F*ck.

Screenshot_994 F*ck, I’m feeling really, really shitty now. My abdomenal pain is so bad now I’d rate it a solid 8 out of 10 on the pain scale, plus I also have bad cramps, the bad sore back(as always), tired, swollen, achy legs(and so bloated I look like a Puffer fish) and I feel nauseated and sick and just so…..ugh…. I’m bleeding a bit again,too, and I don’t know whether or not it’s a bit of Aunt Flow (which I last had in early June) even though I seem to be in menopause now, or more abnormal bleeding, and yesterday it was so bad and I felt so sick I practically slept most of the day and I took a Tramadol; I still have 5 or so left I keep saved for an emergency; when the pain gets so bad I can’t bear it anymore. I have it pretty much daily now, it’s a constant thing, but some days are better, others worse,now it’s gotten to a point where it’s just a daily chronic thing, and I couldn’t even go to church yesterday I was in such bad shape; I know there’s no way I could stand, or even sit, that long,and my mother said, You know it must be bad if you don’t even go to church!

I also tried to have a nap I feel so crappy, and Buddy came up and joined me, burrowing under the blankets, snuggling in next to me,keeping me company, keeping an eye on me, and he was extra whiny and pawing at me,too, like he knows I don’t feel well, only I couldn’t sleep as I kept hearing what sounded like some asshole on a roof really close by, hammering and sawing, making a huge racket…I just wanted to strangle the f*cker with his extension cord…. and as it turned out it was my hubby, right out on our veranda, right below me on the balcony, putting up the Christmas lights! The Tramadol didn’t do shit, either for the pain, and I’d really be surprised if it’s not cancer actually, and really feel in my heart that it is…..

The 15 and 17 YR olds were also planning on taking the train up to Ottawa just the 2 of them at the end of the month to visit the 19 YR old for a few days over a weekend and hang out, visit, go shopping, etc. and they were really excited and looking forward to it too and planned it for awhile and now the 19 YR old cancelled out on them; she has to work, which I think is a really shitty thing to do; she knows it means so much to them; she should have just told her boss she has family coming in from out of town and requested those days off. The 15 YR old shrugged, Plans change… but I could tell that she was really disappointed. That really sucks.The 24 YR old also said that the average guy has to either have sex or jerk-off 1-3 times a day,too, so guys are even more depraved than I thought they were(and whenever I say guys are perverts the 15 YR old always accuses me of stereotyping….but it’s true……they are!) and if that’s true then my hubby must be getting it somewhere then because he hasn’t touched me in 12 years…..

Where’s My Weed?

Screenshot_800 It’s been a week now since I ordered my pre-rolled joints from the gov’t weed supplier off their official website now that weed has been legalized for everyone but it still hasn’t even been sent out for delivery yet even though it was supposed to be shipped in just 2-3 days and they said I’m to get an e-mail informing me of when it gets sent out and I still haven’t got it yet, and I saw on the news as well there’s this huge back-log of orders and shipments are delayed due to the unprecedented high volume of orders and lack of supply; they’re actually running out and demand has exceeded supply,and,in fact, they said all the orders from Ontario alone are more than in the rest of the country in total!

To make matters even worse is the fact that Canada Post is on rotating strikes now as well, always doing it at the worst possible time in order to inconvenience the most people; usually they do it at Christmas time when there’s the highest volume of cards and parcels being sent thru the mail. I normally get my medical marijuana from the licensed medical supplier but I decided to try this as an experiment, and as a comparison in both price and customer service and I have to say that even though I was impressed that the website didn’t crash, wasn’t slow and the items weren’t sold out, (and shipping only costs 5$) when I ordered like I half-expected I am pissed-off it’s taking so long to be shipped and when I order from my regular supplier it arrives in just 1 or 2 days after I order it, and the mail is just one option, you can also get it by courier, although it costs more ( 18 $ to ship as opposed to 4 $ by post, so I order by mail) but at least if the mail’s on strike you do still have another way of getting it, unlike the new gov’t site that only ships by mail so if they’re on strike you’re screwed.

