Screenshot_882 The joint I ordered from the official gov’t cannabis site finally arrived! It took almost 2 weeks….and it ended up being this piddly tiny little thing, smaller than my little finger, and with taxes and shipping it costs a whopping 16 $ for just the one! I got ripped-off! I feel so cheated and it came in this big long tube(seen here) too and made me think I was getting this Big Fatty…..and then when you see the small dinky little thing inside….almost half of it filter…(kind of “fancy” though as I’ve never had a joint with a filter before but even so, it’s like getting a bag of chips and it’s half full of air). Disappointment didn’t even begin to describe how I felt. It was like when I was a kid and I sent away for those Sea Monkeys at the back of a comic book and eagerly awaited their arrival only to find they didn’t work and all I got was a bunch of cloudy water.

Never again. I’m still sticking with my regular supplier. I should have known anything from the gov’t would be over-priced, a rip-off, half-assed and take forever. They started off ripping off the Native people and now they rip-off everyone else, too, and now with legalized weed they have just simply found yet another way to cheat us, rip us off and over-charge us somehow. I’m so mad and now I hate this country even more than I already did before and should send them a nasty scathing complaint letter. Maybe I should even send a shit bomb to Parliament Hill?

The only good thing was that whatever rolling paper they used was slow-burning so at least I got to slowly enjoy it. Originally I was going to save it for an emergency, but I’m never too good at saving things; whenever I get something new, esp. a treat, whether it’s a donut, a new magazine, a joint, or whatever, I can rarely contain my excitement and enthusiasm and I end up eating/reading/using/doing it right away; I can’t wait and I can’t save it, and besides, it was a bad day and I needed to de-stress.There’s just something extra relaxing about laying back and taking long slow drags off a joint and blowing out the smoke and just enjoying the moment, like a little temporary escape from the chaos of life. I had such a bad day as well I really needed an escape. When I came inside the 24 YR old quipped, as the smell of weed wafted past, Is Snoop Dogg in the house?

When the guys were out they forgot the yogurt for the 15 YR old(again!) and ever since her eating disorder I still have to meticuously make sure she gets enough to eat and all the right nutrients at the right times and the right amounts and monitor her intake  to try and prevent a relapse, and they went out again and I told them to be back at 6 pm for dinner and of course they never bothered and didn’t return until hours later,disregarding me yet again, and they also got me the wrong wrap too so I never had lunch, and then the 17 YR old was really mouthy, insulting,name-calling disrespectful, nasty, defiant and talking back and being a bitch(I’m being abused by my kids, too!!) when I told her to do something and she refused and basically bragged I have no authrotity over her and I can’t make her do anything and of course my hubby agreed and backed her up and then he starts ripping into me that  never shut up and keep going on and on about everything all the time, and repeating myself even though no one ever listens or hears me and I have no voice or say and I’m never heard. Maybe if they actually took the time to listen  what I have to say(and do what they’re told!) the first time I wouldn’t have to.

I also had the thought cross my mind, being just so fed up with my family, my life, being so unhappy for so long and not seeing any hope or improvement or any end to it, Why wait until Buddy dies (he is my best friend, my joy, and my lifeline and without him I have nothing left to live for, to keep me going) to kill myself? Why not just do it now? What am I waiting for? but then I figured, Then I lose and they win. That’s what they want.

Remembrance Day.

Screen Shot 11-11-17 at 08.50 AM I don’t glorify the military; I remember, honour,and pray for the innocent VICTIMS of war and for an end to all wars.I pray for PEACE. This is why I refuse to wear a red poppy like the rest of the sheeple and don’t celebrate Remembrance Day. I DON’T celebrate, glamorize, support, encourage, glorify, romanticize, commemorate, honour, respect, or praise the military, killing,and war.

Pay To Pray.

