Arabella Tatyana.

Screen Shot 08-20-16 at 07.25 PM I’ve been having these dreams for the past few months about a baby and also a little girl, but it’s the same person, who has dark brown hair and Down Syndrome.She looks alot like the girl in the photo here, it’s the closest that I could find. Her name is Arabella Tatyana….and she is my daughter. I ,however, don’t have any kids by that name and normally when I’ve had dreams like this it’s like a premonition of my future kids, those that are waiting to be born only now I know that it isn’t since I’m 49 YRS old and too old to have any more kids so I wonder who she is. Is she, perhaps, one of the 6 babies that I’ve miscarried? Is she reaching out to me, is she one of those that I’d lost? Or is she perhaps one of my spirit children that’s waiting for me in Heaven but that never had the chance to be born? In any case, it’s always the same girl, at different ages, aged from newborn to preschooler, and I feel connected to her, a bond, and that we will meet one day….

As well, yesterday in church I choked on the Eucharist(Jesus tried to kill me!) and I kept coughing and coughing, and I heard for the past couple of weeks coyotes have been spotted at the local park, the ones where the kids go to, and the 17 YR old said one of her friend’s parents bought him a Porsche…wow….now  that’s a sweet ride! All of her friends are rich and she has the right connections which is good as I don’t want the kids to be rednecks like most of the people in this burned-out town; I expect more,and better, from them.

The second-oldest left and is in Toronto now staying with a friend and she has a job interview as well at a private school as an English teacher, and the girls outgrew their bikes so we put them out the front of the house with a “free” sign and now they’re gone and I’m kind of sad, it’s nice to give them to people who may need them but also sad at the same time as it means the kids are growing up and  not little anymore; it’s the end of an era, and at my age I can’t tell either when I get all hot, sweaty,and sticky if it’s from the heat or if it’s “hot-flashes” from menopause starting…..