Legalizing weed is the only good thing the gov’t has ever done for me and now they display their usual typical gov’t ineptitude, half-assed service, and substandard ways, and their cannabis oil is way over-priced as well: over 100$ for just a 15 ml bottle and the one I usually get is between 90-100$ for 40 ml, so needless to say I won’t be shopping there again and will continue on with my usual supplier.Oh, well.

As well, my mother said she only has 2 teeth left, one at the top and one at the bottom, like a hamster; the rest have all rotted and fallen out, but she’s on pension and doesn’t have any dental coverage and can’t afford to pay so there’s nothing she can do, and she can’t afford dentures either so pretty soon she won’t have any teeth at all because dental coverage(and drug prescriptions) aren’t covered in our health care; you have to have extra coverage benefits from your employer(like my hubby does but it only covers him, me and the kids under 18, but not her) but alot of people don’t so they’re just S.O. L. I also realized too I have never had sex in my own hometown of Toronto, just in Ottawa, Quebec( in fact, the 24 YR old was actually conceived in Montreal, and the third child was even conceived in the back of a van at the beach!), Hawaii, and here!

2 Years.

Screen Shot 10-12-17 at 07.07 PM It’s been 2 years since I had my last migraine . Yes! Really! Honestly! No fooling! The reason is, because it’s been 2 years I’ve been using marijuana, that is, good old weed, that’s right, cannabis, which completely eliminated my migraines, which had begun to break thru once again even on my anti-migraine medication but now have stopped entirely.

I still remember it clearly; it was October 2015 when I last had a migraine and when I first tried weed as I’d heard it helps and I was desperate to try anything for relief. Not only did it eliminate the migraine I had but it prevented future ones and I also found it alleviated any other types of headaches, pain, or cramps I might have as well,and it also eases my anxiety, lessens stress, helps me sleep better, and relaxes suicidal thoughts, but the odd time I might also get a bonus,too, an added side-effect, such as like being able to leave my body, go to another dimension, feeling colours and sounds, seeing the walls breathe in and out, floating along on a wave of sound,etc..

It’s kind of funny in a way too as I never did weed growing up so I’m like what my mother refers to as a late bloomer; I didn’t start smoking pot until I was 48!  😀 It took a couple of months for it to actually take effect though, to work, as far as feeling “high”; it never did anything for the longest time, it was so funny, I wondered if maybe I was doing it wrong or maybe even”broken” somehow or something and maybe I wasn’t capable of getting high perhaps but it turned out it was just like with sex; it took 2 weeks of doing that too in the beginning before I found out what an orgasm was, it was just like all of a sudden…Oh! So that’s what’s supposed to happen!! although not so much as much with my first experience getting high; it was scary actually and I thought I was dying(I was scared and called over my oldest who was dying laughing and said something to the effect of, You’re fine! You’re just high as f*ck!) ; it felt so weird at first it freaked me out and was just so overwhelming and intense I think my brain just never knew what hit it…. Interestingly, I only get high probably about 1/10 times I have my cannabis oil; it’s not a common thing, usually I just fall asleep.

So now I have a legal medical prescription I have re-newed once a year after a visit with the doctor, but soon it will be legal not only for medical use but for recreational use as well so maybe the cost will go down? That would be nice… and so it’s been 2 years of using cannabis, of being called a druggie, etc. by my hubby and kids as yet another way to degrade me and put me down, of thanking God for His herbs and medicines, 2 years migraine-free….migraine-free…..something I never thought I’d say….yet here I am now, 2 years later…..migraine-free….. thanx to weed….. thanx to weed I am now migraine-free….and I also have a smile on my face and groove to the music,too! 🙂

It’s a gift from God”. – Michelle Philips

 

Cramps.