Screen Shot 08-01-17 at 08.14 PM I read an article a Jewish journalist wrote and he said that it’s expensive to be Jewish,  and that’s why He thinks many Jews are Jews in name only but not actually practicing their faith, such as going to synagogue. He said that to go to the synagogue and attend religious services you actually have to pay a membership fee, sort of like at a country club, costing into the thousands of dollars a year, and that to attend the holy days (such as Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashannah) you have to buy a ticket, at the cost of hundreds of dollars, pricing many people out. I was really surprised and never knew that. Unlike the Christian and Muslim places to worship where your monetary contribution is voluntary, and you’re not prevented from attending because you can’t afford the membership fee. I’ve never heard anything like it and I think it’s sad. I had no idea. Seems discriminatory to me.Only for those with $$$$. The Old Marxist in me is pissed-off.

I don’t think that you should have to pay to pray. In our church we’re obligated to donate 10% of our income but we’re not audited(although in the Mormon church they do; they actually audit you where once a year the bishop sits each congregation member down in his office and reviews his finances to make sure their tithing is all “up to date” and if you haven’t paid the full 10% you can’t go to the temple) or prevented from worshipping if you don’t donate or pay a certain amount. I think that’s awful. What about the devout but poor widow? or the pensioner? or the immigrant? or the single parent? or the large family? or the guy that got laid off? I’m sure that there are many devoutly religious who are being prevented from going to the temple due to financial restrictions and that only the wealthy can afford memberships at the Jewish synagogues just makes me sad and I feel badly for the others and I try to imagine how I’d feel if I’d have to pay something like 1500$ a yr to go to church and then hundreds of $$$$ extra to go to Christmas and Easter Masses? I think it should be on a voluntary basis and you give what you can afford,without being called-out on it, shamed, made to feel guilty or cheap, and to worship freely, as God loves us without price. Whatever you choose to tithe should be between you and God.

As well, I got stung by a wasp! I was just laying out in the sun, minding my own business, and the mean little f*cker just landed on my leg and stung me for no reason! Now it’s all swollen up to a big bump  the size of a hard-boiled egg so I took a Benadryl. I also saw a cute little brown rabbit hopping around the neighbour’s yard and I’ve seen them in our own backyard at times, too, just wild, we had a BBQ as well and it was Buddy’s lucky day too because my hubby accidently dropped 3 hotdogs so guess who got them, and the 18 YR old also visited from camp.

Canadian Values.

screen-shot-09-20-16-at-01-20-pm There is a politician here that hopes to run for leader of the Conservative party( and I’m not going to dignify the bigot by saying her name) and she has this assinine idea, which is eerily very similar to Donald Trump’s of “vetting” immigrants, that is, having them pass a “test”, or a questionnaire, where they have to answer in a certain way in order to be accepted and allowed into the country, as she calls it, to “prove” that they “share ” so-called “Canadian values”….which also happen to incl. abortion and same-sex ‘marriage!” which, of course, many people do not agree with, esp. those coming from the more conservative countries, esp. the Muslim ones, so this is really nothing more than a thinly-veiled way to “screen” for and keep out Muslims…and why…. because they don’t agree with baby-killing and sodomy? Give me a break!. Some ‘values!”

I think this is an awful idea, very discriminatory, very Big Brother, and also not very effective; afterall, people will just lie and tell them what they want to hear anyway, whether they actually believe it or not, they’ll just say whatever , to get into the country, so how is this supposed to work, exactly?  I would also think as well once the would-be immigrants find out how blatantly this country does embrace, encourage, glorify,and promote sin and immorality(as well as racism) that they’d change their minds and not want to come,afterall, knowing what they’re getting into, and would actually be better off staying where they are.

If they’re worried about keeping out terrorists, a stupid idea like this isn’t going to stop them,anyway; they’ll always find a way in, and in trying to keep out terrorists it shouldn’t also be at the expense of the honest and good immigrants that apply and such fear-mongering just creates division and an Us VS Them mentality that only angers and fuels the terrorists and their motives even more as it makes them and other cultures feel “outside” of society, like they are an “other” and not  welcomed, accepted, or assimilated, and giving in  to xenophobia, racism, and hatred and fear of foreigners  means that the terrorists win.

