One Wish.

screen-shot-01-29-17-at-02-36-pm I  like to think that when you die everyone can leave one wish for the world. If so, mine would be love and peace and an end to hate and war and in doing so it would also end poverty, homelessness,and hunger because if you love people and care about people and see them as your friend instead of your enemy, as your brother instead of as an other, and love your neighbour like Jesus teaches us to do then naturally we will want well-being for all. That would be my wish that I’d wish for the world. As for my wish for my own family, I wish that they still keep going to church and homeschooling; that they don’t stop once I die, and I want to die listening to Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah and on a tropical beach feeling the sun on my face or cozy and warm in my bed with Buddy curled up next to me. Buddy was acting really weird yesterday,too; all last night he slept glued right next to my leg and all day he kept whining and pawing at my arm,and he even sat in front of me, barking and whining, as if he sensed something bad was going to happen, and he was by my side constantly, even more than usual, almost as if he were guarding me, so I wonder if he can sense that I’m going to have a seizure perhaps, or I’m even dying soon?

The 22 YR old’s GF goes back home to California today after 6 weeks here and she joked she should convert Muslim so they won’t let her back in(with Trump’s anti-Muslim policy, not letting people in from Muslim countries) even though she’s American and they’re letting their own people in,and if she actually said that they’d probably shoot her or something, or send her to Guantanamo Bay! The 13 YR old also said about Trump de-funding abortion( which is actually something good he did) it’ll make it “unsafe”….well, hate to tell ya,kid, but abortion’s never “safe”….spoiler alert: the baby always dies in the end,and if she means the mother, anyone who’s callous enough to kill an innocent baby , her own child,deserves whatever happens to her…..it’s called KARMA.

I also noticed how skinny the lady on the TV news was( and the camera adds  weight, so imagine how skinny she must be in real life?) so I yelled at the TV, “Wait until you have kids or until you’re in your 40’s! It won’t last so enjoy it now while you can!” and my  hubby snarled about my iPod to “turn off your stupid music” so I told him, “You’re stupid!” and then he got really mad and said I “take it personally” but it was personal; it was directed at something of mine, therefore a reflection of me, yet when I give it to him he can’t take it, and about Buddy he smirked, “Look up the definition of ‘dumb dog’ and you’ll see a picture of him!”( actually he’s quite smart) so I replied, “Who? Of you?” Whenever he hurts or insults me or someone I love  I don’t take it but I give it right back to him,and then he chortled about me “always blasting my big mouth off.” I don’t know why he thinks he can talk to me like that and treat me like that, belittling me and putting me down but whenever I say anything back he gets so mad. I guess that’s just the way abuse and bullying works.

Buddy.

buddy22 I got a scare yesterday morning when I woke up: I couldn’t find Buddy! I mean I couldn’t find him anywhere! He sleeps in bed with me but sometimes he’ll jump off and go on the floor and burrow under blankets on the floor but he wasn’t there. I remember that sometime during the night someone( I presume one of the kids) banged loudly on my bedroom door while I was asleep, waking me up momentarily, and then laughed and ran downstairs, and when I woke up in the morning my mother told me that sometime during the night she saw Buddy coming down the stairs, he somehow got out of my room even though I keep the door closed at night so he doesn’t wander, so I guess whoever banged on my door must have opened it and he got out so the 15 YR old brought him back up.

So I was looking all over for him, under the blankets on the floor, under my bed, in the kids‘ rooms, thinking maybe one of them might have stolen him during the night and taken him into their bed with them, in his dog bed/pillow in the livingroom, under the couch( where he often hides), in the basement( where he tries to sneak off to when someone leaves the door open)….everywhere…but he wasn’t anywhere, and then I really started to get scared and panic; where was he? Where could he have gone? I just got this cold sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, fearful dread and worry; what if someone had come in during the night and took him? What if that was actually the noise I’d heard at my door in the night? What if he’d somehow run away? I was really worried. He didn’t even come when I called him which was unusual.

