The Flag.

NewfieFlag One of the neighbours has this flag flying on their front porch and I’d wondered what it was as I didn’t recognize the country and normally I’m really good with geography and know countries’ flags but this one had me stumped…..until I just happened to see it on the news the other day…..it turned out it’s the provincial flag of Newfoundland(so I guess they must be Newfies!) boy, am I dumb! I have to admit I don’t really know most of the provincial flags that well, other than Ontario, Quebec,and Nova Scotia. My hubby didn’t know what it was either,though(so I’m not the *only* dummy!) and if I was to fly a flag I’d probably fly the Jamaican flag for Bob Marley. (YRS ago I used to have the old Soviet flag in my bedroom back in the 80’s) They’re also considering changing part of the national anthem to accommodate Political Correctness changing “sons” to “us” to incl. women even though it’s understood to mean everyone, like how “mankind” means “humankind”. Political Correctness is just sooooo stupid it’s ridiculous,and,in fact, when I’d first heard about it I actually thought it was a joke!

As well, when my mother went out the front door she found a raccoon rifling thru the recycling box which surprised her as they normally don’t come out until it’s dark at night(maybe it slept in?) and the furnace guy came and took a photo of our A/C to be able to order the new part but my mother said if it’s too old(we had it put in 13 YRS ago when we bought the house) and they can’t FIND the part and we have to get a whole new unit that she won’t as we just don’t have the $$$$$ as it costs at least 5000$ so we’ll just be sweltering to death and die of heatstroke this summer…..and it’s supposed to be a *REALLY* hot one,too, 10 degrees hotter than normal! It figures! Just OUR “luck!”

I was also woken up at 5 am with a splitting headache unlike any I’ve had before; it was hard to define and I wondered if I was going to have an aneurysm or something(and maybe that’s how I’d even die?) and the 13 YR old was cleaning and found 50$, and one of my make up brushes mysteriously showed up back in the bathroom after it had disappeared,too, and one of the 20 YR old’s childhood friends is getting married on the weekend as well and I can still remember when she was just a little kid and now she’s all grown up and getting married so that really makes me feel old! It’s funny too the difference just a YR can make in someone’s life as well as last YR at this time she had her highschool prom and graduated highschool….and this YR at the same time now she’s finished her first YR of university and now she’s getting married! They’ve only been dating since December,too!

Cancer Bear.

GreenBear Today I introduce to our 7th child, our 15 YR old.He’s in grade 10 and isn’t sure yet what he wants to do but he is interested in medicine. He likes green, bears (his fave. toy is “Good Green Bearby” a green stuffed bear I bought for him at the hospital gift shop when he was first diagnosed with cancer 8 YRS ago) computer and video games (esp. “MineCraft”) “Magic the Gathering” card game, Jiu-jitsu, “Nova”, “The Big Bang Theory”, “Dr. Who”, “Degrassi”, puzzles, Sudoku, loud music, etc. He’s also mouthy,rude, and obnoxious( otherwise known as a typical teenage boy) and he’s the one that I worry about the most, the reason being that he almost died 3 times: once before he was born, when he was born,and when he was 7 YRS old. While I was 10 weeks prego with him I started hemmoraging(as it turned out it kept on and off for the next 10 weeks) so heavy that it soaked thru my mattress and I had miscarriages before and I was sure he was gone( and this bleeding was even heavier) but he wasn’t; when I went to the ER they found a heartbeat but gave him a 50-50 chance of survival and said if I wanted to save the pregnancy I had to be on bed rest for a week in hopes the bleeding would let up. As it turned out there was a huge blood clot in-between the placenta and the cervix. He did survive that initial scare but then at 35 weeks I started massive bleeding again and also expelled the huge clot(the size of an apple by then) and I didn’t feel him moving so I took an ambulance to the hospital, fearing he was stillborn(or close to it), but he was born the next day, a preemie, not breathing, and flopped out blue and had to be revived and spent a week in the NICU with several periods where he’d stop breathing. We even had the priest come and baptize him right there because we weren’t sure if he’d survive. Those were very perilous times but God kept him safe and got us thru a very stressful and worrisome time.

Then when he was 7 YRS old he had leukemia and when he was diagnosed(he didn’t have the “typical” symptoms; I just had this nagging “feeling” that he had it I’m sure was a “whisper” from God) his blood counts were so critically low they said he was within days of dying of a brain bleed or a heart attack as his platelets and hemoglobin were so low (and he’ll always have a heart murmur due to it) and he endured 2 1/2 YRS of chemo and is now in remission but due to the possibility of relapse I can never really breathe easy (and he has annual check-ups for the rest of his life to monitor it)and I always have a diligent paranoia when it comes to him now due to the precarious pregnancy I had with him, his traumatic birth and the cancer; now every time he gets a fever, a headache, a nosebleed, is tired( and if he naps during the day I go absolutely ape-shit) bruise, or is sick I am fearful with panic and worry that the cancer’s back, whereas before I would have thought it was a virus or just comes with being a kid but the ordeal has forever changed the way I think, react, and process things now, and my entire perception is different. I worry about the health, safety,and well-being of ALL of my kids but I esp. worry about his because he has been thru so much and has given me the most concern medically.

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As well, we got a pack of chicken breasts that was supposed to have 8 in it but we only got 7 and we ALWAYS get the “shit” of everything; the one with the missing piece/s, the defective one, the recalled one, the broken one, etc. it’s like we really ARE cursed,  my mother snickered gleefully to me about the 10 YR old (because she got me the wrong calender) “So I guess you don’t like HER now?” and I told her, “No, unlike YOU, I DON’T hold grudges forever and hate people for the rest of their lives just because they do something that I don’t like!” and someone( I suspect the kids) either lost or threw out my toothbrush again and it’s always MY stuff that gets lost, “misplaced” or thrown out and I’m sick of everyone always disrespecting my stuff!

In church yesterday they sang the national anthem as well and I refused to sing it in a defiant silent act of political protest: I won’t sing to honour a country that I hate, that has screwed me over, and wish I could leave(it feels phony and hypocritical to do so), and the Tom Petty song “American Girl” lyric sounds just like me and how I feel(even though I’m not American) about Canada,too, and how I wish I could live elsewhere: “She couldn’t help thinkin’ there was a little more to life somewhere else after all it was a great big world with lots of places to run to and if she had to die tryin’ she had one little promise she was gonna keep.” and today’s Remembrance Day and I think of and pray for the innocent VICTIMS of war and NOT for the military  who nowadays wage unjust wars such as in Iraq and Afghanistan and I refuse to wear a red poppy like a “sheeple” who mindlessly just follow the herd,and I’ve never gone along with the crowd anyway.