People Suck.

BestWay I FINALLY got a hold of my BFF (she never did call me back; I called her again) and told her I could come into the city Tuesday when my hubby is going in for work…and then she said how she has all these app’t’s AGAIN, just like last week, the accountant, the cable guy, the optometrist, going to Costco, etc.. and wouldn’t even clear her schedule for me even though she knows I hardly go up( only twice a YR or so) and didn’t even want to bother to make the time to see me and wouldn’t re-book her app’t’s for next week and even suggested I just tag along with her on her errands but what kind of visit is THAT? I was hoping we’d have FUN like we used to; maybe spend the day at the mall or have a spa day or something like that…

My hubby snorts what do I want, to spend time with her or to have fun…..but why can’t it be BOTH? (and I refuse to “settle” or to sell myself short anymore,either)Our time together should be enjoyable quality time and following her around on errands is hardly “fun” and it’s a 2 HR drive for me( each way) to visit her,too, so you’d think she’d be more accommodating to see me, and if someone comes up to see you(and esp. if they travel far) it should be  expected that you’d go out of your way  to spend time with them and ensure that their visit is enjoyable but I guess we have different ideas about friendship,and to think that just last YR when we thought she might have had cancer I was even  willing to drop everything  and go up and stay with her as long as she needed to take care of her.

I’m hurt that our friendship doesn’t mean enough to her (and doesn’t mean the same to her as it does to me)that she’d put any effort into it and that her errands mean more and take priority and she wasn’t willing to alter her schedule to allow me to visit, but of course I never mentioned my deep disappointment to either my mother or my hubby as I know they wouldn’t support me anyway just like they never do with anything.It hurts I’m never a “priority” for anyone,either, just an after-thought ,second best,a last resort, or better than nothing, but nothing ever worth making an effort for or worth fighting for.

People are so disappointing.

Transgender Bathrooms.

Trans There has been coverage in the media lately people outraged  and protesting that in some places transgendered people have to use the bathrooms  which matches what’s on their birth certificate as opposed to the gender they identify with, but I agree; it’s quite simple, really: you should go in the bathroom that matches with what you’ve got in your pants: if you have a todger in-between your legs and you pee standing up then you belong in the men’s bathroom and if you have ladybits and pee sitting down then you belong in the ladies bathroom, period. It’s not a hard concept. I don’t like the idea of men in the women’s bathroom where little girls would be put at risk at being molested by perverts. Whether it be by the actual transgenders or others taking advantage of the loophole it makes no difference; men should NOT be in the women’s bathroom and I think kids’ safety should come before LGBT rights.

Until and unless the transition is complete (then it’s a different story)anyone with a man’s parts belongs in the men’s bathroom and another option could also be a third separate bathroom for transgendered people. That’s my opinion. It’s nothing against transgendered people; it’s my concern about little girls getting molested in the bathroom if men are allowed in the women’s bathroom! Even if a man is dressed up like a woman if he still has a tallywacker then he’s still a man. It’s like me saying I’m a bear, thinking I’m a bear and dressing up in a bear costume but that still doesn’t mean I AM a bear or make me a bear….you can play dress up and play pretend all you want but it still doesn’t actually change the fact of what you *really* are…imagining being something in your head and in reality can be vastly different things.

As well, the 18 YR old bought a guitar and is now learning how to play and music is very therapeutic, and all of the kids are artistic and creative; they are all good artists and can draw exceptionally well, and the 14 YR old can also play guitar and the 19 YR old is gifted at piano, and both the 12 and 16 YR olds take dance and the 16 YR old also paints and writes as well. I’m glad they’re into the arts instead of redneck stuff like sports! Whew! The 14 YR old’s cheerleading squad also came in Second place in their division at the Nationals competition in Niagara Falls on the weekend!