As it turned out he was under my bed the entire time. Even though I had already looked there he was way far in the middle, hidden,and it’s really dark under there so I only saw him the second time I looked in with the flashlight. I reached in, grabbed him,and pulled him out. I was just so relieved he was ok. I was looking for him for over 30 minutes! He must have been hiding in there thinking he was in trouble or something, hearing the panic in my voice, but it certainly wasn’t a good way to start my day, and I had visions too of  maybe even finding him dead somewhere. He is old afterall, and turns 11 next month!

The 9 YR old also just randomly said to me, out of nowhere, “I hate you and hope you die!” and it really hurt when all I want is for someone  to tell me that they love me, and when I think about M, who I loved for 5 YRS and thought I would marry now I wonder if I ever really loved him afterall, or if I was more in love with the potential of him, as there were high hopes for his future; he’d hoped to become a lawyer and go into politics and maybe even become PM one day….the future looked bright and I imagined being by his side…as it turned out he didn’t, but he did still end up successful, earning a Masters degree in Business, but I later discovered that he’d misrepresented himself as a preppy rich kid when he actually lived in public housing; the ghetto, although it is admirable that he bettered himself, but as it turned out it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because he turned out to be gay and didn’t love me anyway.

As for my hubby, he was a machinist working in his uncle’s shop when I first met him and then after a breakdown he re-trained and got into computers, which he still does now, and he’s the guy they always seem to call whenever they run into an issue and he maintains a bunch of servers, and he accuses me of “embellishing” my blog,too, but I don’t; I say it like it is and tell what really happens; he just doesn’t like to hear it, but if he doesn’t want to look bad then maybe he shouldn’t be treating me bad, and I’ve noticed as well that once you have kids your relationship always seems to change for the worse, it ruins marriages ,putting strain on them, even if they did get along well before,and then in cases like us where it wasn’t strong to begin with then it just makes it even worse, but I’ve never seen a relationship get stronger, better, or improve once they have kids, but it always seems to decline after.

As bad as new U.S Prez Trump is I found out something good that he’s actually doing: de-funding taxpayer’s money to fund abortions and Planned Parenthood (the biggest abortion provider) and I’m so glad! Finally, a pro-life gov’t, with a pro-life stance and a pro-life agenda! If the bitches want to kill their babies then the least they can do is to pay for it with their own money! That’s what gets me about the Femi-Nazis,too; they always whine, “Stay out of my reproductive rights!” and “My womb is none of your business!”….yet then they expect their birth control and abortions to be publically funded by the gov’t and taxpayers! You can’t have it both ways! If it matters that much to them, let them pay for it themselves! Hopefully now it won’t be free there will be alot less pre-born babies being killed!

Trudeau.

screen-shot-01-13-17-at-10-42-am The other night a few of the kid had the opportunity to see PM Trudeau….or so they thought. They even had spots reserved and everything. The 22 YR old, his GF, the 17 YR old,and the 13 YR old were all set  to go and registered to go see and hear the PM speak at a public event in a nearby town and they were so excited since he is a celeb afterall, not to mention the fact that he’s also hot( which I agree he also is) esp. the 17 YR old who just loooooves him! She’s his number 1 fan, the ultimate fan girl and groupie and she she just couldn’t wait to meet him! She was also hoping for a selfie with him( which he’s known for) and maybe even him to autograph her shirt she was wearing of him,too….it would almost be like me getting to meet Bob Marley.

They arrived at the venue an HR early and the line-ups were already going down something ridiculous like 4 blocks long….long story short: they never even got in. Despite having registered online……so did a thousand other people too….and the venue only held 700…..they said they “hadn’t anticipated such a large crowd” and gave out more tickets than they had availability for……dumbest mistake ever! You should only hand out how many tickets you have space for. They said that even other ticket-holders that had been waiting there for 2 HRS still didn’t get in either; it was already full to capacity. They had waited in line for a good HR…..and all for nothing, they were turned away as it was full.They’re lucky that there wasn’t a riot.Needless to say they were beyond disappointed. Yet something else that’s half-assed in this country. I can’t say that I’m really all that surprised, but it’s too bad that they got their hopes up like that only to be dashed.