screen-shot-01-18-17-at-12-45-pm Ever since the doctor examined my abdomen the other day, pressing in with his fingers(and it was really tender and hurt when he did) it’s still really crampy and I have this dull, dragging abdomenal pain, like a combination of period cramps and when you’re really constipated. I’ve had it for a few days now and it also always feels like I have to shit even though I don’t and even after I do. I still haven’t heard when my ultrasound appointment is to find out the cause of my abdomenal pain, heavy periods, ungodly cramps, and distended abdomen, but my first guess is something to do with the uterus, most likely either uterine or ovarian(and I did have an ovarian cyst YRS ago) cancer, or perhaps even endometriosis or pelvic inflamatory disease, but it could also be my appendix,too, or even an abdomenal aortic aneurysm with  such abdomenal pain, but whatever it is it would appear that the doctor poking and prodding it has worsened it, maybe he loosened something, aggravated something,or even ruptured something in there. Whatever he did pressing in on it has awakened a sleeping giant. Ugh!

screen-shot-01-18-17-at-02-16-pm Patti’s son ( Buddy’s former owner) and his wife also had their second baby a couple of days ago, another girl, just over 8 pounds, pictured here. They named her Everley. They must be disappointed though that it was another girl; I’m sure they were probably hoping for a boy, for one of each. I was lucky to have had a boy first (which I think is special) and then a girl……and then more….and more….and more…they just kept on coming….until I had my last child at 40 and then they finally stopped coming.

screen-shot-01-18-17-at-02-15-pm My friend A also posted this photo of him when he was a little kid. How cute is this? I love it when kids are babies and little kids but the problem is that they grow up to be teenagers and then they hate you. I read somewhere as well that if you shove weed up your yoo-hoo(like a supository) it helps cramps. I wonder if that’s really true or not? Maybe I should try it….I also hope I can finally get a hysterectomy once and for all which will end my pain, “Aunt Flow”, and whatever’s causing the issue in the first place. I no longer need it anyway, I just hope they don’t ask when I last had sex…. because do they mean with another person or by myself because if it’s with another person it’s been ages and I’m so embarrassed to admit that, even more embarrassed than to admit the things I do by myself with the vibrator!

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Gays But Were Afraid To Ask.

screen-shot-09-30-16-at-11-40-am The 13 YR old always accuses me of “hating” gay people. I don’t,and just because I disapprove of their lifestyle doesn’t mean that I hate them  and you can disagree with people and with things that they do but still like them as people, and I believe that all people should be treated with kindness, dignity, and respect.I have gay friends, for example. I don’t hate anyone. I refuse to hate. In any case, I have always had certain questions about them, and have always wondered how they do certain things, the “mechanics” of things if you will, just part of my curiousity. For the life of me I just wasn’t able to figure certain things out or wrap my brain around it but I think now I’ve finally found most of the answers!

For one thing, I had always wondered how do they do sex change surgery? esp. when they transition from male to female. I mean, I know they snip the dick and balls off but how do you make the woman’s part, esp. when it’s a hole but to make one where there is no hole? Just the other day though I happened to come across a video online on this exact topic and it was a drawing illustrating how they do it…..so now I know. I also had always thought that in a gay partnership that one of the partners was referred to as the “husband” and the other as the “wife” whether it was 2 men or 2 women, but apparantly  not: with the woman they both refer to eachother as their “wife” and the men both refer to eachother as their “husband.”

Another thing that had puzzled me was with gay guys that I had just always assumed that they both switch and take turns who gets to go on the top and who gets to go on the bottom, but as it turns out everyone has their preference; they are either “Tops” or “Bottoms” and generally stay in their preferred position every time, so I guess then they’d have to match up and find a partner that prefers the opposite.

still don’t know about the gerbils though( or if it’s even true or not) about how some gay guys shove gerbils up their ass…..for one thing how do you get them up there in the first place? I mean, I figure to remove them you’d just reach up and grab them by the tail and pull them out, like how a woman reaches for the string on her tampon and yanks it out….but how do you get it up there to begin with? I mean, tampons have applicators to insert them, gerbils don’t; my only guess would be to use a hollow tube of some sort and put it there and allow it to burrow in….oh, God…and don’t even get me started on the anal beads….

You learn something new every day. Some days you even learn more than one thing.