The Parka.

screen-shot-01-30-17-at-08-33-am I noticed that my Canada Goose parka (like the one pictured here) was missing, that it wasn’t hanging on the coat rack like it always is and I just froze in fear and panicked, with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Someone stole it! I’ve been robbed! I thought someone had come into the house and grabbed my parka and taken it, esp. as I’d heard on the news recently that someone had stolen expensive fur coats and Canada Goose parkas from a synagogue and a coat check at a club! I just felt so violated………..sick, and it was so expensive,too, over 800$ and that was back when I had $$$$; I’d never be able to buy another one again and replace it, and I wouldn’t have a winter coat,either!(and it’s the warmest coat ever!) I was just so distraught, but then the thought occurred maybe the 22 YR old took it esp. since he’s notorious for always taking my stuff without asking(my Crocs, my flip-flops, etc.) so I phoned to check but never got a reply back,so there I was , sick with worry and dread, not knowing if he’d borrowed it or not, or if it really was stolen(and I’d have to call the police) for 2 HRS until he finally came home…….thankfully he was wearing it; he just casually shrugged, “It’s cold  out!” and tossed me the coat. What a relief! I was so worried it really was gone for good, and,of course, then my hubby started making fun of me for even thinking it was stolen, because he always pokes fun at all my anxieties, fears, worries, insecurities, phobias, etc. because he’s an asshole like that; instead of trying to comfort me, support me, reassure me, or calm me, he plays into my fears and anxieties, fueling them,creating them, magnifying them, ridiculing them,feeding them,and provoking them.

Speaking of theft, I remember many YRS ago when my hubby’s car was broken into and the thief stole a bunch of his music cassette tapes, all of them except for the redneck country music ones, so even the thief has some standards and good taste in music, and my hubby and the 15 YR old were also trying to goad me by saying that the 22 YR old( and not me) is Buddy’s favourite, even though I actually am(and it’s obvious); he’s my dog and he loves me the most( he’s probably his second favourite and only goes with him because he has food!) and he’s the only one that loves me yet they won’t even let me have that and even try to take that away from me, stripping me of all love, dignity, happiness,joy, and respect. Why do they enjoy hurting me so much? Why are they so mean?

As well. my mother was helping the 9 YR old with his math( the 17 YR old used to but he kept being mean to her, incl. calling her a retard and saying “I’m going to kill you!” so she stopped,and I can’t do it as I can’t do math) and he was mean to her,too, despite her bragging how he wouldn’t be mean to her ( but he’s just a bratty kid; he’s like that to everyone because I’m the only one who ever disciplines him but when I do my hubby and mother always over-rule me) so she went up to her room and cried, and when I said “I hope she doesn’t kill herself or something!” my hubby smirked to me, “That’s your job!” (to commit suicide) and we were arguing too about my support of refugees; he said we should “look after our own first” and I said we should look after whoever has the greatest need, no matter where they come from, and fleeing war with nothing but the clothes on your back would qualify as the greater need.

I also noticed that the right side of my face is crooked and droopy! My mouth, lip,and the groove between my nose and lip on the right side is crooked and my right eye also droops and is often watery,and the thought occurred to me: I wonder if that time when I had that seizure awhile ago and I thought I was being electrocuted by the electric blanket if maybe I was actually having a stroke? Could it have perhaps maybe been a small stroke? Why else  is  just the one side of my face lop-sided? Great….just great….now I’m more ugly! I saw the movie Lala Land as well and the scene where the guy and girl were dancing up in the sky reminded me of dreams I’ve had where I’m doing the exact same thing; dancing with a handsome stranger up in the sky, and I’ve also experienced on a “trip” high on weed,too, and I was mentioning how the production  Stomp looks good and my hubby made some snide comment about it and I told him, “You just don’t understand art!”( because he’s uncultured) and he goes, “I just like to make fun of it!” He always like to make fun of, belittle,and put down everything and anything that I like though, incl. Reggae; he calls it my “druggie” and “stoner” music, when in reality most Reggae is very spiritual,praising Jah( God), but he’s just ignorant.

Turn your pain into art.

