks and shoals? Trying not to venture out too far .


When they say follow the fear, what fear are you following? Putting myself in social situations where I have to talk to people,mingle,and socialize.


Why should we hang on to our illusions? Sometimes our illusions are all we have to keep us half-sane and to keep us going and when we give up our dreams we die.


What would your father make of you now? He’d probably think he made the right decision in leaving us when I was 2 YRS old.


When do reality and fantasy merge? After a good bong hit.


What is your favourite recipe for unhappiness? Looking at myself in a mirror and scrutinizing all my flaws.


What takes you down the rabbit hole? Re-hashing all my failures ,disappointments, and misfortunes over and over again.


What increases your sense of reverence? When I feel God working in my life and I can look up and say, “I know that was you! Thanks!”

War Hammer.

WarHammer1 The 20 YR old got this kit of make-it-yourself tiny little men and tanks for a battle game called “War Hammer”. You get to mix and match and custom-make your own designs, armour and colours yourself to your own liking so that each piece is unique. When they’re all done you can then use the pieces to play a game with other players. I remember seeing an entire store in a mall in Ottawa that sold pieces for it. First they have to be assembled, piece by piece, meticulously gluing on the arms, legs, etc. and then they have to have several coats of base and paint. He is seen here delicately applying a bit of paint. It takes HRS and days and weeks to complete.

WarHammer2 Here it shows how small they are. They are built here( they come on “sheets” of parts you have to take off and assemble) are now they are awaiting to be coated. They remind me of those little green army men my cousins had when we were kids. Of course being us with our bad luck there was a critical part missing; an entire sheet which incl. the most important part for one of the tanks so he called them to send out a replacement but of course they were closed over the weekend so he will try again later today when he gets home from work. He was so pissed off( I don’t blame him) We really ARE cursed! These kinds of things always happen to me,too. We *ALWAYS* end up being that unlucky and rare one-out-of-a-million  that ends up with the defective product, or where parts are missing or broken.Every.Single.Time. Guaranteed.

DQBlizzard Guess what? After 2 days of looking here at DQ for the pumpkin pie Blizzard and they were always sold out my hubby was in another town doing whatever he was doing and checked there and they HAD(they don’t have anything here!)it so I finally got it! It was a large one which I also shared with the 8 and 12 YR olds. SOOOOO yum-yum! The 20 YR old’s friend in California also said she hopes to come up here and visit us over Christmas( and it will be her first visit to a foreign country,too!) so her coming to this shit-hole will be “slumming” and I wonder what she’ll think of the cold, the winter, and the snow?At least she still gets to leave after though; I’M still stuck here!

The 20 YR old’s hair grew so much and so wild as well it was sticking up and out all over it almost looked like a white guy’s Afro so I gave him a haircut,and I was thinking if reincarnation really WAS real I’d like to come back again as a hippo(naturally) and in church yesterday there was a guy sitting behind me that looked like he was in the Russian mafia and he had on this cologne that made me wild, and the kids now like to go to the 11 am Sunday Mass(they don’t like going with me as I always go, “Shhhh!” and don’t let them talk) but I still go to the 5 pm one as I prefer it as it’s just less of a rush but the odd time I have to go at 11 am if I have to go out later.

GRAVITAS Questions.

Gravitas 1. What tools have allowed you to survive this cut-throat world?

– My complete and utter faith in God. Without His providence I never would have endured, survived,and overcome all the traumas in my life.


2. How are we ruled by our hormones?

– Ovulation time. During monthly ovulation the female body is hard-wired to want to mate. Men on the other hand are good to go anytime.


3. How do you know the order of things?

– Trial and error. Social conditioning. Adapting to life. Your social environment. By watching others. Survival.


4. Why is fun over-rated?

– People wrongly think that they need alcohol to “have a good time”. Instead of calling being drunk for what it really is they try to sugar-coat it by using other words and giving it other names such as “having fun”, “just having a good time”, “having a few drinks”, “partying”,etc. Now “fun” is almost always equated with something sinful and wrong. Innocent fun almost always doesn’t even exist anymore.


