What A Trip!

Screen Shot 08-29-16 at 07.12 PM I went on this fantastic trip yesterday and I didn’t even leave the house! After I’d smoked a joint the music I was listening to became altered, and I noticed a David Bowie song that was playing sounded like it was playing on slow speed and my first thought was,”This song isn’t supposed to sound like that!” and  that something must be wrong with my iPod and then I realized, “Oh! It’s my  hearing  that’s off, not the iPod!”

Screen Shot 08-29-16 at 01.15 PM Then as I looked up towards the sky I saw this bright, bright white light, similar to the one pictured here(it was the closest I could get) in a circular pattern, and it was the brightest light I had ever seen yet I could look directly at it without hurting my eyes or even squinting! (I know it wasn’t the sun,either as I was also aware of the sun on the other side, and it was yellow) and it was round with a tunnel with a round black “hole” at the distant end, with the outer rim of the hole rainbow colours, like in a prism, and the “hole” felt like it kept coming closer to me(or was I going towards it? It’s all perspective) and I felt “drawn” to it, like everything in my very being wanted to jump into it onto the other side but then it stared moving farther away from me again.

I also saw this huge angel in the sky and it was an orangy-red colour and so large it took up half the sky,and it was standing beside the bright tunnel light. It cast a shadow all along the house and backyard where I was sitting outside,too and it wasn’t a usual shadow, but an orange colour shadow and I wondered if anyone else could see it as well( even though no one else was out there, I was by myself) or if it was just me and I was transfixed on it but it just hovered there for a few seconds( or was it minutes? The sequence of time was all out of whack and my perception was distorted) and I should have taken a photo of it with the iPod to see what image showed up, if any, but I didn’t even think of it, I was just so enthralled with the spiritual, mystical experience at the time and caught up in the moment.

Thru the rest of the day I continued to feel an “other-worldliness” feeling as well, felt the “veil” “thinning” between us and the Heavens and it seemed so close like I could just reach out and touch it, and every time I’d look up at the sky the colour was like how the sun would look like if you were wearing sunglasses, and I had this revelation that I’m going to die soon as well and had the impression that it’ll be due to an aneurysm, and I will  find the love and happiness that I’ve always longed for,too, only in Heaven, as in Heaven you’re  surrounded and enveloped by love and then happiness would naturally follow as a result. I would finally feel loved, accepted, and like I belong, incl. self-love as I will no longer be  ugly, fat, stupid, or have my limitations and challenges but will be made whole and new and won’t hate myself anymore, and would no longer have the anxieties , worries, traumas, and damage that cripple me here on Earth, either. I will be at peace.

I don’t know if it was a hallucination, a NDE, a “preview” of dying, or just a groovy “trip” but whatever it was, it was intense! WOW!! It’s not something that I’ll ever forget!

Tripping Out.

HighStoned I had a headache so I “hit” the bong and it got rid of the headache….and did much,much more! For the very first time ever I got stoned, and do I EVER mean stoned; I was high as f*ck only I didn’t know what it WAS as I’d never experienced anything like it before and I was really scared actually because I thought I was DYING! I thought I was having a medical emergency so I went and got the oldest, who was laughing his ass off, and kept reassuring me that I was ok, that I wasn’t dying,and, in fact, was just tripping out,and to just relax and try to enjoy it. I honest-to-God thought I was having a heart-attack or a stroke though and was convinced I was dying.

I used a joint’s worth of weed and put it in the bong and got to work and the first “buzz” I felt was like with “laughing gas”; I felt dizzy, woozy and light-headed and kind of “floaty” and when I stood up I was dizzy and the music on the radio started to “expand” and “shrink”, sounding far away and then louder,then far away,then louder again, and I felt like I was going to pass out so I laid down on my bed. At first I thought there was something wrong with the sound on my radio but then realized it was with my own hearing and I was on the verge of blacking out. I was in a state of altered consciousness and kept switching from a sort of “twilight-sleep” stage like when you’re waking up from an anesthetic and you’re sort of half-in and half out of consciousness, it was like a dream within a dream, in a different dimension, and I felt paralyzed and “left” my body at times, disconnecting from my body,separating, and became “two” people, disoriented, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Time also felt like it had slowed down and things were moving in slow motion. My bedroom walls were “breathing” in and out  as well and closing in on me and my ceiling was changing colour and texture. My oldest came in to check in one me and he looked very tiny as did my bed but the rest of my room seemed huge; time, space, and perception were all altered, and everything was surreal. I was also hallucinating and at times was unable to tell reality from hallucinations. I hallucinated I was in the hospital being wheeled down the hallway on a gurney,and that I was running thru a grassy field,  and I was cold and shivering at times and also aware I had a couple of seizures when I was coming out of unconsciousness; my legs were straight out and rigid and stiff, as were my arms, with my hands clenched like claws and I was violently shaking. At times my heart was racing yet another time I couldn’t even feel my heart and I was convinced that I was dead. I was aware of feeling Buddy moving around in the bed beside me and the “logical” part of me knew it was him yet the “other me” was convinced that the sound was someone coming in my room.

To tell you the truth it was a frightening experience and I’m sure what’s referred to as a “bad trip”. I didn’t think marijuana made you react like that and it really makes me wonder if perhaps it was maybe “laced” with something else, like crack or heroin, or something? I’ve been using marijuana for 2 months now for my migraines and I’ve never gotten “high”, had any reactions, or been affected like this before so I don’t know what it was or why this time was so different. The oldest said it’s stronger with the bong than smoking a joint, but I used the bong the other night too and nothing happened. I’m still affected by it today as well ; I still don’t feel quite “right” or like my usual self yet.

Now I know what being “stoned” feels like. I was scared and tried to close my eyes and sleep to make it go away but I still kept “seeing” things even so; my brain wouldn’t turn it off until I eventually fell asleep. The scariest was not being able to tell what was real and what wasn’t; having your mind playing tricks on you like that, and the feeling that you’re dying. That was intense.