Canadian Values.

screen-shot-09-20-16-at-01-20-pm There is a politician here that hopes to run for leader of the Conservative party( and I’m not going to dignify the bigot by saying her name) and she has this assinine idea, which is eerily very similar to Donald Trump’s of “vetting” immigrants, that is, having them pass a “test”, or a questionnaire, where they have to answer in a certain way in order to be accepted and allowed into the country, as she calls it, to “prove” that they “share ” so-called “Canadian values”….which also happen to incl. abortion and same-sex ‘marriage!” which, of course, many people do not agree with, esp. those coming from the more conservative countries, esp. the Muslim ones, so this is really nothing more than a thinly-veiled way to “screen” for and keep out Muslims…and why…. because they don’t agree with baby-killing and sodomy? Give me a break!. Some ‘values!”

I think this is an awful idea, very discriminatory, very Big Brother, and also not very effective; afterall, people will just lie and tell them what they want to hear anyway, whether they actually believe it or not, they’ll just say whatever , to get into the country, so how is this supposed to work, exactly?  I would also think as well once the would-be immigrants find out how blatantly this country does embrace, encourage, glorify,and promote sin and immorality(as well as racism) that they’d change their minds and not want to come,afterall, knowing what they’re getting into, and would actually be better off staying where they are.

If they’re worried about keeping out terrorists, a stupid idea like this isn’t going to stop them,anyway; they’ll always find a way in, and in trying to keep out terrorists it shouldn’t also be at the expense of the honest and good immigrants that apply and such fear-mongering just creates division and an Us VS Them mentality that only angers and fuels the terrorists and their motives even more as it makes them and other cultures feel “outside” of society, like they are an “other” and not  welcomed, accepted, or assimilated, and giving in  to xenophobia, racism, and hatred and fear of foreigners  means that the terrorists win.

No Words.

Screen Shot 08-19-16 at 03.29 PM Seeing this sad, dazed, wounded Syrian boy in shock sitting in an ambulance after his house was bombed……there are just no words. It is a stark reminder that the relentless war in Syria still rages on and there is such desperate need, for prayer, for refugees, for aid, for peace, for humanitarian aid, for an end to war. Save the children!

If this haunting image doesn’t move you to tears then you have no soul.

The Census.

CensusForm It’s census time again and after the former Conservative gov’t had gotten rid of the long-form census that everyone hated and complained about NOW the new Liberal gov’t has brought it BACK and now the census is mandatory,too, whereas before it was voluntary, so, of course, whenever Big Brother dictates something is mandatory I tell them, “F*ck you!” and rebel at their Fascist abuse of power and refuse. I think it’s an invasion of privacy and very intrusive. They even get access to your income tax info and other personal stuff AND pass on that personal info to others, incl the AMERICAN gov’t! WTF? They can take their census and shove it up their ass!

For more info go here:

As well, one of our cousins in Europe just found out she has 3 brain tumours and they’re secondary tumours so she has cancer somewhere else and it spread and they’ve just given her 3-6 months to live, and my hubby went to the ER for his bad cough, so violent his chest hurts and he has a headache from coughing and he had to wait 5 HRS to be seen…and after all they that they just said he “has a cough” and told him to take cough medicine! They never even did a chest X-ray,either, so how can they be sure? Duuuuhhhh… The oral surgeon also called and I have an app’t next month and it’s been so long( 6 months since I saw the periodontist that referred me!) I had almost given up hope and pretty much forgotten about it!

I found out as well when the 18 YR old stormed out of the house and left home a few days ago he’d been cutting his arms again as well and he’s cut off all contact so we have no way of knowing how he is and my mother said she thinks about him all the time,too(just like I do) and wonders and worries about him and even with him gone now the 9 YR old  should be back sleeping in their room but he’s STILL sleeping in my mother’s bed with her….he probably will be until he moves out(for university later) himself…she coddles and babies him so much! He taunted me as well that I “can’t even do simple tasks” when I was having trouble with the TV remote( we have one of those “Smart” TV’s and it’s so complicated and confusing.)