My hubby is in Toronto for work today,too, and I was going to go into the city and visit my BFF( ever since we were 12) as well except she has 3 appointments today but we made a plan to do it another time when she’s not as busy, and I was walking Buddy and I found 20$! It was just laying folded up on the sidewalk and there was no one around anywhere; we were the only ones out there in the rain( so there was no way to find who might have dropped it)…I couldn’t believe my good fortune! This has only happened to me once before, when I was 12 or 13! I was sooooo happy! To me(since I’m “broke”) this is alot of $$$$$ and almost like winning the lottery! Of course my hubby just HAD to try and RUIN my joy too by saying it was the 18 YR old’s; that he’d ” just lost 20$” when really he didn’t(I asked him); he just wanted to burst my bubble and take away my happy moment. He’s such an asshole.

Blog Notice!

Notice I got informed from the blog powers that be at WordPress that ads will soon be visible on my blog….unless I pay an annual fee of 30$ to block them, which I haven’t got the $$$$ to spare. I’m not happy about this, of course, as I detest ads, but what can I do? I just haven’t got the $$$$ to put into it, just as I haven’t got the 100$ a YR to upgrade the blog and “go pro” (as much as I enjoy blogging),either. I just do as much as I can for free. So there you have it. Sorry. I know, it sucks. 

I hate it,too.

I just wanted to let you know that it wasn’t me or my doing. That I haven’t sold out or “gone commercial”.

St.Augustine And Our Son.

 It deeply concerns me that our 17 YR old has turned his back on God. He has turned his back on religion, faith, and morality as well. He only goes to church because it’s a rule in our house; you live here, you go to church.I know once he moves out he’ll stop going. He said he’s an atheist and he doesn’t even believe in God and that the Bible is a “book of myths” and that God is an “invisible sky daddy”, and that “religion is for stupid people”,etc. He also delights in mocking my faith and it worries me that when he dies that he’ll go to Hell and be eternally separated from God. I pray every day that he comes to his senses and comes back to God and to his faith. I pray this atheist thing is just a phase or that he’s just doing it to piss me off. I pray every day that he returns to God before it’s too late. It reminds me of St. Augustine and his mother St. Monica. He was a godless pagan and heathen and he lived a dissolute hedonistic life,had a mistress and even fathered an illigitimate child. and his mother was a godly woman who prayed for his conversion daily.He seemed as hopeless and far gone as my son, but his mother’s faithful prayers over the years worked: he was converted and became one of the greatest Saints! I am hoping it will be the same with my son. It’s never too late; people can change and miracles can happen. People have fallen away from their faith before and have returned…

I am concerned for my cousin and his brothers as well; they never knew God and grew up without religion or morals and now have immoral lifestyles incl. sex and drugs and are headed away from Heaven when they die as well, and all I can do is pray for them, but I grew up without a religious upbringing as well but unlike them I  still WAS always spiritual and still always had a strong faith and love of God  and worshipped on my own until I was able to start going to church by myself  at 13, whereas they never had the desire or the inclination and now they, like my son, mock religion and God, and say blasphemous things(such as “Church is a place where you worship a guy that was a zombie that turns into a cracker”),which I think is even worse than merely just not believing.It really pains my heart to think they will be eternally separated from God unless they repent and change their ways,and it’s sad that they were never exposed to it or taught how; religion and the love of God is the best gift that you can teach and offer a child; the gift of salvation, faith, hope, and love; to raise your kids for Heaven.


As well, I saw on the news about a Walk For CANINE Cancer; seriously, people? For DOGS? Get your priorities straight! With only so many resources around raise money for HUMAN welfare; don’t waste it on animals; put it to better use, like for helping people like the 19 YR old autistic boy functioning at a 3 YR old level I read about where he will no longer be in residential care as  he has “aged out” and the funding is no longer there and his parents can no longer handle him at home and have already spent over 750 000$ of their own $$$ and sold their home taking care of him,and he will now end up homeless on the street; fund raise and help PEOPLE that are in desperate  need, not waste it on animals when there is  so much human suffering that needs addressing and should come first! There is also this  energy company that China has offered to buy and the company execs and shareholders have agreed to the buy out but for some weird reason the gov’t has to approve it before it can happen….what the hell? What kind of fascist country IS this anyway? Why does the gov’t have to approve of  the sale of a PRIVATE company?This stupid country has always been against foreign investment! Canada SUCKS!