I also read about an upcoming abortion storyline on Degrassi, Next Class and the teen girl character that has it doesn’t even have the slightest bit of remorse, regret, or sadness; just relief,and she goes back to her homework assignment as if nothing out of the ordinary has occurred,and they portray it as completely harmless and without risk, and as clinical as getting a wart removed when really it’s killing a baby, murdering a child,and they treat it like it’s some sort of  rite of passge for all women when it’s not(I only knew 2 people that ever did it; my friend’s older sister who was 25, and a girl in high school who was a slut and bitch so I really wasn’t surprised), and I find it very disturbing ,misleading, one-sided, cold, callous, heartless, propaganda,and not right.

The Earring.

Earring I still remember YRS ago when our oldest( who turns 25 later this YR) was about 6 and he wanted to get one of his ears pierced and I took him to the shopping mall to get it done. When my hubby saw it he was furious and bellowed that only “faggots” get their ears pierced and he was really mad even though I explained to him that gay guys get a CERTAIN ear pierced and that straight guys get the other ear pierced it didn’t make any difference; he thinks that earrings or ANY jewellery( incl. rings and necklaces) are for gay guys only and that no self-respecting straight guy has any business wearing it. I still remember how horrible he was to the poor kid over it,too(because he’s an asshole like that) he’d call him names like “faggot” and “gay”(and would make him cry) and would refuse to look at that side of his face where the earring was and would always tell him to turn the other way so he wouldn’t have to look at it,and would make snide comments that he was turning into a girl,etc. He was only 6 YRS old remember. It was so cruel. Over time the relentless bullying just got to be too much and he eventually just removed the earring and let the hole close up because he just didn’t want to hear it anymore. I never forgot that(and I’m sure our son didn’t,either) and for some reason that always stuck in my head.

As well, I saw my new doc again who wanted a follow-up visit to see how I’m doing, and while I was there I had him re-new my migraine and BP meds for 6 months, and I was almost half-expecting to be ambushed, and embarrassed by my breakdown last time(although I also wasn’t expecting for all the painful things to come up,either and was caught off guard)but this time it wasn’t mentioned and I was ok(so he won’t think I’m a total basket case that’s always falling apart every time he sees me) and weird,too: just a couple of HRS before my app’t he phoned me to see how I was doing too which I thought was odd since I was seeing him anyway and at first I thought it was just to cancel or switch the app’t, but with my Social Phobia I can’t talk on the phone so I had my mother answer it and just say she was me….and at the app’t later he kept going on and on about how I “sounded so different” on the phone( ha ha) I think he was suspicious and I just passed it off as “yeah, everyone says that!” HAH!

The lady that my mother gives our aluminum cans to (she cashes them in for $$$$) also saw the Cow Cat on our porch and said,”Hey! That’s the same cat that *I* feed!” so maybe it IS a stray and it roams from house to house to be fed and we’re not the only ones that feed it, and in the news the Liberal Party leader proclaimed that to run as a Liberal candidate in the election they have to be pro-abortion( so much for freedom!) so if you’re pro-life you can’t run( supporters of baby-killing only need apply!) typical of the immoral tyrannical Liberals, and that the average single family house in Toronto is now 965 000$ (who the Hell can AFFORD that?) and the average semi-detached house is over 700 000$, the average townhouse is 425 000$ and the average condo 325 000$! I wish to move back to the city so much but there’s just no way we could afford to live there anymore. It’s outrageous!

God is pro-life!

A Facebook  friend sent me this. It says it all! How tragic it is that society today cares more about protecting endangered species and other animals, the earth, environment, trees, etc. than it does about human life. How much sense does it make they say it’s “cruel” to eat meat, or wear fur,for example, but it’s ok to kill an unborn child? HUMAN life s most important and must be protected(incl. with legal rights) and be safeguarded FIRST! A person’s a person no matter how small! – Dr. Suess


Words can’t even begin to describe THIS….

I read the abortionist that was just killed also provided the “service”(along with slaughtering innocent babies, some 60 000 of them!) of having the mother pose with her dead dismembered baby and have a photo taken, complete with all the blood and gore! WTF? Seriously? This is not only incredibly macabre,evil,and sickening, but borders on the satanic! Words can’t even begin to describe this, or how I felt when I read it. May God have mercy on his soul…I think I’m going to be sick now! Interestingly, if this were war-time, he would have been charged with genocide, killing thousands of people like that!