My hubby also told me to “Stop repeating!” even though I don’t even realize I DO it and it’s just a part of my Asperger’s I can’t help and he’s so scolding and condescending it makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed and like a little kid being reprimanded  and he insults Reggae( that I love) too, calling it “Pot music”, “Druggie music” and “Stoner music” and says it’s “not even music”(he doesn’t realize alot of it is spiritual and praises Jah=God) but I just consider where it comes from; from someone who likes redneck *country* music, so he obviously has NO taste in music, if you can even CALL that music; all they do is complain how someone stole their woman, their dog, their truck, etc.

I also smoked a doobie outside and even though all the windows and doors in the house were closed my mother swore she could still smell it and that it “ruined her breakfast” and then she said she was “dizzy” and “staggering all over” and said she got high from the second-hand smoke yet I highly doubt it with all the windows and doors closed; how would the smoke have gotten in? I think she’s just using another excuse to put me down again, and the 21 YR old doesn’t like weed; it got him really depressed even though normally it relaxes you and makes you feel mellow.

One thing that bugs me as well is people on Facebook posting complaining about helping the Syrian refugees is that people should be “helping their ‘own'” first, but *I* think it shouldn’t MATTER; you should just help whoever has the greatest NEED, no matter WHERE they’re from, and what makes people HERE more “deserving” than others, anyway? Why can’t you help BOTH? Just because you help one doesn’t mean that you can’t help the other,too…


The Refugee Crisis.

RefugeeBoy This has got to be one of the saddest pictures I have ever seen and it made me cry: it is a photo of a Turkish officer cradling the body of a 3 YR old Syrian boy, washed up on shore( along with that of that of his 5 YR old brother and mother; only his father survived) as he and his family desperately tried to cross the Mediterranean fleeing the war in Syria for a better life in Europe. Equally heartbreaking is his story isn’t unique; there are THOUSANDS of stories like his; thousands of refugees from the Middle East and North Africa who attempt the same feat( and many who also die trying) EVERY DAY trying to escape war,persecution, or extreme poverty, and if they’re lucky will safely arrive at the shores of Greece or Italy, where they will continue on to countries such as Germany in search of a better life. This has been the biggest human migration of refugees since WWII.

Just think about that for a moment. Let that sink in.

Sadly though many countries are not sympathetic and welcoming to these poor desperate souls and cold-heartedly turn them away, such as Hungary where they erect barriers making it harder for them to enter, or even detain them in “camps” and refuse them to leave; they aren’t even allowed to cross thru in transit en route to other countries! Countries such as Germany,Austria, France, Belgium, the Netherlands,and Sweden have been the most generous in opening up their borders and giving asylum, but if EVERY country pledged to take in so many refugees it wouldn’t be as much of a crisis, and THIS country has done pitifully little; the gov’t had said they would allow 10 000 claimants from Syria yet only 1000 were approved……big deal…we have LOTS of land to spare and a low population, with no reason why we CAN’T take in even millions in need, but this shit-hole is very anti-immigration, and esp. when it comes to people from Muslim nations; they think they’re all terrorists( yeah, stupid, I know….) It just gets me so mad.

I heard it costs on average 30 000$ to sponsor an immigrant family to come to this country so only the rich can afford it( or charity groups) and the mayor of Toronto is, and it got me so mad as well when I saw in the news that the family I’d mentioned earlier( where the mother and kids drowned trying to make it to Europe) had applied previously to immigrate to THIS country but had been rejected( even though they DO have family here that was going to sponsor them, so there’s no excuse) and had they been accepted they’d be ALIVE today! So now this country is facing world outrage and condemnation once the story got out( and rightfully so) so in order to create some damage control and to “save face” the gov’t NOW reached out to the family and offered the surviving father FULL CITIZENSHIP to which he declined and who can blame him? It’s too little, too late, and who’d want to live in a country like that,anyway? Thanks, but no thanks.Canada sucks!

They can also take MY citizenship and SHOVE IT!!!!

Even though I don’t have any $$$$$ to help, I CAN do something: I can at least pray every day for these desperate people in need, for their safe passage, and for their new lives, and that countries are welcoming to their plight, and I also hope by posting this post it can bring people’s attention to what’s going on. My heart just cries for these people.