5. An example of what people believe to get them thru the day:

– That all things must pass, that tomorrow is another day, that tomorrow has to be better, that things will change, that things can’t possibly get any worse…


6. Why should we feel more and think less?

– Sometimes we can over-think  things and make things more complicated than they need to be. Sometimes things just DON’T make sense; they just ARE. There are times where you just have to go with your heart or with your gut-feeling.


7. What magic elixir would you like to create?

– A formula that erases all bad memories.


8. What gets you blissed out?

– Sitting outside in the sun, listening to birds and crickets, and smelling wildflowers, or floating along the waves of the ocean.


9. How would you like to harness your excess  body heat?

– Save it up from summer for winter and use it when I get cold.


10. One example of a mixed blessing in life:

– One relationship ends but if it hadn’t then you would never have ended up meeting the right person later on.


11. Name one universal rule of friendship:

– Don’t date your friend’s “ex.”


12. Give one example of a hidden gem:

–   A child with Down Syndrome.


13. With benefit of hindsight, name one thing you would do differently:

– I wouldn’t have had kids if I knew what it would be like ahead of time.


14.What do you wish your mom understood about you?

– That I can’t help my Asperger’s and other limits and it’s wrong of her to blame me and hate me for it.


15. What would you like to have permission for?

– To be able to get a Chihuahua.

Would You Rather….?

WouldYouRather Before I tuck the 9 YR old in bed at night we have “Cuddle Time” and  play games such as “Truth Or Dare?” “I Spy With My Little Eye…”, “What Would You Rather Do?” etc. so here are some questions that we’d use:


– Eat a barf smoothie or a diarrhrea smoothie?

– Kiss a hairy butt crack or a sweaty arm pit?

– Lick a pig or kiss a hippo?

– Never watch your fave. TV show ever again or never listen to your fave. music ever again?

– Drink a glass of water with salt in it or pepper in it?

– Eat an earwig or a cockroach?

– Eat dirt or rocks?

– Go naked on a bus or in church?

-Prostitute yourself or commit theft?

– Eat liver or fish eyes?

– Stick your tongue to a frozen metal pole or in a mouse trap?

-Swallow a live goldfish or a live worm?

– Sleep in a Dumpster or in a pig’s pen?

– Shave your head or your eyebrows?

– Eat a dog or a cat?

– Eat a booger or ear sap?

– Cut off a finger or a toe?

-Go blind or deaf?

– Get a paper cut on your tongue or in your eye?


As well, I STILL have my incapacitating headache( I forget what day it is now, 5, 6, or 7, something like that…) and I’ll be really mad if the MRI results come back inconclusive as I’ll never have any answers or end to my suffering and the headaches will be forever and my brain decline will keep getting worse if there’s no known cause and no cure, and I had a prayer request for a family who just 2 days before thought their 6 YR old was just sick with a stomach flu but it ended up being a bowel obstruction and she DIED and now it haunts me and I can’t stop thinking about it and it scares me; if it can happen that suddenly to HER, maybe it can happen to MY kids,TOO, and the 9 YR old told the 5 YR old that he “needs a hearing aid” because he didn’t hear her and he goes,”Instead of lemonade?” and when we were laughing he says,”What’s so funny?”That kid cracks me up!

I also heard my hubby telling the kids that he’s my “biggest regret” so he obviously reads my diary or my blog even though he told ME that he doesn’t, so he LIED, and my 14 YR old blamed my bad luck on me saying my “negativity” “causes” it and I “make my OWN ‘luck'” which I resent and find hurtful and insulting; I’m negative because my life and constant bad luck has MADE me that way; when bad things always keep happening to me and to have more than my share of misfortune it’s hard NOT to be and I did NOT “cause” myself to be ugly, to be bullied and abused, to have Asperger’s and Social Phobia, to have our house fire,to have an enemy chase us from our home, to have our son have cancer, and other medical problems we’ve faced, for financial problems, etc. and I resent being told it’s my fault. I certainly didn’t “ASK” for it or want it and I can’t help but BE negative when that’s pretty much all I GET in life and it’s hard to see the “bright” side when I so  rarely GET it! It’s bad enough all the shit I’ve had to endure but to imply that I somehow “bring” it on MYSELF and that my attitude “causes” it  makes it all the much worse and only adds insult to injury!