My daily headaches are also back again; the pills only worked for a little while, and it’s tiresome  that my hubby and I just co-exist and merely tolerate eachother, we hate eachother and always fight, and will just  grow angry, bitter, old, and die, and it’s sad that I’ll have lived my entire life never being loved  or knowing love.


 I heard the stupid Politically Correct morons are now trying to re-write traditional  Christmas stories removing Santa’s smoking a pipe as kids might start smoking pipes to imitate him and worry that he might die of lung cancer because he smokes. I think this is just ridiculous; he’s an old man that smokes a pipe(like my uncle was) that’s the tradition; why do those Politically Correct morons have to go and ruin it for? What next, will they say it’s unhealthy for him to be fat(and say he’ll develop diabetes)  and put him on a diet and make him thin now,too? Where does it end?

Here is a list of other things I think are incredibly stupid as well:

Political Correctness: why re-name things and change everything,stifling freedom of speech and expression, and always be walking on eggshells all the time for fear of offending people? People are too sensitive and need to just get over it.Say it like it is and if you’re offended too bad.

The word “homophobia.” The word “phobia” in the proper context means to have a fear of something(such as “germophobia” means fear of germs, and so on) and so  “homophobia” should mean one who is afraid of homosexuals and homosexuality but instead they use it to incorrectly describe anyone who simply doesn’t agree with homosexuality and they use it in a bigoted  and hateful way to slander anyone who doesn’t agree with them.

When I go on a diet I’ve actually GAINED weight!

Clothing and accessories for dogs.

Treating animals like(and in many cases better than) people.

Dogs love to stick their heads out of car windows and feel the breeze on their faces yet they hate it when you blow on their faces.

Paying 699$ and up for the new iPhone 5,proving people have more money than brains.

Camping out overnight to be the first in line to purchase concert tickets, meet the Queen, buy a new product, get the latest gadget,etc.

That we have to pay for our garbage pick up twice here; first thru our taxes and then 2$ per bag on the tags we have to affix on each bag of garbage we put out on the curb for pick up.

Going to a restaurant and paying a small fortune for the same food you could  just as easily make at home for a fraction of the cost yourself.

Animals have more rights and legal protection than people, for example it’s legal(although still morally wrong) to abort a baby but illegal to abuse an animal.

Here if you’re caught drinking and driving you just lose your license for 24 HRS. In other countries they’re smarter: you go to jail 5-10 YRS.

Banning plastic bags due to pressure from the Enviro-Nazis.

Regular TV shows always being pre-empted for redneck sports.

Getting a longer jail sentence for killing an animal than killing a person: I read in the news a guy got 10 YRS in jail for killing a raccoon but another guy only got 5 YRS for manslaughter for killing a person.

Taxi meters are already  running and you have to pay like 5$ before you even get in the cab!

Schools are allowed to teach about gay sex but NOT about God or religion.

You have to check-in the airport 3 HRS before your flight. Why always so frickin’ EARLY? Who really wants to spend 3 HRS ahead of time in the airport? Do we REALLY have to get there THAT early?

The gov’t’s trying to ban smoking but not alcohol when it’s society’s biggest ill.

Schools DO allow Hallowe’en parties(which glorify Satan and the demons) but ban Christmas parties(which honour God.)

Christians that celebrate Hallowe’en when the Bible clearly states we are to avoid everything to do with the occult.

Learning calculus in highschool when it’s pretty much useless and you’re never going to even use in the real world unless you end up becoming a math professor.